I came to this realization while in California...

I have put so much energy into feeling bad about my body. Worrying about what I look like when pictures are taken. How I can hold my stomach in. How my arms look in short sleeves. How others view me. If I really look as big as I feel. How my sister who just had a baby is now the size that I was before I started gaining again. How my jeans are tight. How my shirts don't feel as good. How my under garments are tight. How I can't walk up the stairs anymore with out huffing and puffing. How I let myslef gain weight again. If my hair style flatters my now swollen again face. How my closet full of clothes now don't fit again. What people think now when they see me and am heavier than I was 6 months ago.

I put so much energy into these thoughts and feeling.
So much into it every day.

If I took that energy and put it into doing what my body deserves. Exercise, meal planning and drinking my water. If I took all of the energy I put into worrying about my weight and put it into doing good things that will benefit me, it wouldn't be so hard.

So that is my goal for now. To take my energy and only put it into good thoughts. Things could be alot worse. I have alot to be thankful for and I refuse to have my days full or worry and stress over how I look. I am the only one that can change it. And I will. But in time.

Maybe I will ow have the energy I need to do this. Instead of wasting it on things that I cannot change. I can only change the future.

I completely agree with you!! I spent so much time and agony over how I looked, lying to myself, avoiding the camera, arguing with people about how I was healthy, and then letting myself pig out!!! I'm not going to do it anymore!! I'm pouring myself into things I enjoy. I'm cooking dinners for my husband and me that are better for us. I'm doing lots of cross stiching. I'm keeping my hands busy so I don't need to eat. It's great!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!

I actually think some of that 'worrying' is a good thing. In addition to mentioning how you looked you also said that the huffing and puffing got you down. This is a good thing to realize! When I made the changes that have resulted in over a 100lb weight loss it was because I was very worried about how I looked AND how I felt. I think this is a very important step to weight loss. The weight should be on your mind a lot, it should annoy you, frustrate you, be with you when you get up and when you go to sleep. When your weight problem, and lets not kid ourselves it is a big problem! is acknowledged then that is when you are going to change. I think all this energy you are spending now is a necessary precondition for your weight loss journey. Of course positive action is the key but would you have ever gotten so ready to take that journey without the worrying? I know the answer for me would have been no and perhaps it is for you as well.

Larry

Hi ladies. I understand some of how you feel, I've had a lot of those thoughts myself. The thing that we need to do now is stop obsessing over these thoughts and get our collective butts in gear. Losing weight is hard enough work without adding all this worry to it. We can do it if we focus all this passion and energy into something productive.

Jenniffer, I know this is especially hard for you as you lost so much weight and then got derailed by your ex which put you into a tailspin. Now on top of just in general feeling bad about your weight you are dealing with a lot of guilt. I can read between the lines, you are blaming yourself for being weak and gaining back some weight. Deal with it and let it go. All that is in the past, you can't change what happened.

C'mon ladies, let's stop agonizing over what was and start planning for what will be.

Jennifer - I think that's a great attitude!! I have come to truly believe that Exercise, meal planning and drinking my water are the 3 keys to weight loss. Put your energy there and you will succeed!!!!!

BA99TJ..I think that you have a really amazing attitude, and I think it's going to get you far...I can see it right now..you will be meeting your goal, and we will all be right here rooting you on!

diamonddog..I have to agree with you...if it didn't bother me, I would have never started the journey. It should annoy me and bother me. If it doesn't, I would have never started nor kept going.

Jen..Your good. Guess you can read between the lines. I have been carrying around guilt and dissapointment in myself. I was so proud of myself and then I let go. But like you said, it happened and it's over. I will get there again and beyond..I've let go.

JacobsMommy..The 3 keys. Your absolutly right!!!