Lemme just say, once again, the husband is bringing in junk. I know the answers... ignore it, it's his choice to eat it, etc... but I just want to vent and say that having an unsupportive husband makes this harder.

He bought a case of 24 Heath bars and keeps them in the dresser in the bedroom rather than in the cabinet I asked him to keep them in (out of sight). He has kept the fridge stocked with full fat, 400-calorie-per-cup eggnog and there is a new half gallon in there again tonight. When I did the holiday baking I asked him to buy one single serving bag of M&M's so my daughter could put them on her cookies, and he bought a 56 ounce bag. I didn't even know they made bags that big!!

Then there's the bacon, the full fat mayo, the full fat sour cream and the dips he makes, the full fat cream cheese and other cheeses, crackers, snacks, corn chips, nacho cheese sauce, etc etc.

Tonight he came home with TWO boxes of donuts. Two!! And you know, if it was a special treat for the kids, ok, but all this stuff is being purchased while my 4 older kids are GONE to their father's for 10 days for Christmas.

I just want this not to be so darn hard. I know it's my choice what I put in my face, but darn it, it is hard enough trying to eat healthy without having boxes of candy bars and donuts and eggnog in my face at every turn. Seriously.

I won't eat the stuff. I'm just a bit distraught...

Oh Lyn,
I am so sorry that you are going through this. I have had the same problem with my husband but this time he is working with me better than before.

There have been a couple of times that I could not stand being at home alone with his junk so I put it in the garbage disposal. What is the difference between putting it in the garbage disposal and putting it in my face? At least the garbage disposal won’t gain weight. I am better off with it in the garbage disposal and he learned to keep it out of my sight.

Good luck! Be sure to post when you feel like this. It really helps!

Yes, it's his house too, but it's also your house. If he refuses to put stuff out of sight as you asked - start throwing it away. Yep, once he brings it into the house, it's communal property and you can dispose of it at your will (and if he doesn't like it, maybe he will do as you requested and start keeping it out of sight).

Ordinarily, I wouldn't be so harsh, but to me, this doesn't sound like incidental lack of consideration, but more like intentional sabotage or at least a tantrum-like "I'll do what I want to" rebellion.

So yes, I would warn him that if he doesn't keep certain foods out of sight or in his designated spot in a cabinet or fridge - that you will throw them away.

I so completely agree. I don't even know that I'd warn him ahead of time; I might just start slowly, quietly disposing of things and/or moving them from exposed places to the out-of-sight places you've requested they be kept. At this point, with him having announced he's divorcing you and all, his behavior is a pretty obvious and open attack on you and your healthy lifestyle.

Yeah, this is nothing new. He does it every so often. ANd yeah since he doesn't seem to give a crap about me in any other way either... well... yeah. He'll be out in a week and I will throw away all his crap foods.

It's just a shame, really. I am a mother after all and you'd think he'd want me to be healthy for the kids.

AMEN SISTER!! I can so totally relate to your situation. My DH and I are on good terms.no separation or divorce in sight. yet he still is determined to bring in junk all the damn time!!!! It irritates me to no end. I agree that we are the ones who have control ,blah, blah, blah...but you are right. it makes this so much harder to have that bad food in our faces all day long!! I look at it this way... If he was an alcoholic, i wouldn't drink in front of him and bring booze into the house all the time!! I have tried discussing it with him nicely, but i am on the verge of a tantrum. throwing out the food sounds like the next logical step. although i hate to waste the money!! why cant they just respect us enouph to not shove it in our faces??

What a jerk!

We're here for you!

I agree 100%!!

I just saw where you said you two are divorcing. I was going to say you should tell him that if he continues then you will leave but i guess that's already in the works. Wow what a jerk! Reminds me of my ex as well but mine doesn't do things but he has said things thinking it's going to break me down. He has no idea just how mistaken he is. Idiot. I agree with everyone else. Just throw out the stuff. It's still very disgusting what tactics he is using to try to sabotage your weight loss efforts.

Sorry Lyn. I agree, throw it away! IMO, he is your guest - doesn't he have his own place now, out of town? That's your house and your kids (I don't care who's paying the bills). He can't have it both ways. Either he lives there as part of the famiy and has some say in what comes into the house, or he's moved out, he's just visiting his kid in your home, and you get to decide what comes into your kitchen. If he can't respect that, then maybe he needs to get a hotel room when he comes to visit.
In the meantime, hang in there, he'll be out of your hair in a week (and good riddance).

I really think you are being too accomodating to him in this situation. My brother and his wife are divorcing. He still pays the bills, but his wife and kids live in the family home, and he has an apartment. He left the family home (for good reasons in his case), but he no longer has the right to come and go in that house as he pleases, even though he is paying the mortgage. It's just part of the package. That's just my opinion, FWIW, and no offense intended to you. I just think you deserve better.

He's proven time and time again that he really doesn't care. I'm so sorry that you have to deal with him. And, I would definitely throw out the crap.

Oh Lyn, I am so sorry. You are a much better persons than I am, I don't think I could allow him to be in the house w out hurting him! Vent all you need and know you are stronger than all of that disgusting junk food!

He is clearly trying to sabotage you, but the question is why. If he doesn't want to be there, I guess he doesn't want you looking slim for somebody else? Stick it all in the freezer, leave one thing out for him. I know you won't eat any of it, you're doing too well now.

Thanks so much you guys. It is just nice to talk to people who GET IT.

Yeah, I am being accomodating... not for much longer. This house is MY house that I bought before I met him. He has his own house elsewhere. But he is paying the bills, and the only thing stopping me from just ending it this second is that I know he would immediately stop paying the bills... and I have kids to think about. So... soon, I hope to have my own income and then I can say... take your donuts and shove 'em!!

On that note, the 2 boxes of donuts have been on the counter in plain view and I have not eaten any. I almost... ALMOST picked up the box to look at the calories in one, but I stopped myself from even looking because I knew where that would lead. Oddly, he has not eaten a single one. There they sit. I think I *will* freeze them just so I don't have to see them 10x a day.

dump them on the floor. And step on them. Then walk away.

Seriously.

Then take the rest of his food and dump it on HIS bed and walk away.

(((hugs)))