Foxxy - you've done amazing. Good luck on the substitute teaching!!

Glory - I always enjoy what you write.

Rhonda - Thanks for starting the thread, I like to read what everyone has to say.

Nurse - to a point is correct - in black and white people gain weight by eating more calories than they burn - I think we all get the science part of it, I think Rhonda was looking to see WHY people eat more than they burn. Everyone is different.

Growing up I never had a weight problem, looking back without seeing it then my mom always made sure we had nutritious food, we didn't have dessert everynight and that was OK. Once I got out on my own at 18 and was workign 2 jobs, I got lazy and ate fast food and gained all my weight very quickly. But I have figured out enough is enough. I have had 15 years of eating things I wanted to eat in the quantities I wanted to eat them. I am not happy with the way I look, I am not unhappy as a person. I find I avoid pictures (like I am sure many of us do), my daughter is 3 and I have very few pictures of her and I that I like. We might need some when she gets married one day, I'd like to be proud of how I look in them. I am the only one that can change it.

I think I over-rambled - sorry guys!

Angie

Angie

I would say that those of us who have 100lbs or more to lose are definitely in a different boat than those who have a bit less to lose.

I think those that don't have as much to lose gain weight for a variety of reasons including eating out of boredom, eating large portions, eating fast food, not monitoring weight and sometimes just not realizing how much weight they gained. Of course I think those people can turn into 'us' if it goes on too long because then an emotional dependency with food can form. There are also those that have less than 100 lbs to lose that have disordered eating as well but..

It is my overall belief that anyone who is 100 lbs or more overweight has some type of eating disorder. It could be a variety of things but food does fill an emotional need. I developed an eating disorder at a very young age and would binge eat. I also came from two overweight parents that also had major food issues.

Of course once you get to a certain weight, things become hard. Exercise can be very difficult for many although that isn't an excuse for not exercising. You can also develop medical issues once you gain weight that can make weight loss very slow. I know many of us have discovered we had PCOS and others may develop diabetes.

I think it is important to know WHY we eat and WHY we eat what we eat in order to help us make better choices and lose weight. I struggle on a daily basis with my eating disorder and it'd be nice to say that *poof* it'd disappear and food wouldn't have the hold on me that it does, but I don't think that is going to happen. So I have to learn the best ways to deal with it and only then can I lose weight.

I eat too much.
10 years ago I could eat anything I wanted and I stayed the same weight. 5 years ago I had to start watching what I ate. A year ago my lifestyle has become much less physically active and my eating habits had not changed with my inactivity.
Breaking old habits is not easy but it will be worth it if I'm once again comfortable with the way I look.

I don't necessarily agree that everyone who is this overweight has an eating disorder. For me, I am physiologically addicted to sugar and I come from a family that has a genetic tendency toward addiction to alcohol and/or sugar. I managed to not become an alcoholic, probably because so many in the family were already in AA and I knew I didn't want to go down that road; but I wasn't aware that there was such a thing as sugar addiction. Compound that with the 80s mantra of "low fat is the only proper diet," and it was very easy for me to become fat and very hard to figure out what to do about it. When I am eating the kind of diet we were recommended to eat back then, I just cannot lose weight, because my hunger and cravings are out of control due to the physiological responses of addiction.

However, when I am practicing a foodway that cuts out refined sugar and grains, the physiological addiction is no longer in control and my body responds by losing weight--partly because I don't have the cravings and hunger and thus I naturally eat less, but also partly because of the chemical balancing that happens inside me.

This is not an "eating disorder" in the emotional sense, but rather in the physical sense. Delving into my emotions about weight and food has never worked for me or been very helpful. I do have a few habits that have needed changing--for example, there are times I just want to chew on something, which is kind of a nervous tic. But I don't tend to comfort eat, or eat out of boredom, or eat when I'm stressed, and I never have.

That being said, I do think it's really important to examine the "why" of getting fat, even if it doesn't turn out to be about emotions for everyone. It's definitely about SOMETHING more than just "calories in, calories out."

WarMaiden - I'd agree that is something 'off' as well and it may be a sugar addiction and it may have to do with highly addictive personalities. I think I'm addicted to eating, sugar or not. Although I agree that when you cut out certain foods, it does become easier to lose weight because the physiological addiction is no longer there. Although for many of us, the mental addiction still is.

The reasons why I am fat... it is a lifetime of a story, and probably is more appropriate to tell when I'm down at goal and can share better.

Being fat is truly ingrained in every aspect of my life, and has been since I was probably 5 years old. And every time I face myself as I go to the fridge or the cabinet to grab something that I know I don't need, I'm facing my entire life up until now... dealing with all of the emotional reasons I eat. And it's tough. And I don't always win the battle. But I am winning the war.

Yes.... and no.

Yes, the technical aspect of it is that we all ate too much and did not exercise enough.

