saef, I really like your philosophy. LOL--YES on the old clothes covering a gorgeous sculpture in progress! Oh, how I love that.

Once my clothes started to be too big to wear, I did purchase a few things but not many. Are you buying your "final" clothes now? Just curious.

YEAH, that's a really good way of putting it! I felt like, I didn't want anyone to know about it when I was still in the process of losing weight... I'd rather wait for some kind of "big reveal" moment. That's why I get such a rush from seeing people who literally have not seen me since my highest weight, because instead of having to do the whole awkward "Heeey, you've been on a diet, haven't you?" I'm more likely to get a reaction along the lines of "WOW, YOU LOOK GREAT!! :yikes:" Hehe.

Though I must say, I can't relate to the bit about clothing... Throughout this whole thing, it's been sooo hard to restrain myself from going out and buying a new wardrobe for all the in-between sizes. I love showing off my new shape! Even if I'm not quite where I want to be yet, the better my clothes fit my current shape, the more likely people are to notice the progress I have made. And the better I feel! :D Though it's sooo impractical... I keep buying things that I LOVE and then growing out of them, grr. But I guess as far as problems go, that's not such a bad one to have, heh! ;)

I dont shout it from the roof tops, but I dont really try to keep it a big secret either. All my family/ close friends know.

One thing that really annoys me is once Ive lost a significant amt of weight, people say the rudest things. Instead of complimenting, they will say "What are you doing, starving?" Why do they think you have to starve to lose weight?!

Thighs, yes, I finally have bought some classic, pricey clothes that I intend to wear for a while. In the after-Christmas sales, I bought cashmere sweaters over & over again. Like, a lot of them. A little rainbow of them. I also got a nice long cashmere-blend coat from Bloomingdale's. In my mind, those purchases meant that I was pretty much done. I would not have spent that if I hadn't figured that the investment would pay off in "cost per wear."

Star2Be, it was easy not to buy clothes in the various sizes along the way, because clothes shopping hadn't been fun for me for some time. It was a past-time that I associated with hopefulness -- finding something nice on the rack -- and then humiliation & despair, when I put the clothes on in the dressing room & they didn't fit or look quite right. I had self-protectively got out of the habit of clothes shopping or looking at clothes other than as nice design objects that I would never own. So it wasn't hard for me at all to stay out of the stores or think about cute clothes.

And my personal history is relevant here. When I lost a lot of weight many years ago & also developed an eating disorder, I was too obsessed with clothes. That was all I did on some weekends: I'd go to my favorite stores & try on big piles of clothes in the dressing room. If you have an eating disorder, that is pretty much one of the few things you **can** do, because other things involve socializing, and that could lead to food consumption. So you're alone a lot. And it's easy to shop while alone. I didn't have the concentration to read, for example, since that would mean sitting quietly, and when I did that, I felt guilty because I wasn't moving. (I worried that maybe while I was sitting quietly, the dreaded fat was **collecting** on my body.) Yes, that's crazy thinking. It's a serious illness. So you can sort of see why I wouldn't want to get back into the dressing rooms again as much as I used to, because it was a symptom to me. Also, I am perfectly capable of channeling my tendency to binge into bingeing on non-food items, such as shopping, and I don't want to do that. Moderation is key for me.

I can agree with much of what was said here, but I guess I have to add my experience...
When I first started this journey, the only person I told was my husband. It was a really sad affair, because he was losing his eating partner...lol
My husband is six feet tall and he weighs about 200 sopping wet...he eats whatever he wants and never gains an ounce. But he LOVES to go out and eat and he loves to take me out to eat...I think part of him loves to feed me, as he loves me at my current size. (wouldnt that be crazy?!!)
So when I told him that I wanted to lose weight and I would be making healthier food choices, he looked kind of sad and he took a deep breath and said, "Ok boo, what cant you eat now?" and I pretty much said "everything i used to eat" :)
But since then, he's been very supportive and he tries not to tempt me (even though he still does sometimes before he can stop himself).
But I havent told anyone else, even though many people have guessed as I carry water everywhere with me and when we go out I ask for salads with fat free dressing on the side, but no one close to me has asked me about it and I havent heard any discouraging comments or questions related to it.
But the best part in all this is the response from the people I work with. I always go to the gym at my job during my lunch break and now, when its time for my lunch, the people next to me are like "are you working out today?" and when I say "yeah" they are like:" girl you are going to be looking GOOD!" :carrot:YAY!!:carrot:

The clothes one is interesting. Last time I lost, I didn't buy too many new clothes in the early stages, mainly because my clothes still fit, they just weren't stretched to their absolute limit any more, blush.
However, once I got into 'normal' clothes, i.e. the sort of thing I could buy off the peg NOT in a fat shop, it got harder not to buy. Particularly underwear/lingerie. The joy of a flimsy instead of foundation garments is huge!

