strange transition periods and getting back on plan
Hi ladies and gents-
I've been MIA lately... used to pop in every day and check up on how great everyone was doing, but it's been crazy lately.
Can someone PLEASE kick me in the behind? I'm in a huge weight loss slump- went on vacation in early August, and then moved and started graduate school. It's stressful in ways I never imagined. I still don't really know anyone here except for my girlfriend, and I live alone and get extremely lonely, which I didn't expect- I was so excited about getting my own place, but it's just empty- me and the cat. My school is an enormous state school and it's just been overwhelming getting used to.
I love living here and I am sure I will like school a lot more when I get used to it- but my problem is, I can't get on track. Even when I have a "good" day (in terms of feelings, not food)- I eat whatever is in the fridge. I am disgustingly off plan- when I first got here, I was down to my lowest weight in recent history- but then, for no reason, I started eating like crap again.
I've gained 5 pounds (which is a miracle, considering the amount of gross food I've been eating) and at this point, I can't even force myself to sign up at the school gym.
I am young (23) but I feel incredibly old and trapped, and part of me feels like I'll never get where I want to be in terms of weight or in terms of my personal life. School is magnifying my problems because I've never struggled with it like this. I miss my family a lot, and I miss how my days were so typical and planned out last year, so I could schedule a workout in whenever, etc.
Any words of advice on getting back on plan and staying on track? I know we all have limitations so I feel a little ridiculous letting this slump control me and "wah wah-ing" to you guys about it.
First of all, don't EVER feel bad about talking to us about stuff like this. That's what a support group is for! I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. Transitions are definitely tough, especially when you're trying to make a big change like weight loss at the same time. Your 20s are rough in that way, because you go through so many changes. But you can get through this and come out better on the other side -- you're strong! You lost 34 pounds! Not many people can be that successful with something as difficult as weight loss, so just knowing that you can do it should give you some confidence.
Now, as for getting back on track. I don't know what kind of plan you were on to lose that 34 pounds, but is it something you can go back to sort of strictly for a few days? I find that when I waver I have to get myself back to what I did in the VERY beginning, to make it a little "project" for myself...a "self-improvement project," if you will. If I'm relaxed about it, I'll just keep getting more and more relaxed and let all the other stuff going on in my life take center stage -- then weight loss keeps getting put on the back burner. Were you counting calories before, or doing some other kind of plan? Whatever it was, make it priority number one to get right back to that plan and to stay on it for ONE WHOLE DAY. Then keep stacking the days, and your scale will reflect it.
Hi,
You have lost 34 lbs, that is something to be so proud of!!! I would suggest cleaning out your apt, all junk food in the garbage and stocking it with health food. I understand you are lonely and have lots of stress, but if you dont make the effort to do something about it, it will get worse. Go to the gym, go for a walk, join some clubs on campus, get a part time job. I don't know what will work for you but you need to realize that you are worth all the effort you make, and the end product will be great. cheryl
We've all been in your shoes, countless times. It has taken me some 20 years "to get my act together". There is nothing that I would like more then for you to get yours together right here and now, while you are still so young. I want you to start living life to the fullest while you are in your 20's!
Making a move is a big adjustment. But adjust you will. Sounds like it's time to refocus, regroup and start concentrating your weight loss again.
Okay, here comes that butt kicking that you were looking for:
The first thing that jumps out at me, is the fact that you say you eat what ever's in the fridge. Well, hellooooo, get all the junk OUT of the fridge and cabinets. You can't have it both ways. You can't keep junk around and EXPECT to be successful at weightloss. It's next to impossible. You can't have junk food and EXPECT to be a healthy weight. They just don't go together. I know it's hard, but it's a fact of life you must face up to. That doesn't mean you can't have a treat every now and then, but those treats really need to be kept to a bare minimum and IMO strictly forbidden in the early stages of the game. If you can't control yourself around them, better to not have them at all. The more you do without them, the less you'll want them.
Keep your home stocked with lots of fresh goodies - fruits, veggies, whole grains, low fat proteins. This way if you feel like emptying out the fridge, no harm done. Slice up a cucumber or 2. No damage done.
Add in a bit of exercise. Walk. Dance. MOVE.
Dana, you've done this before. You've lost weight. You know what needs to be done and you CAN do it. We all fall off the wagon from time to time. Gosh, you did and you only gained 5 lbs. That in itself is saying something!
Good luck with getting back on track. We're all here for you and we all know that you CAN do this.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 09-16-2007 at 07:00 PM.