But, we're delving into the "why did this start?" and that's a LOT more complicated than just "calories in/out". Weight loss for me, having been 180 lbs overweight, began with things a lot more complicated than calories in/out. I have struggles beyond just "eating too much". And I'm dealing with those at the same time that I'm dealing with not eating to quiet those feelings.

Calories in vs. calories burned is VERY true for SOME people. And I thank everyone for keeping in mind that each and every person is different, physically and mentally!

Smoking; there are two additiction to concour when smoking, it is a scientific fact, no point in disputing it. For anyone who has smoked for a considerable amount of time they must first concour the nicotine addiction (3-7 days) But the physical addiction, the act of lighting up and having it in your hand while you drive etc, takes weeks!

Weight issues;

1. people who have a considerable amount to lose are in an entirely different boat than someone with 20 pounds to lose IMO
2. Chemical imbalances play a huge part (thyroid, hormones, etc)
3. SOME people cannot lose weight because they are not eating enough to make their system work properly (I have three doctors and 2 years of tests to prove this fact for MY body)
4. Addiction effects many families, it may be through alcohol, drugs, sex, work, power,food etc. Society has finally accepted alcoholism and drug addiction (at least some people have) but people with food addictions are considered laze...pretty sad!

OK, you can tell that reading this post really got my blood boiling! And I know that the majority of people here are all in the same boat and I am thankful for a 100 lb forum so we have that safety. But we all really must think about what we say when we throw out black and white answers like that. Not everyone one of us has a food addiction problem, not everyone one of us has a chemical imbalance, not not everyone on of us just consumes too many calories (For me I have to double my normal everyday caloric intake in order to lose weight---of course my normal everyday menu is not a healthy habit at all!)

Stepping down from my soap box now!

i have a tendency to act out of guilt and indulgence. that is, as grandma has offered endless goodies and snacks over the years, i have a hard time saying no. if hubby is picking up dinner, but i already ate, cant say no...don't want to waste food b/c i am cheap and look at it like not getting my money's worth, indulge on snacks b/c that is how my family responded to any and all emotions.
not having such a hard time now. i throw half my portion out, or take it home if i go out to eat. i tell my hubby no on the extra meals. i have even learned to say no to grandma's snacks.
good news. i now get a tummy ache each time i eat something sweet.

Why am I fat?

- I stopped working out back in 2001
- I like junk food and I ate a lot of it
- I was lazy and didn't care about myself
- I didn't want men to look at me that way anymore
- Major self esteem issues
- I ate fast food once a day sometimes twice
- My fat was my suite of armor

As you can see a mix of the obvious and emotional issues. Therapy helped but something just clicked back in September (I can't fully explain it) and I knew I could finally tackle this. It's kinda like giving myself permission to be happy again. I was in a deep funk for a long time and it's nice to feel alive, the happiness that I project is real for a change.

Wow!

Thanks Rhonda for posting this. I could go on and on but I think I'm going to dig into this a little deeper for myself.

After a traumatic childhood experience, I started packing on the pounds. I was in 5th grade. Food was a comfort to me. I believe I also used it to keep men away from me. I also believe that at some point I was using it to punish myself.

I managed to keep my weight somewhat in check (maybe 30lbs overweight) until I got married. Then I just let myself totally go. I used food once again. I had 3 kids rather quickly, stopped working (outside of the home), was frustrated, bored, lonely, still punishing myself, cared for others more then myself.

I think I knew these things for many years, waaay before I lost the weight. Knowing the reasons never really helped me though, I must say. I mean I KNEW them, but then what?

The big question is, all the above reasons aside, why did I allow myself to abuse myself with food for all those years? Why did I think that that was OKAY? I may never know the answer to that.

I do think it's helpful to "figure out" why we got so fat, but I don't think it's ESSENTIAL. Sometimes you just have to make a stand and say enough is enough. Whatever the reason - it just doesn't matter any more. It's not acceptable and I'm not going to allow it to go on for another second.

Maybe knowing the reasons doesn't help much with getting to the beginning part of losing weight--the "motivation", as it were--but maybe knowing the reasons does help later on, with continued loss and maintaining?

I know that the first time I lost weight, in 1992, I didn't fully know the real reasons for my weight gain, so I was un-wary about gaining it back. This time, I feel very on guard and very aware of the kinds of behaviors which would lead to my loss stopping or to weight gain.

Why?

Well, I eat for comfort, I eat to take care of myself, and I eat to punish myself for eating! (Yes, I know that is a contradiction...but I watch myself do it.) I also eat as a way of controlling my own body (my mother has a fantastic figure and started fighting with me over food when I started gaining weight in my early teens.) I think fat has also been a way of hiding and excusing myself...oh what I could be and do if I was only "normal".

The first step of my weight loss journey was therapy. It was a year or more before I started changing my eating patterns. This year my goal is to be more active and to continue the pattern of regular, slow weightloss.

100 pounders...you are an awesome group! I couldn't do it with 3FC and all of you.

