So, where to begin? I posted awhile ago that I fell off the wagon and was having a hard time picking myself back up again and that I was considering gastric bypass surgery. Since that post, I immersed myself in all the information that I could read about it in books, the internet, message boards and email groups. It was pretty much all I could think about; a sure fire way OUT of this mess I have gotten my body into. Not an easy way out, but at least a relatively sure thing.
This week I found myself at home alone for three days with the kids away camping and the husband on a business trip and not only was I spending every free moment (and without family around, there were a lot of free moments!) consumed in everything gastric bypass, but the obssession with it was plunging me into a funk and I am not all that prone to funks. I stewed over the drastic-ness of this decision and worried about what if something went wrong. What if I died? Was there any medical knowledge of what happens to these patients twenty years down the road?
The unanswered questions that no one can answer were really getting to me and plunging me into a place the last three days where sleep was my only escape from my own mind. Then thankfully, I was able to talk to someone who had been where I am and just being able to voice my frustrations and confusion to someone else helped to alleviate some of what I have been feeling.
No, I still don't have answers, but I am back on the wagon today. I don't have to make any rash decisions because even if I decided to go ahead with the surgery, it is a six month "structured diet process." So, I'm stepping away from those thoughts right now and dealing with the business of just keeping on keeping on. I am not sold on surgery being the right option for me as I can't seem to reconcile it with myself physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually, however, being fat is also not the right option for me.
So, I'm just trying to find the answers and in the meantime, getting back up and dusting myself off and making the effort to live healthy once more.
So, I'm just trying to find the answers and in the meantime, getting back up and dusting myself off and making the effort to live healthy once more.
That's what it's all about -- the effort. There's always a chance of falling off the wagon and making bad decisions here and there, but if you're making that effort more often than you're NOT making the effort, you will see progress.
I never saw surgery as an option. I'm not judging people who do it. I mostly didn't consider it because I'm a wimp and I refuse to be cut open unless I absolutely HAVE to be cut open. And I just don't see weight loss surgery as a necessary thing, at least for me. But I didn't have any medical problems that were keeping me from losing weight. The only thing stopping me was myself. I knew what to do. So I did it. I know it sounds too simple, but it really is. You either do it or you don't. You make choices every day, and they're either choices that lead to a better you or choices that lead to more struggles down the road.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope above all that you keep posting and reading posts here at 3FC, because I think that's a BIG predictor of success!
I've missed seeing you around here lately. No matter what route you choose, please know that we are behind you 100% and are always here to talk with you.
This is such an agonizing decision. Either way, it's a tough, tough process. I have never seriously considered weight loss surgery because I have never been in a position to be able to afford it, but I completely understand the comfort of doing something that's proven to be successful for so many. What a great gift that six month window is, though. Before you make a drastic, life-altering decision, you have the opportunity to grow and ponder what it is you really want. My dad is considering the lapband, so I have spent some time on the WLS forum here at 3FC, and have learned so much. If you haven't tried that forum, they seem just as welcoming of questions as these wonderful 100-lb. clubbers. Regardless of how you decide to tackle this issue, though, we look forward to having you as an active part of our community - both giving and receiving support.
I have to say that I would be surprised that any body who weighs over 300 lbs (or near it) hasn't at least had a passing thought about weight loss surgery. I had a few passing thoughts when I was stuck in the lower to mid 300s and kept bouncing between 330 and 350. I never seriously thought about it so I can't say I know exactly where you are but I think all of us have had that feeling of desperation.
No matter if you do go the route of surgery or not, trying to get a handle on your health will only help you further down the road. The struggle is hard and we understand it but take it one step at a time, one day at a time.
I have absolutely no comments on the surgery. It is such an individual decision! That has to be your call. For me, it isn't an option for a variety of reasons.
I just wanted to say that I have also missed "hearing" from you. Please stay with us and let us be there to support you! You also have a lot to give to others, so please keep posting!
We don't always need all the answers in order to institute a change and make a difference. Sometimes that light will shine bright just from "doing".
I'm sorry that you're having such a rough go of it. Surgery is a tough decision and should be thought through totally and completely. I'm glad to hear while looking for "answers" you are back on track. One day at a time. One meal at a time if need be. One good habit and then another. Get through the day. String together those good habits and those good days.
Never give up. Keep plugging away. You never know which day will be the one where the "light bulb" will go on for you. You only need one time to be successful. Only one. You've already come far, just a little further - it's right there within your grasp. Take a good look. You DO have it within you.
Please continue posting daily. So many of us find it so valuable. I think it can be the same for you. We've got some great daily threads to help keep you accountable and "aware". It's so important to be aware of what we're doing in the food department. It's all too easy to veer off track. The ONE reason thread. The Accountabily/planning thread. The "What's for Dinner thread". Get involved. Get excited. Because you CAN do this. You most absolutely CAN. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.
Do what is right for you. I have never considered the surgery for myself. I think because I know my weight is really a mental and emotional issue. I know that although the surgery might help me lose the pounds it would not solve the reasons why I got to where I am at now.
Alternatively, I know 3 people who have had it done. Two of the people were basically told by doctors that they would die within a year if they didn't do something. I know for sure one of them was required to lose some weight and maintain the loss before the doctor would approve the surgery.
Really though...you just have to read up, think, and decide what will be best for you.
Surgery is something you only you can decide about for yourself, but whatever decision you make, we're all here to support you as best we can.
As someone before me said, it truly is all about the effort. Losing weight through conventional methods takes effort, surgical intervention takes effort, heck, just getting out of bed in the morning takes effort!
No matter what decision you make, I wish you the very best. 3FC is the best place I think you could possibly be.
Thanks everyone. It's been a difficult couple of weeks but I do feel a bit more centered today. I'm so blessed to have this place to come to and all of you to talk to!
Kimberly, I could get the surgery for free from my insurance. As a matter of fact, my doctor offered it to me. I haven't copletely ruled it out, but it's getting less and less attractive to me. First of all, I went to an info class at the hospital that does the surgery, and the instuctor told us some things that gave me pause. First, 2/3 of the people who get the surgery (2 kinds, roux-n-y and lapband) either fail to lose much at all, or gain it all back (and more). So it seems to me that if I can't lose and maintain the loss without surgery, I won't be able to do it after surgery either. Second, dumping sounds hideous beyond words. Then there was a description of what happens if
I swallow, say, a bit of meat I haven't remembered to chew 30 times: it gets stuck in the outlet and I go to the emergency room, where they snake some tool down my throat and through the pouch to the anastamosis, grab the food, and haul it back out. Oh, and I'm awake while they do this. And no coffee ever again (or alcohol either, not a problem for me since I don't drink anyway) or anything carbonated ever again. So I decided to give this a good try, knowing that others have succeeded beyond their most hopeful expectations. Suddenly I'm a LOT more patient that I was before I really investigated Kaiser's experience with post-surgery patientsl. YMMV, of course, and people do succeed with the surgery too, but I am not ready to give up on doing it the old fashioned way yet. My pylorus and I have been together a long time. I would prefer to keep it and am dedicating myself to making this work.
Accountability
