For what it's worth I don't think anyone should waste their time pursuing romantic relationships. There is too much living to do! Don't close the door on it either. Happiness is within.
I face the same issues at work -- not with interviews, but with general meals. I'm traveling again and I will be facing probably eating at some amazing restaurants and the last thing I want to order is the salad with a protein.
I think the appetizer idea is great with a green salad on the side. I may try that myself. I know that I have to get out of the pattern that just because I am at a restaurant (and with someone else footing the bill) that I have to eat everything that's placed in front of me. It doesn't help that I work with a lot of men who also don't seem to worry about weight (they are all thin, so no, they really don't worry).
I do have a meal or two planned with women, who are weight conscious so I am hoping they will rub off on me.
Re: Your Love Life
I agree that this is something that you will figure out on your own. Nothing in this world (except stupid society) tells us that we must be with a boyfriend. And I have been lucky to have friends who don't have one and even if they wanted one, they accepted that their level of requirements for a guy made finding him impossible, so they are happy alone, with their friends and pets. I think if you find that acceptance (and ask yourself if you need to "find someone" is truly your need or just a perceived need because society is telling you this is the case) then you may never have to deal with this.
The friends (and it's more than one!) that have resigned themselves to not finding anyone are happy. They may have their moments of loneliness but I think everyone does -- even those in relationships. But in the end, the life they have built is bringing them happiness and satisfaction and when you are on your deathbed, I think everyone will value the happiness they felt during their life, however you found that.
Having a boyfriend, husband, romantic partner is not a guarantee of anything.
ask yourself if you need to "find someone" is truly your need or just a perceived need because society is telling you this is the case
This is a very good point. When I was 18 and desperate to have a boyfriend, I remember thinking to myself: "If I didn't feel this external pressure, I wouldn't really care. It would never occur to me to look for a boyfriend if society didn't tell me I should need and have one."
This is a very good point. When I was 18 and desperate to have a boyfriend, I remember thinking to myself: "If I didn't feel this external pressure, I wouldn't really care. It would never occur to me to look for a boyfriend if society didn't tell me I should need and have one."
F.
I often feel this way now, and I'm 33. I have my moments, though, when I feel a little bit of panic creep up knowing that it's a long process and there's trial and error that needs to happen before one ends up happy. I don't want to be alone when I'm 60, and I just hope that all this time I haven't been pursuing anything, it's not like I've been wasting all that "trial & error" time, if that makes sense.
My desire for affection and companionship is not "perceived." It is perhaps even more acute due to never having experienced it.
I'm not a middle-aged woman with a history of troubled relationships or over-selectivity in romantic choices. I'm a 40-year-old woman who in her entire life has never one single real relationship despite great effort to develop one. Wanting to experience something that's considered a normal part of human life is actually quite healthy on my part. I can live with it never happening, but please trust there's nothing suspect or unexamined in my motives.
Last edited by Violette_R; 03-06-2015 at 10:32 AM.
ETA: Came back to edit so I don't sound like quite such a d!ck. That's really not the problem and if you knew me you would trust that's the case. I appreciate you took the time to read and respond but I am not seeking "magic cures" as I know they don't exist.
Just wanted to add that your intelligence and insight come through loud and clear in your posts. And you're a good writer. I hope this doesn't sound too rah-rah, but surely there are some awesome uses for these gifts. I sincerely hope you find them.
First lunch was today. They changed the venue at the last minute. None of the appetizers looked appetizing (WTH? Appetizing is right in the name!) and the restaurant was freezing so I just couldn't get interested in salad. So I had a cup of soup and half a fish sandwich, only to have it turn it the fish was battered and fried. But I estimated calories using MyFitnessPal and I think the small portion size kept the lunch just under 600 calories, which is OK.
Last edited by Violette_R; 03-06-2015 at 04:21 PM.
