When i told my sister i was working on losing weight, she literally laughed at me.. we were on the phone ( she lives in the states) and she couldnt talk for like 3 mins cause she was laughing so hard..probably because i have been big for years and years. When i told a 'friend' of mine ( again in the states) that i was working on it she just said....'dont be too dissapointed when you cant do it'... i just dont get people sometimes.. even if i think someone will fail at what they are trying to attain, i offer encouragement because i really am rooting for them. I want to lose weight for my health, but now there is another reason.. i wanna shove my before /after pics (when i have em lol) in their faces lol.. i feel sooo petty about it... has anything like this ever happened to any of you?? are my feelings normal, or am i being catty?? one way to look at it i reckon is whatever keeps me motivated works lol

I understand completely - I think most of us do. This time I didn't tell anyone because I couldn't deal with the negative attitude. They have started seeing that I am serious about it now that I am 6 months in to it. It will be great when they can see the results on the scale.

Stay with it - you are strong - don't let them get you down.

Hugs,
Carol

Remy, how sad that your sister and your "friend" can not provide you with the support and encouragement that you deserve. They should be ashamed of themselves. There is nothing at all wrong with wanting to prove something to them as long as your number one priority is just to do this for yourself.

Please keep coming here. Your 100lb sisters will be happy to provide you with all of the support and encouragement you want! You can do this and I look forward to sharing your progress.

heheh I thought this thread was "do you feel PRETTY" LOL glad I read it !!!

yes, I feel petty sometimes, like I really just want to say "nah nah nahanhahha" to people who think i can't do it!!

For instance, my always skinny sister out West, on hearing that I've lost almost 60 lbs., sends me a box of GODIVA chocolates for Valentine's -- she has NEVER DONE THIS EVER!!!!! coincidence????!?

Just remember your doing this for yourself, your health - and you know what totally swing this around to your benefit.Nothing wrong with a competitive "I'll show them" attitude! I know you will completley knock their socks off when they next see you!!
I know where you are coming from, people have seen me up and down so much over the years, and I do have so called friends who would rather I stayed this weght, but Im doing this for me not them, and I do like to see their faces drop when they see me!!

I put this on a workout cd it made. It's called Fighter by Christina Aguilera. It really pumps me when I think of rude people. I have a few mudd pies with names of some rude people.
I do think that there are people who seriously worry you'll get hurt if in their eyes you "fail". I honestly don't think I've failed.
I've been working to get healthy for 3 1/2 years. Each time I've hit a block and stumbled I LEARNED from it! It's not easy breaking bad habits but it is possible! You will do it and most do stumble but we pick ourselfs up and learn and keep going.

I don't think you are the petty one here. It's very sad that you are not getting support from these people. You know they're wrong, don't you? Think of what fun it will be to hear their reactions when you prove them wrong!

Mez, that was well put. I feel this is a journey for me. I will not lose all my weight over night, but I will do it. I find that people often give me food as presents, they never gave me food before. Very strange.

I don't know if I would bother spending the money to call the states and talk to her anymore, just send letters or email. Sibling relationships can be really weird at times.

I am so sorry that your sister and supposed "friend" treated you this way! How horrible! We will all support you here.

Sending hugs,
Sherry

I dont think you were being petty. I think they are RUDE and CRUDE!! I have been in your shoes and still am. Its got to be all about you !! Im losing weight for me this time...not for my family..but for ME!!
You can do this I have faith in you..we can all do this together !!

This was exactly why I didn't tell ANYONE when I decided to lose. I didn't want people asking "so how much did you lose this week?" I figured that after a while they were bound to notice. It's not like I just have a few to lose. I've lost 55 pounds now and I think I can count on one hand the number of people that have noticed and said something. Even my own husband hasn't said anything. I don't know if it's because he hasn't noticed or is just keeping his head down afraid to say anything.

My sister is one of those stick girls too. She bought herself some new boobs and lays around all summer in her bikini. Is it petty of me to get a secret giggle out of the fact that she's got wrinkles and I, the older sister, do not? When I saw my sister at Christmas I had lost 40 pounds. I also saw my grandmother then. The one who when she saw me before basically told me I was disgusting. Did either one of them notice I was down 40 pounds? NO! I'm sure they were both too involved with themselves to notice I looked better. Did it hurt? A little. But I'll show them. I'm going to see grandma next week and I'll see if she notices I'm down even more. Probably not. It's her birthday and she won't be thinking of anyone else.

My theory is keep quiet. Why announce your intentions? Why tell other people at all? Are you doing it for them? NO? You are doing it for you! If they get to benefit by you looking oh so nice later, well then, lucky them. But this is all for you baby!

I agree with the other posters you are not being petty at all. They are the ones in the wrong for not supporting and encouraging you!! The good thing is that lie far away so when you do see them you can shock them with your skinny self!!

Your feelings are definitely normal. When I first started eating better and exercising, I really expected everyone to be supportive (they care about me, they want me to be healthy, right?)... oh, I was so wrong in that expectation. I stil believe they care about me but not about me improving my health... they fear change.

Example: for Christmas, one aunt gave me a 2-pound box of homemade chocolates and a friend gave me a box of gourmet chocolate covered cookies. Now fortunately (for me), the gifts were left with my mom since I wasn't there and my mom didn't give them their gifts from me. So I took the cookies and rewrapped them and gave them to the aunt that gave me the chocolates and rewrapped the chocolates and gave them to the friend bearing cookie gifts. So not only am I petty but also devious... at least the cookies and candies obviously went to those who wanted them - my mom always said that people give you what they'd like to receive - I choose this time to believe her.

Anyway, the people here have been an immense source of encouragement and support even/especially when those IRL have not.

Hang in there. This is for you and you can do it!

I swear we all have our "place" picked out for us in every relationship -- the "skinny" sister, the "funny" friend, etc. I swear people are afraid that your change will throw the universe out of wack!! If you aren't the "fat" friend anymore, where will that leave them. Drives me Crazy!! My mom is that way, she pretends to be support but to be honest, the last time I lost a lot of weight, I think she was upset with me -- I had changed the dynamics of our family by being happy, confortable and cute!!

Keep up the good work, for you, not for a grudge match -- that can only hurt you in the end. Because, if you are trying to prove someone else wrong, you won't get the benefits you deserve.