ravotrina, I think you could use a big
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I lost my aunt, grandfather and grandmother to cancer and my mom was diagnosed with cancer a year and a half ago. I know how sad and helpless you must feel right now. Please make sure you talk to people about this. It's great that you decided to post this here. I bet you will get a lot of great support. It's so important to vent and let some of those feelings out.
As hard as it can be, please take care of yourself during this trying time. When I found out my mom was sick I totally let myself fall into terrible habits. I was emotional eating all the time and I completely stopped going to the gym. Looking back, it was such a terrible thing to do. I could have been working off the stress instead of sitting at home eating tons of sugar and caffeine and giving myself headaches. Right now I'm trying to work off all those pounds I gained and it's such a challenge.
Anyway, please know that you always have someone here who will listen if you need it. Take care