luflic, thanks for the tip-I love mochas! Will have to look around.
I always say that I am not "getting my hopes up" or such, but usually I do. I keep building them up and up. Just found out that there are no apartments left in this building. The truth is, I am devastated. Is silly, but I am. So now I have two days to find and secure an apartment, find movers, blah blah blah. Just is lousy. I hate change so much and staying in the same building would have made it a little easier, you know? Who knows where I will end up now. I am just so tired. So tired of all of it. I just want it to be over. Why does it have to be hard either way? Is it not bad enough that I am not welcome in my marriage? I can not stay and can not go. Like, it just is hard enough to deal with the whole thing like having to leave. Hurts and breaks my heart twice a minute. But, at least make it easy to go. I just want a place to call home. It just feels so unfair. And I know no one ever said life was fair, but it is sad to be a good person and obey rules and give your heart and such and it just seems like everything is working against me. I think the whole situation is just hitting me hard right now. I know it sounds selfish, but I just feel like nothing good is happening like I have no luck and nothing on my side. I know that there are a lot of people in situations which would make this look so silly, but to me it is everything. My world is gone and my marriage is gone and I do not want to move on but have to, so why can I not catch a break? Why can I never walk to a crosswalk and not have the little red hand start flashing before I reach it? Why do machines always take my quarters? Just feel like I have been living one long bad day for months or years now. . . And am so sick of hearing that it "will all work out" and that there is karma and that everything is for a reason and everything will be okay. What really hurts and is so confusing is that I really really want to hate my husband, but I do not and it would make it soooo much easier if I could. Am glad to be walking to work in a few minutes. Not that I want to be at work, but the walk will be nice. Another thing that is really getting to me is that two of our cats are going to stay with him. I love them so much and hate that I will not see them again. </vent>
Steph... volunteering at a local church or community center is a great way to socialize!
HH... honey, you sound like you're about to implode. I know you've said you aren't depressed, but it sure sounds like it. You don't have to be sad all the time to be suffering from depression. I'm going to suggest again that you seek some sort of counseling or at least try to connect with someone close by. Please. And you've told us that your family doesn't know about the divorce, but maybe if you tell them they'll be of some help (whether financial or emotional or both).
I know this is none of my business and you certainly don't have to answer this question here, but if your husband wants out of the marriage, why on earth are YOU the one looking for a new home? Is he offering any financial help? Why isn't he helping with any of this? Apparently, it wasn't your idea to end the marriage, so you shouldn't be the one doing everything and worrying about everything. Don't you have a lawyer to be your advocate? It seems to me that the person who's walking out on a marriage should be the one who has to get out. And why on earth would he get to keep your cats? If you don't have some reprsentation in all this, you should try to get some. Just from the little bit you've told us, it seems you're getting the raw end of the deal and your husband has no concern for your well being at all. You need people on your side.
I don't want to over stpe my bounds or anything but... I was going to type the exact thing Maggie did. Why are you the one leaving? Why is there a time limit?
Maggie is right you need someone to protect your rights. It may not be cheap, but you need to protect yourself. If he wants out kick his butt to the curb. That's my opinion. I'm sorry to be so blunt. I want to support you and I know this is hard and not something I have to deal with so I can't speak from experience. But sweetie, this isn't right. Life isn't always fair and divorce is rarley pretty. But I don't see why you are getting such a bad deal. He obviously has family to pressure and support him. Perhaps, even if the call will be hard your family can help. I don't know them or the situation, but you need someone in your corner. Perhaps just call a lawyer and see where to begin?
I'm still feeling yucky. OMG today I almost threw up at work because we had like 3 patients in a row who decided it was a good idea to bathe in old lady perfume today. I go through weird phases like this where I cant handle strong smells, and just feel not good. Hopefully it will pass soon, cause its getting annoying!
I had a piece of cake today that I made for 2 co workers (its their bday) and it was soooo good. I have no idea how many points it is, but I just figured 5 lol
I think I may have lost another pound, my official weigh in isn't until Friday, so I'll have to wait till then to move my ticker.
I didn't get up and exercise this morning I reset my alarm and slept in that extra 20 mins. I've been sooo tired on top of feeling sick to my stomach, I cant seem to get enough sleep! I did walk on my lunch today though, for about 10 mins.
I've never actually been to a meeting. All the info I've gotten is from friends, family members and co workers, and the internet I've never actually joined WW, and I'm still doing pretty good
I'm with Maggie & Misty on this one. If your husband is the one wanting to get out of the marriage, looks like he could leave & you could stay in your apartment. He probably has more resources than you do. You sound so emotionally down & out right now, that it is not a good time to run blindly around and make decisions. I know what I'm talking about, been thru it, too. I wish that I would have had some older (ahem!) and possibly wiser people to support me. I know, it's easy for us to say you should do this or that. But when you have lived as long as I have, I know a lot of things that don't work. Ok, I'll climb down off the soapbox now.
Hang in there, girl, you're in my thoughts & prayers.
