I particularly liked the idea that weight loss is a skill. It IS a skill. And when you first learn something (like Piano) no one expects you to play a concert the next week! That doesn't mean your skills can't improve or you can't learn from others, just have reasonable expectations for yourself.

<mutters> Weight loss IS a skill....hmmm.....

Read the book "Mindless Eating" by Wansink. I think that it will put your issues in a surprisingly good light. Don't give in!

Yikes, I'm blushing. Thanks for the compliments, though. I keep telling my husband that I think I could write a wonderful weight loss book about all my "insights," but until I get all of the weight off, who would publish it (How I went from super morbidly obese to only slightly less super morbidly obese in only 36 years)?

Well, maybe I could get it published as humor.

Well you could write it now and publish it in Onderland - I hear they have a great printing press!

Thanks rodeogirl - but really you have touched on something. Most people who write weight loss books based on their experiences do so after they've lost the weight. And I've often wondered if doing so makes them gloss over the hardest parts - the early failings and mis-steps. The learning process itself isn't explored - only the "after the fact" lessons that were learned.

I am a constant writer, but I'm so disorganized that I lose my bits of writing (I throw away journals in a fit of housecleaning, or as happened recently, I store my journal on a computer but don't save it to disk and my hard drive crashes...)

Guess I should maybe start and keep safe my "work in progress" so I can capture the "in-the-trenches" aspect of weight loss, rather than trying to remember what it was like after the fact.

I think that would be great kaplods! I think it is easy to forget the exact thoughts and feelings you were having on a hard day once you've succeeded.

I would be interested in reading something where there is normal informational text and then sidebars of excerpts from a journal that get at the thoughts and feelings. I like lots of anecdotes when I read books like that. That is what inspires me and encourages me.

Also you might think about getting stories from some of your fellow fat chicks so people can't say "oh well she's just lucky" as they read your story.

As for backing up your manuscript, here are some ideas:
If you have a Mac you can buy an inexpensive external hard drive at Costco (the Maxtor 750gig is only like $150) and then use Time Machine to back up your files. Or just get a gmail or hotmail account and email it to yourself periodically. There are also inexpensive online backup options and you can always print out a copy once a month and keep it in a bank safety deposit box. Or you can do all of those if you're really paranoid!

Kaplods: you are so right. So right.

It's funny. This time around on my weight loss journey I am coming in with nearly 10 YEARS of healthy eating knowledge. Once I got pregnant with my first child I put healthy eating lifestyle into effect with my whole family. The missing link? My unhealthy snacking (binging) at night. The fact that I would not eat for an entire day and then eat 7000 calories at night. Once I made up my mind to be healthy I already HAD all of the knowledge I needed.

It is like the piano analogy. I've been practicing how to play that piano (without actually touching it) for 10 years. So it's EASIER for me to play it now because I have the knowledge to do so. And I am one of the ones who is losing weight rapidly and safely (I started at an enormous weight of 376) and I will continue to do so until I reach my goal. I know I will stall, plateau, slow down... and I will keep going on because the end result is worth the journey.

We all want to support you on your journey. You WILL get there. I promise

*hugs*

Thanks again everyone. Sometimes I feel so lost in trying to find my way around. Kaplods, thank you for your wonderful insight. It really hit a spot with me. I do greatly appreciate the time and effort you put into your responses. It shows how much you care. Thank you

Such good advice already! Unrealistic expectations have done more to ruin a good day than just about anything -- unfortunately it's one of those things where you just have to keep your head down and barrell on through. SCIENCE tells us that eating less and moving more WILL WORK - how the science of your body is going to respond, you're not sure yet -- maybe it'll be 1/2 a week for a year...which is 26 lbs!!! imagine if you did nothing? or worse, gained?? instead of being DOWN 26 lbs this time next year, you could be UP 20 !!! try and see the big picture - the details only crush your spirit

Kaplods...I know this thread is anything but funny...but I would SERIOUSLY buy this book!!!




Linda

Oh it's a little funny.

Well, maybe I'd better get on writing that book (and maybe by the time it's finished the title will be: How I went from super morbidly obese to just barely morbidly obese in only 38 years.

Seriously (and humorously also) unrealistic expectations really are the doom of successful weight loss. Every weight loss attempt I ever abandoned, I did so because I felt like I was just the worst of failures. It was never that I thought I had it "all under control," and didn't need to pay attention anymore. It was that I felt that success was so far out of reach that I'd never get there, so why waste the effort and misery and self-hatred.

I think the biggest part of that was feeling that only reaching the ultimate goal was worth anything. I know the first good weight loss I had, I abandoned because the doctor lowered my goal from 150 lbs to 140 lbs. I was trying very hard to reach 150 (from 155) and the doctor lowering my goal was like pulling the rug out from under me. If I couldn't reach 150 (which I suspected) then I'd NEVER reach 140.

I was 17, so I cut myself some slack - but what a BONEHEAD move on my part (I could kick the doctor too, though he was an otherwise wonderful doctor, though giving amphetemine diet pills to a 13 year old may not have been the most sound of choices. But I was off the amphetemines and by tooth and nail clinging to 155 lbs. It was horribly difficult, but I was doing it).

I can't even tell you the rage I felt when the doctor changed my "goal weight." It wasn't directed at the doctor, but at myself. If I could barely maintain 155, how was I ever going to be able to get to 140? Instead of deciding the doctor was wrong, or deciding that the 70 lbs I'd lost was more important than the 15 I had to go - I felt like every one of those 70 lbs lost was no longer worth anything. Success was measured in reaching the ideal, not in every step getting there!

I was an idiot. It isn't the goal that's important at all, it's all the tiny steps that it takes to get there. That is where the effort is, and that is where the success is, in every tiny step it takes to get where you need to be and stay there.

But how many of us do feel it's "all or nothing," that a "little" progress is no progress at all? Kind of fat, is still fat...

I so cannot express how much I love this site. I think I would still be drowning in unrealistic expectations if I hadn't found this site. Just knowing that I'm not a freak is such a blessing and makes thinking clearly more doable (it's so easy, despite evidence to the contrary to think that our successes are failure - because we don't know that everyone else is struggling just as much as we are).

Somebody make me a "We're not worthy" emoticon ala Wayne's World...for yet another amazing post from kaplods. I'd buy any book you wrote, hon!