[wisher]

Time for a rant! In general I have been feeling great about how I look. I've lost 62 lbs, I'm a size 12 on the bottom, size medium on top, certainly "average" in most people's eyes. The problem is I just moved accross the country and I don't know anyone at all here! I'm finding that when I think about going out and meeting new people and making new friends (especially those of the opposite sex, lol!) I feel really self conscious about how I look, where I still have fat, what still jiggles, you get the picture. It's just really frustrating to go from feeling great to feeling so very insecure again

[xtrisaratops]

Congrats on 62 pounds being gone forever!

That's a big accomplishment, and you should be very proud of yourself!

Just remember, none of us are ever "average". We all have something that sets up apart, defines us, pushes us away from the norm. At my weight, I'm ALWAYS self-conscious, and I honestly don't think that will ever go away. As long as it gets BETTER over time, I'm happy with that.

Don't worry about what people think about the way you look so much! If they're worth spending the time to get to know, they'll be good enough to people to look beyond what still jiggles. If they aren't, then forget about them.

You just keep on doing what you've been doing, and hold your head up!

[sdaisygirl]

what a great job you have done with your weight loss!I think when you move to a new place it is always hard to meet people no matter what your size. I have girl friend that moves alot and she finds local groups where she is with something she is interested in and she has met lots of nice men and woman thru those.

[Goddess Jessica]

Silly girl! Weight loss doesn't make you impervious to self-doubt!

You're a woman, you're single, you're young - did losing weight change any of that? Heck no! Look at any celebrity rag and you'll find an amazing, seemingly perfect woman talk about how she's filled with doubt when confronted with the opposite sex (or worse, being naked in front of the opposite sex).

Here's where you may draw your strength: everyone else is going through the same thing - no matter their body size, brain size or personality. Embrace your success. Embrace your new size.

When all else fails? Fake it. I have always been obese. I don't think I've ever had a lack of a date. Not because I've got some spring of self-confidence that no one else has - ha! It's a matter of faking it. Swallow your fear and ask a new friend out to dinner. For me, the hardest part is the first step. You'll get the hang of it. I promise!

[beautifulone]

Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica

Silly girl! Weight loss doesn't make you impervious to self-doubt!

You're a woman, you're single, you're young - did losing weight change any of that? Heck no! Look at any celebrity rag and you'll find an amazing, seemingly perfect woman talk about how she's filled with doubt when confronted with the opposite sex (or worse, being naked in front of the opposite sex).

Here's where you may draw your strength: everyone else is going through the same thing - no matter their body size, brain size or personality. Embrace your success. Embrace your new size.

When all else fails? Fake it. I have always been obese. I don't think I've ever had a lack of a date. Not because I've got some spring of self-confidence that no one else has - ha! It's a matter of faking it. Swallow your fear and ask a new friend out to dinner. For me, the hardest part is the first step. You'll get the hang of it. I promise!

Jessica, I LOVE reading your posts.

Wisher, 62 pounds is AMAZING!! GOOD FOR YOU!!! I can totally understand where you are coming from, and I imagine I may feel similar if I was in your situation.

I bet you look great and so much better than you think you do! We can be our harshest critics. What I have come to learn is that most people will care more about our personalities than they will ever about our size. And some people will never see or notice what we think are our very obvious "flaws", because sometimes they really are not that obvious and don't make us look however we think we look. You have lost so much weight - take pride in that and in who you are beyond your physical shape, there is SO much more to you and everyone - and in the end, that is what forms friendships and relationships. Good luck!!

[Sheila53]

Originally Posted by Goddess Jessica

Swallow your fear and ask a new friend out to dinner.

I did this once (and I weighed probably 200 or a touch more at the time), and we celebrated our 26th anniversary last June. Try it, wisher--what's the worst thing that can happen? I'm betting there are other people out there who feel as insecure as you do right now who would love it if somebody made the first move.