HH... honey, you sound like you're about to implode. I know you've said you aren't depressed, but it sure sounds like it. You don't have to be sad all the time to be suffering from depression.
hehe I was thinking the same thing while I was writing that. Was like aww man I had better stop thinking before I implode! And then gee and I told them I am not depressed. hehb Just have major mood swings.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieShines
And you've told us that your family doesn't know about the divorce, but maybe if you tell them they'll be of some help (whether financial or emotional or both).
The situation is too complicated. And if they knew, I would have to fight with all my strength not to move back home and take a major step back in my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieShines
I know this is none of my business and you certainly don't have to answer this question here, but if your husband wants out of the marriage, why on earth are YOU the one looking for a new home?
I would not be able to afford this place, so I am moving to a cheaper place. He might end up doing the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieShines
Is he offering any financial help? Why isn't he helping with any of this? Apparently, it wasn't your idea to end the marriage, so you shouldn't be the one doing everything and worrying about everything.
Hehe, calm down! Do not get more upset than me lol.He is helping with the deposit and the movers. Once things are done legally, I will probably request alimony of some sort if I am eligible.
[QUOTE=MaggieShines]Don't you have a lawyer to be your advocate? [/quote]
Oh, honey, I barely have enough money to buy soap, a lawyer is out of the question (and the marriage itself is deep in debt, as well. . .so neither does he).
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieShines
And why on earth would he get to keep your cats?
Well, together we have five cats. Two were mine before we married and one was his before we married. We adopted two others. So, he is keeping "his" cat and the second adopted cat because they are very close to each other. I really really will miss them because I have spent so much time with them and such and really had to fight hard to get the second one, but would not want to separate them. Are there visitation rights for cats? ;(
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieShines
Just from the little bit you've told us, it seems you're getting the raw end of the deal and your husband has no concern for your well being at all. You need people on your side.
You know, I thought I was getting the raw end of the deal, but hey. . .he will be losing me, so. . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by MistySeptember
Why is there a time limit?
I did not want to look for apartments until I could afford to live there on my own, so I waited until I got a job and then boom. . .end of the month. There is also a very very vindictive, heartless, cruel, and bossy mother-in-law involved. I have been so patient and courteous with her, but she is coming up in August and I would rather not face her again in person. Would have a very good chance of losing my temper. The time limit sucks, but in a way I do not want it to be any longer. And although we were mostly peacefully working on it, with the MIL involved everything is suddenly legalities and such like the lease is in his name, blah blah. Do not even want to get into it. That wretched woman has hurt both of us countless times, it is very sad that he even trusts her after everything, but I just do not want to fight. I know that is wimpy, but would rather be in my own place and wimpy than battling wretched people. Besides, even if I could afford this place, I am not sure I would want it. I love the view (you can see the Rockies from here!), but my husband smokes inside the apartment and it would always stink like that. It is a "used" apartment heh.
Lizzy, ooooh I hate that! I have times when I am super sensitive to smells, as well. I can not go near the laundrymat or through an aisle with soaps at a grocery store.
Well my night was 50/50. On the way to work, I got a slushie thingy that I am looking up the points for now. It was on sale and I was so thirsty. I resisted the temptation to buy anything on my dinner break, because I knew I would be hungry when I got home either way. Also resisted the urge to try a frozen hot chocolate which sounds soooo good.
At work, I overheard my boss inviting two girls to her birthday party this weekend. I automatically thought, "ugh what am I going to buy?" but after listening to her invite all of my co-workers she did not invite me. Everyone else is newer than me, too. Geeeeee. Just felt like I was in high school again. Then, one guy that temps there told me about a vacancy in his building. Now, I was not exactly thrilled because I am not fond of him. We talked quite a bit about two weeks ago and then he asked me out. I said no, but politely. Then later on he was asking about cats because his wife wants one. Anyway, the apartment building is pretty close to this one which means close to transit and such, so the idea began to grow and grow on me on the walk home (which was 2 hours earlier than normal because we met our quota). But of course, of course!, when I got to the building, the building manager told me the guy that I had passed when going into her office had just signed the lease for the last available apartment. It is like fate is trying, but keeps missing, you know? Oh, we have to help hippo get this apartment, so let her out of work two hours early! Oops, I guess we should have let her out two and a half hours early. My fairy godmother is as unorganized as me!
The coffee chain has a website but no nutrition information. Need a good guesser. . .for about 12 oz. . ."a refreshing combination of premium fruit juice and organic tea blended with ice". So, mostly fruit juice. Can anyone guesstimate the points?
lol 
I reset my alarm and slept in that extra 20 mins. I've been sooo tired on top of feeling sick to my stomach, I cant seem to get enough sleep! I did walk on my lunch today though, for about 10 mins. 
HH,
My fairy godmother is as unorganized as me!
Need a good guesser. . .for about 12 oz. . ."a refreshing combination of premium fruit juice and organic tea blended with ice". So, mostly fruit juice. Can anyone guesstimate the points?