Oh wow, do I ever know how you feel... I moved 100 miles away from home with a 2 year old to start college as a single mom and I felt like I was swimming past the buoys every day for the first 6 months. When I first started this weight loss thing, I was TERRIBLE at it. I would inevitably fail by 4PM each day I tried to start, and then I would quit and gain 5 more pounds. What is working this time around is that I am, like LisaMarie suggested, just telling myself that FOR JUST ONE DAY I am going to stick to my plan like glue. Just one day. I can do anything if its only for 1 day. Then the next day, I thought, I did it yesterday and nothing terrible happened, let's try 2 in a row! I am only just beginning here but this is my 5th perfect day in a row and I honestly never would have been able to do it if I hadn't just told myself to have 1 good day.
First, congratulations on making it to Graduate School. This shows you that your are determined and can succeed when you set goals. Again congratulations on the initial loss. This is a good first step. I agree with the other posters about the food situation. If you live alone, presumably you are the one purchasing the food. You can make pro health choices! I tell myself -- I can eat high calorie items... but they come at a price...more exercise and limit the portion. I usually opt to not eat a high calorie item. I also find if I schedule activities in my day runner I am more apt to stick to the plan. You might include exercise in your next weeks schedule... if only for 15 min. a day.
It sounds like you might be a stress eater, and exercise it good for stress too; another benefit for us.
The fact that you said you wanted to be motivated indicates you can also self motivate.. so go get 'em Tiger.. what ever the 'em is for you
Welcome back, Dana! I was thinking the other day that I hadn't seen you posting in a while and hoped you were doing okay. It is so frustrating when you know that your weight is a big problem in your life, and even still can't make any headway. And worse, doing everything to be sure that not only will you not lose, but you will most certainly gain back what you've already lost.
Stress does it to me every time. What can I say, I eat my stress away. And it does go away for the time that I'm eating. It's an excuse for me to mentally check out for a while; to avoid thinking about what is making me stressed. For me, major changes in my life are the absolute worst. I don't like change. I like feeling secure in knowing that I know what I'm doing and knowing I'm going to be successful at it. So every job change, buying a house, transferring to a new college -- all of these things brought on a lot of stress that I only seemed to be able to settle with food. Each event preceded a slide into food oblivion that only ended when I woke up and realized I had undone my losses and added some brand new pounds as a bonus prize. Then time would pass, I would get my footing, realize that the change wasn't so bad once I figured out how to live with it, and cursed myself for turning a blind eye to the damage I caused to my body.
I think Lisa is right on the money with her advice. Just start with one day. Eventually I think you'll find that taking control over the thing in life that you have the power to control (eating/exercising) you'll feel more in control of the other areas of your life that don't feel secure yet like school.
The other thing that is important to address is making some new friends. Life is a hard road to walk without the support of people around you that you can trust. What if you signed up for the gym and tried to make some friends there? You'd have someone to help keep you accountable for actually going and it might make the time at the gym go faster, plus you might find someone who you want to hang out with to keep from having to talk to your cat. I'd also make an effort to bond with folks from your graduate program. Join a study group, ask someone to join you for coffee to talk about school and how they feel about the newness of it all, etc.
Just so you know, the above stuff is hard for me, so it's "do as I say, not as I do." Doesn't it seem like making friends was SO much easier as a young child? You just plopped yourself down in the sandbox next to someone, and bam, you had a new friend. No over-thinking it, no worrying that they wouldn't like you, no worrying if they were going to turn out to be weird. Just you, a shovel, and your new buddy. If I wouldn't have to suffer through high school again, I'd go back there in a heartbeat!
Anyway, hang in there. You can do this. You WILL find your groove with school - just give it time. And come back and post when you can. We're all rooting for you!
Everyone else has said what needs to be said. I just wanted to jump in and say I'm glad you're back and remind you that school WILL become routine for you. Don't be so hard on yourself about feeling off kilter because it will all be normal in a month or so.
Dana! I'm so happy to see you posting again!! Even though you asked for it, I can't give you that kick in the butt that you requested since I'm too busy kicking myself!! But I am proud that you only gained 5 lbs before you decided to refocus...shoot, if I'm not mistaken it was only back in April that you gained that much in a week so you're obviously doing a few things right even if you did a few things wrong at the same time. Did you find a gym near your apartment?
I see this as a huge opportunity. Number one, the gym is a great place to meet new friends on campus. Get yourself there. Secondly, you don't have a bunch of people right now in your life who only want to eat pizza and drink beer. That means there aren't any outside distractions to getting your eating plan back together. So get the crap out of your apartment and get started!