Unfortunately, I spent so well that I got into financial difficulties, to put it mildly. I wasn't buying designer stuff, I just don't earn a lot and there was the credit card ... or two ... I became aware that I swapped over eating for over spending. Just an obsessive me.
Anyway, the good news is I've been debt-free for 34 months. What I'm working on now is being as automatically in control of my eating as I am of my spending. I'm on spending maintenance - I know where every penny is, every penny I own stands to attention when I come into the room. People think it must be a chore for me but it's absolutely second nature. Now, this time next year, God willing, I Will say the same about food.

btw, thankyou, this is a very interesting thread!

I didn't tell ANYONE. Well, except on my blog. But no one IRL. I had dieted and failed enough times that it gets embarrassing. My kids did ask me things like "why don't you ever buy ice cream anymore?" and I told them the reasons why (nutritionally) and also that I needed to lose weight to be healthy. But besides them, I told no one.

When anyone asked "are you losing weight/how are you doing it" I answer, but I don't go on and on. I do all my bragging and whining online :)

I haven't shouted it from the roof tops this time either. My maternal grandma knows, but you couldn't ask for a more wonderful, supporting person ever. She loves me no matter what and tells me often.

My mom knows, which is a double edged sword. My mom is the textbook example of bad dieting. We don't really talk about it much, but she has done every unhealthy thing on the planet to lose weight for years. Here is a perfect example of how unhealthy her relationship with dieting is and how it probably affected me. I told her once that I would sometimes binge and make myself vomit. It wasn't something I did all the time, but that I did it. (That was in MY past.) Did she get upset? Did she yell at me? Nope. She asked me how the heck I did it because she's never been able to make herself throw up. :( We just talked about it like it was the most normal thing in the world to do. Insane. Totally insane. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my mother, she is a tough, smart woman and a great mother and grandma, but when it comes to weight loss...she is a lost cause. I could write a book with all the stuff she's tried and diets she's been on. BTW, my mom isn't even that heavy. Seriously. She just has this overwhelming desire to be the undernourished sick little thing she was when she married my Da.

Husband, I do NOT discuss weight with my husband. He knows I am trying to lose weight but that it is not a topic of discussion with him.

I talk about it here and there are a very few online friends that I mention it to somewhere else. That is it.

I don't know why, but by NOT announcing it to everyone, everywhere I feel more in control, more serious about my decision. That's just me though.

I'm telling my friends and family I'm on a diet. I was just sick, and concurrently, I've lost weight, but not because of the cancer. I was dieting and lost 22 lbs. prior to my diagnosis. It did not spread to my lymph nodes and is gone. While I was recovering from my surgery I lost weight because of a lack of appetite. Some of the moms at my kids school are looking at me a little funny, like they are attributing the weight loss to the disease rather than the surgical "cure". I told two friends, two teachers, and my kids about the cancer, but somehow everyone knows. I see a pitying look in their eyes, which drives me bananacakes because I hate that people think I'm probably going to die. So, if they are brave enough to ask me about the weight loss, I tell them I'm on a diet and becoming gloriously healthy. And I posted my pic for an avatar, so if there is anyone on this site who knows me, they will recognize me. I, too, am not buying a whole new wardrobe for the way down. I have clothes left over from the way up, actually. When I reach my goal of 130 lbs. I'm going shopping.

I didn't tell anyone except my husband and kids at first. People started noticing at about fifty pounds down. After that it's hard to avoid the subject. I didn't tell anyone at first because I was so afraid I would fail. I was very determined to get the weight off, but I still didn't trust myself. Now I'm fine with talking about it unless the person is over the top shocked by it. Then I feel really uncomfortable and change the subject.

There is a common thread through many of these postings, many of us did not want to tell other people when we started our new way of eating because of fear of failure.

Many of us have lost and gained, lost and gained. I like what I read somewhere... multiple attempts to lose weight is not failing. It is learning what works for us. A baby has to fall many times while learning to walk. In our past attempts, we were learning and now will use that knowledge to be able to walk and then run!

This is a great topic. I have kept mum as for several months as I have dropped from a size 24 to a 20. Now people are noticing, which is fine if they say I look great. But I hate it when they say "Wow, you look so much BETTER." Does anyone else think that is just rude?

I've had that in the past and decided just to swallow it. People mean to be kind but it really p.s me off!

I don't go out of my way to tell people, but if it comes up in conversation I don't skirt around it. ie, if someone asks why I'm not eating a sweet treat at work or whatever, I'll tell them why.

Oh, yes, the backhanded compliment is rude!