I saw a friend that I haven't seen in about six months yesterday. She was shocked at my weight loss. She kept insisting that I must have had surgery. It took some talking to convince her that I hadn't had surgery. I haven't used any pills or new fad diet, just exercise and counting calories to lose it. She was shocked. I guess I can understand, I used to think it was impossible too. She has a lot of weight to lose. I hope I inspired her, but it felt weird that she was so shocked. I completely understand why a person might choose surgery for weight loss, I just didn't want to go that route. I almost showed her that I have no surgery scars. Anyway, sorry for the long rant, but I am really proud of how I've lost the weight. Anyone else have this happen to them?

No, but I understand the sentiment. Losing weight and keeping it off by any method is extremely difficult, and some people who have struggled for so long, they begin to think it truly is impossible. I know I did.

Whenever I saw someone in my life who lost a tremdous amount of weight, I speculated (to myself) on how they did it, and cynically believed it was usually an extreme method and that they'd gain it back (which I also kept to myself). Sadly, I was usually right, at least about them eventually gaining it back.

My viewpoint is a bit different now. I still believe it is very difficult to maintain any weight loss, but I no longer think it's impossible. I'm still a little torn as to whether extreme measures are usually needed, because for me rather extreme measures have been necessary. I haven't had to have surgery, but I did have to change my hormonal cycle (to having periods 3 to 4 times a year instead of monthly) and I had to switch to a lower carb way of eating. On LOW carb, like Atkins I lose weight, but I feel sick and dizzy on fewer than 100g of carb. On South Beach, I don't gain weight, but I don't lose weight either (I can overeat even "good" carbs), so I use an exchange plan for portion control and try to select South Beach friendly (whole foods, good carbs/good fats). Also, because I tend to get bored and frustrated easily, I turn dieting and exercising into a game as much as I can (finding "fun" exercise, like walking humane society dogs or geocaching; and using sticker charts and small rewards for weight loss and exercise).

It's working for me, but it would be seen as rather extreme and complicated to some. "Oh, I could never do that," is something that I hear alot when I tell people what works for me (and on the other hand, I know I said it a lot when talking to people who were being successful when I was not).

It's taking me years to find what does work for me, mostly because I always thought the fault was in me, not my methods, so I always went back to the same methods of weight loss over and over. And maybe the fault is in me, but only by altering the methods to suit me, instead of the other way around, I was finally able to find what works for me.

I think many people face the same mistake I did. They try and fail, and instead of trying something else, they try something that is nearly identical to what they've tried before (which may have worked in the short term, but not the long term).

I know a lot of people say, "any diet will work, if you work it," but I think that often isn't true. Often, when something isn't working, you have to find something (else) that will. Sometimes the experimenting process takes a very long time. I love 3FC, because so many people sharing what HAS worked for them, broadened my idea of what was possible, and inspired me to experiment in ways I wouldn't have thought of before.

That happened to me too! I ran into someone that hadn't seen me in a long time - she was shocked and happy to see I had lost all this weight. She, too, assumed I has WLS. When I said that I can attribute my weight loss to calorie counting, planning, writing everything down I eat and daily meditation - she was very suprised. Then she asked, "Was it hard?". I said often it is hard. That it's even harder thinking that I'll have to keep doing some fashion of this all my life to go further and keep it off. Now isn't that a silly question, too?

Oh well...it is what it is. Alot of folks today do use WLS as a tool to lose weight. You have found something that works for you - one day at a time. Good for you!

So true. I was told not long ago that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing you've done before and expecting different results.

Oh, and congratulations H8cake! You should be proud of yourself.

I can kind of understand, a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while were asking me if I'd lost so much weight because I was ill or they accuse me of having an eating disorder

You've done so well and you should feel proud of how you've done it.

I know WLS isn't an easy way to lose weight at all but I can totally understand why people who lose weight by an eating plan and exercise regime are proud that they didn't have to have surgery.

