First, to address JohnP's comments and, specifically his implication about your statement "...if I ban one thing out of my diet I know I'll have a harder time with being successful." While I do see hesitation in some of what Danielle has said, that particular comment does not inherently fit it. For some people, there is no other way than cutting out certain foods. For others, denying them the ability to have particular foods is actually detrimental to success. Particularly right out of the starting gate. I can guarantee you that if I had ever told myself I could never again have a type of food I love - grains, cheese, chocolate, potatoes, whatever - I'd never see success because at that point, I would be forcing myself to follow a diet rather than encouraging myself to embrace a lifestyle change. Diets come and go. Your eating habits cannot follow a dieting pattern or you are likely to find that you will be unable to maintain your losses in the long run because most people are going to eventually run into a day where they want to indulge and it's likely to lead to binging. Binging leads to guilt. Guilt is counter-productive to physical, mental, and emotional health. It's just the way it is.
That being said, I do agree that in some ways it seems as though you're reluctant to commit, Danielle. I understand your stress. This January, I found myself abandoned by a husband who was never able to commit to our marriage. In April, my grandmother passed away. I'm currently living in my brother's spare bedroom and working a part-time job that doesn't pay enough to make even a dent in the debts I'm trying to pay off. I'm struggling to find a second job, fighting to get my soon-to-be ex-husband to sign the divorce papers, attempting to get back on my feet, and trying to help balance the stress in the lives of several other family members. You know what else I'm doing? I'm focusing on me and I'm losing the weight.
The bottom line is that you have a desire to change, but you need to decide if you also have the drive. You need to sit down and figure out what the first step is that you'd like to take in this journey. Do you want to start by adjusting your eating habits? Or do you want to force yourself to make time to exercise by walking one of your dogs every day? The first thing I would suggest is to find a website or app and start logging your food. And do it honestly! Don't kid yourself about the numbers. Do the math. I realize that calorie counting isn't something people like to think about having to do. It can be almost as disheartening as the thought of cutting out foods altogether. But here's the thing - you need to figure out where you stand when it comes to your food consumption. You need to figure out if you eat too much or too little. You need to examine the nutritional numbers. Is your fat way out of proportion to your protein? Is your sodium in excess of 2500-3000 mgs? Are you getting enough fiber?
Once you've figured out where your eating habits stand, you'll be better equipped to start adjusting them as need be. If you bring your calories in line with where they should be and find that you're not losing inches or pounds, then you can start looking deeper. Logging your food as well as keeping some sort of journal will also help you identify whether or not you binge and what events or emotions trigger it. Knowing your triggers will allow you to acknowledge them and combat the desire to over-indulge. At that point, it all comes down to willpower and self-discipline.
I know a lot of people put off adding exercise until they've already lost some weight. This is something that I am avidly opposed to. I'm not saying go out and immediately start some crazy exercise program. Start with something simple. Make a point of walking, say, 30 minutes a day, for example. Or do a small monthly fitness challenge - start attempting 5 pushups (or as many as you can manage) and add one pushup a day for 30 days - allowing for a rest day on every 5th day. If you can't seem to make the time to do it for yourself, find an outside source to get you started.
For me, that first day getting back into an exercise plan when I've put myself aside and let others - and my depression and stress - take over have always been the hardest. What makes it even more frustrating is the fact that I know - I always know - that once I start working out, I get this major boost of confidence in what I can accomplish in all aspects of my life. It doesn't solve my problems and it doesn't eliminate my stress, but it helps. On this most recent journey, getting started proved a little easier because of my wonderful dog, Luna. She's about 70 lbs of Great Pyrenees x Border Collie and that baby girl needs her exercise. I made the decision to walk her around a small loop every day to ensure she was getting it. So, really, I started walking for her. The benefits I gained were a bonus. That first little loop was only about .375 miles, but within a week, I made the brave choice to walk the entire loop around the lake behind where I live. It turns out that big loop is 1.769 miles and I walk it every day. In the last month and a half or so, I've only not walked the entire loop twice and both of those times, I felt so guilty about shorting her on her walk that I've turned around and walked her the full loop twice the next day to make up for it. Recently, I've added the little loop and the big loop together bringing our daily walk to 2.144 miles. My point is - I started walking for her. If I skip, I feel guilty for shorting her and it keeps me from letting myself make excuses. So if you need a motivator to get you started, use one of those furry babies. Then you can start adding in all the other exercises that you'll come to love.