As somebody who went to law school, I can tell you that the stress of school will seem a lot less when you don't have the stress of gaining weight adding to it. Right now you're getting it from all directions. Maybe you can't control school but you can control what you do.
Good luck and try to enjoy yourself. Graduate school is a great accomplishment; you should be very proud of yourself.
OMG!! you ladies really are the best... not that I didn't already know that. Thank you all for your wonderful ideas and gentle but effective reality checks!
Lisa, the one day at a time thing is a great reminder. I'm all gloom and doom about it sometimes, because I tend to look at the bigger picture. Of course we all need that too, but it can get overwhelming and then that's just ineffective. So thank you so much for reminding me that every day counts.
Cheryl, thank you! Getting involved in things is what I really need to make myself to, even if I have the beginning. I feel like all these silly excuses are going to stack up and one day it'll hit me how much time I've wasted Thank you for reminding me that I am worth it.
Robin, thank you! I knew I could count on you for a reality check! You told me exactly what I knew somewhere in this thick head of mine. It's always good to hear it from someone else... thanks again (btw, when are you going to post new pics, you skinny little thing?)
Marseille, it's good to have someone to commensurate with! Honestly, I don't know how you do it.. I can't imagine doing all of this and having a small child to take care of. I can barely take care of myself! I'm so glad you're sticking with it this time.. and thank you very much for your input.
Chic, that's a great way of thinking about it. I'm an "all or nothing" type, so once that bad food item goes in my mouth it's all over from there. Thinking about it in terms of exercise has been helpful for me in the past.. I'll give that a try again. And yes, stress eating is not good. I need to find some other way to channel that stress energy. Thank you!
CC, you're so right! Thank you for relating to me. I hate change to... i liek it in theory, and then when it happens I just want things to go back to the way they were, even if they made me unhappy. At least I knew the way things worked! You're a good advice-giver, even if you say those things are hard for you Oh yes, the days of playing the the sandbox beat these by a landslide sometimes! THank you sooooooo much.
Tricia, thank you!
Melissa!!! At least stop kicking yourself in the behind long enough to get to the gym. How's it going? I signed up for the gym at school today.. not the most glamorous, but it's dirt cheap which is always a good thing. And there's a pool... ever since you've written about swimming i've been dying to get back in the water. So thanks for the idea you didn't even realize you gave me.
Robin, HA! I hadn't thought of it that way! Thank you for that. No pizza and beer here.. thank gosh... but there's been pretty much everything else up to this point. And you're right, gaining weight is just as stressful as anything school can throw at you.. thank you for reminding me of that.
Again, thank you everyone! It's only 10:48 but I'm behaving today and even signed up for the gym. I'm going to write myself an exercise schedule like you suggested, chic.
Dana!! back! I've been thinking of all the Danas we've been missing.
School is stressful, but I have every confidence that you'll succeed at weight loss just as you've succeeded in your academic career. Good for you for signing up for the gym. Every time you feel like reaching for a piece of food, hit the pool instead.
I know what you mean, Dana. "Strange transition periods" seems to be the way I define my entire life at this point. :-) So, we're definitely struggling together. I'm getting back on plan though. Step 1) I made an appointment with a friend who is a fitness FANTATIC to go to the gym together 3 days a week. I'm going to find other friends for 2 more days a week.
I'm starting to remember how good I felt in May, and feeling disgusted that I gave that up over the summer. We can do it!
Apryl, I was just thinking about you yesterday (actually after reading Dana's post), and here you are! Wish that worked with checks in the mail.
It's so very good to see you. You're an old hand at college now, right? Good for you for finding a gym buddy. Please stop by when you can and let us know how you're doing, okay?
strange transition periods and getting back on plan
First of all, don't EVER feel bad about talking to us about stuff like this. That's what a support group is for! I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. Transitions are definitely tough, especially when you're trying to make a big change like weight loss at the same time. Your 20s are rough in that way, because you go through so many changes. But you can get through this and come out better on the other side -- you're strong! You lost 34 pounds! Not many people can be that successful with something as difficult as weight loss, so just knowing that you can do it should give you some confidence.
I was thinking the other day that I hadn't seen you posting in a while and hoped you were doing okay. It is so frustrating when you know that your weight is a big problem in your life, and even still can't make any headway. And worse, doing everything to be sure that not only will you not lose, but you will most certainly gain back what you've already lost. 
I'd also make an effort to bond with folks from your graduate program. Join a study group, ask someone to join you for coffee to talk about school and how they feel about the newness of it all, etc.
Oh yes, the days of playing the the sandbox beat these by a landslide sometimes! THank you sooooooo much. 
back! I've been thinking of all the Danas we've been missing. 