People always seem to assume that losing weight is impossible without miracle pills or surgery or even an eating disorder and it's great to show them that it can be done

Last year a friend of mine commented how I looked thinner (I hadn't really lost a LOT of weight, I just went rollerblading and running and weight lifting everyday so I toned up). It felt kind of weird because I guess I just like to have people think of me as needing to lose weight. It's like "oh you're thinner now, but you DID use to be fatter before." I don't know why I think that - i guess it's hard to come to terms with the fact that people do notice that I'm overweight and all the little tips and tricks i use to disguise that is obviously not making me seem skinny.

I've had a couple friends accuse me of losing weight in an unhealthy way. They're crazy. I have worked my tail off running, eating right, and playing sports. I've lost 38 pounds over a period of five months. Hardly unhealthy.

H8cake, I bet you totally inspired your friend! I think it is a great example for her that you can lose the weight on your own. However, there would be absolutely nothing wrong if you had lost the weight by surgery. I am no less proud of my mom for having a gastric bypass than I am for you. You have worked hard and you deserve recognition for it!

It is rare to find someone who has succeeded at weight loss. Couple that with the increasing availability and awareness of WLS and it's only natural for someone to conclude that you've lost weight with surgery.

Congratulations on your amazing success so far! I hope your friend does see your success as inspiration and finds the same success for herself.

I get it ALL the time. People don't even ask me if I've had the surgery. They just right away assume that I have. I mean it never even occurs to them, never enters their minds that I lost the weight without having the surgery.

H8cake, you SHOULD be incredibly proud of your accomplishments. Losing weight and keeping it off is without a doubt one of the hardest things in the world. And one of the most rewarding too.

Keep up the good, hard work.

People are just surprised that it's that easy (and yet that hard). They ask me all the time "how did you do it" and when I reply, eating healthy and exercising ... they always clarify their question with "but what diet did you follow".

I can't convince most people that I didn't follow any "diet plan" - not like they're thinking anyway. I didn't go out and buy a book and eat nothing but grilled chicken and cabbage for 6 weeks. That kind of thing.

I dunno. I think when the weight loss is that dramatic, people expect you to have taken dramatic efforts to get there. It's our "instant gratification" type of society these days. No one really believes that you'll just keep going at it for months to see a gradual loss.

Bottom line - people are WEIRD.

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See I think that would kind of irritate me if someone took away my hard work and chalked it up to surgery (not that people who have surgery have it easy). I'd have definately shown her I didn't have a scar.

Congratulations on a great loss!

I think that "slow and sensible," still doesn't compute. When any plan, even the sensible ones like South Beach, come out - somewhere there's a "hook," a promise of quick weight loss (at least at first).

Would South Beach be as popular without Phase I? I doubt it, and I think, even "Atkins" would be very different without induction, or if it started at 80 grams of carbs per day instead of 20.

Unless it's fast (at least at first) most of us aren't interested (at least not until we've failed over and over again on thost attempts at fast). We want the "jump start," and the "quick success" plans. Buzzwords that make a "diet" popular, are also what makes the real work involved seem like a buzzkill.

"Slow and steady," who wants that? We want dramatic, and quick, and amazing.

And it's really hard to get over wanting the amazing. I still want the amazing (but at least now I know, I can want it all I want, but I'm not getting it).

Thanks everyone, I didn't even explain my mixed emotions over her response very well. You all understood exactly what I was trying to say. I really do understand where she's coming from because I've been there... Feeling like it's totally impossible to lose the weight and wanting something miraculous to take it away. Not that the surgery is miraculous, I'm well aware of how hard that is since I have friends who have been through it.
Now I'm feeling good though about the process, I still have a long way to go. I feel a real sense of accomplishment that I worked hard and it's paying off. I think the process will help me keep it off, too. Knowing how hard I worked and not wanting to go back. Here's hoping anyway.
Thanks again for understanding!

I got that a lot in '04, when I'd lost a lot.
People didn't think surgery (it's not that common in the UK to spring to people's minds much) but they did assume I'd done it by some tricksy fad diet. Oh, and one guy asked if I'd been having chemotherapy..... believe me, I had just made it into 'normal', I was no way 'thin' or 'gaunt'.
People are odd.