I apologize that was uncalled for and I have deleted my post.
I am in no way minimizing the stress of dealing with a sick loved one. I personally could not deal with everything all at once in the same circumstances. Some can but not me.
Here is a very sincere suggestion. If you're not ready, just work on maintaining for a while. Become caloricly aware. I personally think that counting every bite is quite tedious but I did track with zealotry for a short period and what I found out is it doesn't matter to the penny but it does matter to the pound. A cookie is meaningless. A box is meaningful.
Remember to take care of yourself mentally. Support groups are not only for people who have cancer but also for family members.
I think that's a wonderful suggestion, John! With all the stress she might be under it might be better for her mentally to focus first on stopping the gain and then on reversing it. I hadn't even thought about trying to maintain for a while first.
A lot of people feel that way about counting. Before I started doing it, I was the same way. My problem is that if I don't track it, I don't eat enough. I often will sit down and check my numbers before leaving for work, where I usually don't eat anything because I work from 9pm-1am, and I'll realize that I haven't even broken 1000 calories. Sadly, eating too little can be about as bad as eating too much... in some ways, worse.
Again, excellent advice. And, Danielle, here's to hoping things improve all around for yourself and your family.
Wow, you have a lot going on. I'm sorry to hear about your mother. My 2 cents would be to first free up whatever time you can, maybe taking a break from fostering, if possible. It may be too much to try to focus on weight loss at the moment. I'd suggest trying to eat healthy foods as much as possible, whether or not you also eat the crap--sometimes that's the go-to when you are spending time at a hospital. Ironic, huh
It's hard to suggest meals without knowing your preferences, so please feel free to tell us a little about what you like and don't like.
Here's my routine to make sure I have healthy things available at all times. It doesn't take any thinking, just shopping and a little prep:
Shop regularly--I go to the store at least twice/week to get salad ingredients & fresh produce. Nothing elaborate. Apples are coming in season now. Staples like oil, nuts, dairy, etc. Protein: canned kidney beans, chicken, for example. (Cook it once a week and put in baggies for individual portions, freeze some).
Also protein shakes or Quest bars are nice treats that are filling and don't make you crave more sweets. (Muscle Milk lite, Designer Whey shake are my favorites shakes).
I have enough containers and a big nylon cooler that can hold lunch and dinner, so I can out for a day or even more and pack my own food. Everyday I assemble a big lunch salad with protein & a few nuts. For dressing I have a small water-tight vial from Container Store, or Walden Farms individual packet. Dinner is a piece of chicken with vegetables, a little oil. I love to douse the chicken with garlic powder and broil. Or just add some Walden Farms sugar free BBQ sauce, or simply a little mustard or balsamic vinegar/olive oil.
Not sure if you've tried protein bars, but I have those on hand for the times when I'm craving sweet. A lot of them are kinda gross, but I've found a handful that I really enjoy and taste like a treat rather than something pretty balanced in the protein/carb/fat/calorie counts. Personally I like the Oh Yeah! brand (good grab bars) and Power Crunch wafer cookies, but there are a ton to try and pick from. Atkins bars are mostly good tasting and are pretty low in the carb area though they do go a little heavier on the fat since that's in line with the Atkins plan. I have the Atkins shakes now and then for a quick breakfast when I'm short on time (I like the Mocha Latte, Strawberry, French Vanilla and Caramel Latte flavors).
Real food is always best though I think. The less pre-packaged, the better. Just cutting out processed foods helped me quite a lot when I started out.
And I agree 100% with the poster who was in favor of adding exercise. I've found that after doing something physical, my mood improves - that might be one way to help relieve some of your stress even if for just a little while. I've read stress can release some sort of chemical/hormone into your system that actually can cause weight gain/retention so I'm all for sweating my problems away a little at a time
