Yesterday was on odd day. A very odd day. For some reason, I just could NOT get full. It wasn't the "Oh, I'm bored so let's eat" hunger, it was the "I'm going to shut down if I don't get some food!!!" hunger. My stomach literally hurt because I was so hungry and I couldn't understand it. I still can't.
I've been eating regularly, every 2-3 hours. It's normal, I keep my portions down because of it. On wednesday I'd ended the day with a nice, big turkey sandwich (on whole wheat) and some popcorn to make sure I wouldn't get hungry at 5am (as I sometimes do, but I always resist the urge to eat at that point). I wasn't hungry at 8am on Thursday, so I didn't eat. 9 and 10 passed me by, and my stomach then started to feel a little something. So I grabbed my trusty popcorn, since I don't have many other lower-cal foods in the hosue. It satisfied me, so I didn't eat a meal until 11:30. I had homemade vegetable beef soup, two cups of it! Really really filling stuff, right?
Wrong.
By the end of the bowl (which I took half an hour to consume), I had the same feeling of satisfaction as if I'd eaten a few crackers. I felt as if I'd eaten almost nothing. Why in the world would that happen? I shrugged it off, drank some more water to help fill the gap and walked for half an hour.
Half an hour after my walk, I couldn't resist the urge for food anymore. I raided the cabinets, searching for anything that I thought would satisfy my hunger. I see cheez-its, chocolate, NUTELLA (oh, the bane of my existence!), bagel chips, and oh... what do you know! I saw some yogurt-burst cheerios. I thought, ****, of all the foods in here, I guess cheerios are about as good as I can do. So I got a cup of cheerios and ate them plain, one by one. I figured that if nothing else, it would at least help me pass the time more slowly than if I munched on a bunch of chocolate, and maybe my body would get full. 20 minutes and I finally had eaten the whole cup.
My stomach growled loudly. What the heck! I sat in bed, watching Star Trek: The Next Generation, hoping the feeling would pass. Pain in my stomach, hunger pain, began. "Listen to your body!" I thought. Okay. Raid the cabinets again... PEACHES! We have canned peaches, in 100% juice! So I had peaches. Okay, not just peaches, I had peaches with some oats, a little brown sugar and a dash of cinnamon on top. I baked that concoction for about 15 minutes until it got hot and the sugar had carmelized.
But what did I do while I was waiting? I paced the room, then raided the cabinets again. I found raisins. I carefully measured out a quarter of a cup, then ate them as slowly as I could make myself. Which I'll admit wasn't very slowly.
Peaches done, yes! I eat the whole thing. An entire can of peaches. And what do you know? I'M STILL HUNGRY!!!
By now, I'm really wondering what the heck is up with my body. I ignored the hunger for a couple hours, drank more water, paced the house, watched tv, used the computer. Tried to just keep my mind off of food. I finally broke down again and prepared my tuna patties. Tuna patties are made from a can of tuna, drained, mixed with an egg and two tablespoons of flavored bread crumbs, fried. I hadn't made them since I'd started this journey, because I didn't want to eat a bunch of oil. I used PAM instead, to make myself feel a little better. I ate the tuna patties.
You know the drill. I was still hungry.
By this time, my boyfriend was home and I was talking to him, explaining this whole situation. He had no idea what was going on either, but said that if I wasn't over my calorie limit (which I wasn't) that I should eat until I was full. Obviously my body wanted something that I wasn't giving it.
Raid the cabinets again. I finally settled on a tablespoon of peanut butter on whole wheat bread. I ate it slowly and carefully, hoping that it would satisfy me because my calories would then have run out. And I sure as heck did NOT want to go over.
Well what do you know... I was full. Turns out, all my body wanted the entire day was some peanut butter. Why? No clue. But after a single piece of bread and a single tablespoon of pb, I was completely satisfied. I didn't need or want anything else.
Sorry for the super-long post, but I really just wanted to collect my thoughts. I'm still no closer to figuring out why my body wanted peanut butter, but I guess I'll be more likely to look to it in the future when I feel the way I did yesterday!
Avoiding disaster