I think "eating more calories than burning" is the ONLY statement that is (at least technically) true for every person who is overweight - but it's such an overgeneralization that it loses almost all meaning. "Just eat less," is dismissive and doesn't work for the majority of people trying to lose weight, because many folks in trying to eat less do so in a way that makes it difficult to sustain. They may cut calories to the point that they are hungry all of the time, and brain chemistry and body physiology makes "dieting" a white knuckled, tooth and nail endeavor that is doomed to failure, because all of God's creatures have a biological drive to feed themselves, and mind over matter works only for a short time.

Also, if you're eating a junk-filled unbalanced diet, "just eating less," still results in a junk-filled unbalanced diet, just a slightly smaller one. Are cravings psychological, physiological or a combination of the two. Is the proportion unique to an individual?

I think lumping all overweight people into the same physiological and emotional boat, is ridiculous, and the reason that weight loss research results yeild such a dismal failure rate, for the most part. Nothing works (except for weight loss surgery and then only about half the time or less) mainly because whichever program is being studied is only working for a small portion of the people studied. "Any diet works, if you work it," in a sense is true, but is also very misleading. Crash diets "work," but they are not sustainable (for most people) in the long term. Saying "any diet works, if you work it," is a way to rub a person's nose in their failure "you failed because you didn't try hard enough."

Sometimes it takes working smarter, not harder. For some (but not all) folks that means learning to deal with emotional issues that trigger comfort food binges. For some that means eliminating sugars and simpler starches (probably physiological in nature).

I spent 36 years (since age 5) trying to lose weight, failing more than succeeding. My parents were blamed and blamed themselves (even though I was the only child of four to be overweight as a child). My brother and I were adopted (not biologically related) and our younger sisters were brought into the family the traditional way. My sisters, who are my parents bio-kids have had a weight history like our parents. One favors Mom, thin and athletic as a child, and starting to gain weight (all in the butt) in her late 20's. My other sister favors our dad, thin, slim, and athletic all of her life (and if she continues like Dad, maybe putting on a few pounds in the waist after retirement). My brother (also adopted) follows an even different pattern - remaining very slim, despite eating like a horse (at 12, he would eat a medium sized mixing bowl of cereal, about 700 or more calories daily). Now at 40, he's just starting to put on a bit of weight (although Military disability and PTSD probably are a contributor).

Genetically, there are probably folks that would tend to be a little overweight in almost any environment (except famine), and there are probably folks who would tend to be thin or even underweight in most environments. The Standard American Diet, and the lack of physical movement needed in our culture, is creating an environment in which it's more common to be overweight than underweight (some stats report that 2/3 of Americans are overweight).

It's a complicated issue and trying to condense the issue into a single truism just doesn't work. The reasons and the solutions are complicated, and assuming that any of it applies to everyone in any meaningful way is just ridiculous.

For myself, I've found that sugars and simpler starches trigger insane cravings and hunger. Not knowing to eliminate or severely limit them, any attempt at calorie reduction (while still including starchy and sugary foods, even "natural" ones like fruit and whole grains) was torturous. I felt like a caged and starving animal, every moment was consumed with thoughts of food, either what I was or wasn't eating. Reducing carbs provided a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm still having problems sticking to my food plan (but I wonder how well a cocaine addict would do, if cocaine were pushed on them by friend and stranger alike, and was available at every corner convenience store for 99 cents) and cocaine was a hidden ingredient in most common foods and not using was considered antisocial or even just odd.

Not all overweight folks are food addicted. Not all food addicted are overweight. Not all overweight folks have emotional problems. Some, but perhaps not all overweight and especially obese folks have genetic predispositions towards putting on and keeping on weight. Some overweight folks have specific food addictions (sugar, carbs) some have no problem eating sugar or starch in moderation.

Assuming that there's a one size fits all approach is probably the single most damaging theory to successful weight loss.

Oh, so many reasons! Mostly my lifelong terror of rejection causing me to gain weight so I can be 'pre-rejected' on the basis that I'm not cute enough to be considered a potential friend/mate/employee/whatever. Combined with my parents' eating disorders and their weird food control issues, I didn't have much of a prayer.

It's taken me quite some time to work through those issues, and sometimes I think that's part of the reason I hit the giant plateaus I keep hitting. My carb intolerance slows my weight loss down bigtime, but I think part of it's psychological. I'm scared to be thin, which is so sad. But I know a lot of people here can relate. I'm still working on it!

I am just curious why someone with only 40 pounds to loose would be posting in the 100lb club to begin with? Don't get me wrong, everyone should be able to post wherever they want but everyone here is so supportive to come in and say, "this is what it is...plain and simple, black and white" almost seems like a purposeful attempt to disrupt the atmosphere here.
I don't mean to be disrespectful to Nitenurse, but I just found it really odd.

I don't think anyone here does not know about "calories in calories out". I don't think anyone here is looking for a magic wand or to make excuses. (but if anyone finds one e-mail me right away!) I think we are just looking to be with people that "get it" and that may have some insight on the journey that we don't have.