berryblondeboys, I wonder how often you weigh yourself. Would it be easier to do it less often? Maybe the downward trend won't be so muffled by all the hormone-related shifts. Your triple-whammy sounds like a doozy! Glad you're feeling better. There IS life after menopause.
For what it's worth, my experience has been that while I gain weight more easily, losing is about the same rate as before. (Most recent loss & first time ever reaching goal wt. was age 59-60). Perimenopause was mercifully short : )
No... I dont like the "not in the know" feel. I prefer daily weighing as it helps me figure out trends.
Like, it would totally bum me out to weigh once a week or month and see let's say - 225 at the beginning of the month and 221 at the end of the month where I felt I was being TOTALLLLLLY on point. How could I know if that 221 at the end of the month was a current upward trend or a current low trend, or on point? What if next day I would have stepped on the scale and it said 219? That's two pounds I lost, but didnt' "see". And seeing helps me.
I just wish I had more predictability, but less weighing doesn't erase the unpredictability.
Mars touched on what I was going to say. I've been a daily weigher, even during pregnancy, almost this entire journey. But I discovered something funky - after maintenance breaks I couldn't use the scale the same way again! I was subconsciously adjusting my eating upward if I had a good loss and downward if I had a high weight morning, and it was sabotaging my losses. It turns out that when I need to lose more than two pounds I do much, much better putting the scale away for a week or three and spending the time focusing just on behaviors - sticking to my plan as well as I can. Then I am pretty much always guaranteed a nice weigh in and it doesn't feed my maintenance habits (a which can essentially amount to self sabotage when you're trying to lose as opposed to maintain).
So from one daily weigher to another, my very best advice is putting away the scale and focusing on the things you CAN control - your food intake and lifestyle habits - and ignore the thing you can't control (the scale) for a few weeks. I was resistant initially but it's been a great decision for me. And then when I'm in my maintenance range I get back to daily weighing to stay there and it works out nicely.
Ah, I missed your response. And I see a bit of a problem - why is losing 'only' four pounds in a month a discouraging thing? Why would it matter if it was higher or lower on the next day? It will generally trend downward over the course of a few months if you're on point and bounce around if you're overly high on carbs/calories/stress for losing weight. But one potential flaw in your thinking that may have been partially responsible for your regain is the attitude of "go big or go home".
Maybe reframing your thoughts whereby any loss is excellent and holding steady is good enough might give you a healthier, kinder perspective on the process and one that doesn't lead to self sabotage. Figuring out WHY you went certain numbers as validation of your efforts may do you good. I know I've benefitted from doing an obscene amount of head digging, especially recently as I've had great losses followed by real difficulty staying on plan. It turns out that even having it all figured out, so to speak, and maintaining successfully, doesn't mean that these things can't pop back up into our thinking and cause problems. So it may be time to tear apart some presuppositions and see if that doesn't help you out a bit
That's a really interesting phenomenon you've identified, Taryl, with the daily weighing altering behavior slightly. I wonder if I've had some of that going on.
Melissa, I've been trying something that I picked up from another poster here (wish I remembered who). I'm telescoping my focus on 2-lb chunks at a time. It keeps up motivation - my goal at any time is just to lose another 0.6 or 1.8 at most. I used to have a regular pattern of loss to look to as well, but in the absence of that, the 2-lb segments are replacing that sense of structure for me. I'm not following a calendar-driven sense of expectation, just constantly on the look-out for new downward lows and hitting the 2 lb goal. That approach might not be exactly relevant, but maybe there's something in there about finding another way to frame your expectations/aspirations differently than what you used to be able to expect?
Arctic mama- I guess I am sort of in a "lets get this off" mode. I put it on so fast and I don't want to be at these weights for long but while I have that half of my brain se ding me that message, I have the other half telling me its not a race and that it shouldn't matter how fast it comes off as long as it comes off.
And I need to weight daily. My history has been if I weigh daily, even if it goes up, I still stick to it. The problem has always been when I stopped weighing. I give myself more leeway when I don't step on the scale frequently.
Then that's what you must do for your particular body, obviously . Now the trick is just dissociating the number from your success or failure. Easily said and necessary, but hard to actually practice. Worthwhile for lifelong success, though!
I found it easier to lose weight after menopause than at any other time. Last time I dieted (calorie counting) I was amazed at how linear it was. I only weighed weekly but I could always count on a nice loss each week. I was also exercising regularly.
Aging does have its compensations, believe it or not!
Well this helps explain a lot! .I spend all of my time with boys or post menopausal women. This explains to some degree why my cycle is waaaay out of whack! There's no rhyme or reason to it at all. Hormones are off the charts and now I am plateaued. At only 41 I would not think this would be as big am issue but I had one ovary removed and so I think it has an impact. Ughhhh!
Always remember to be process-driven, not results driven. So if you're constantly checking for "improvements" you may not see them. There are other ways to measure progress, like how you feel and how your clothes fit and feeling good about the choices you made. If you trust the process the results will follow, right? I get the impression that if one is constantly tracking the results then they might feel uneasy about the process. Something to think about.
Always remember to be process-driven, not results driven. So if you're constantly checking for "improvements" you may not see them. There are other ways to measure progress, like how you feel and how your clothes fit and feeling good about the choices you made. If you trust the process the results will follow, right? I get the impression that if one is constantly tracking the results then they might feel uneasy about the process. Something to think about.
I definitely trust the process. I'm probably one of the most self-aware people you will ever meet. When, and the when is important, when I'm not in denial mode where I ignore everything. I have figured out why I overeat. What triggers lead to it. How to avoid these triggers, etc.... If I can. And with this big regain I had, I now know even more things to be mindful of - signs of depression slipping in and having a plan if I do start to get depressed.
But results are important too and if anyone talks themselves into thinking they don't care about the results, is well, fooling themselves. Plus, noting results lets you know if you are making progress. If at 235 pounds I don't notice health and weight changes, then something is wrong with the process. I must be eating more than I think or something medically is keeping me from getting results.
Last edited by berryblondeboys; 04-16-2014 at 08:33 AM.
I found it easier to lose weight after menopause than at any other time. Last time I dieted (calorie counting) I was amazed at how linear it was. I only weighed weekly but I could always count on a nice loss each week. I was also exercising regularly.
Aging does have its compensations, believe it or not!
I sure hope so! My mother was completely through menopause at age 42. I'm 44 and while I know having those female hormones working longer are to my long term health benefit, I am also not loving the process of going from fertile to infertile. Mentally, thinking of myself as too old to have kids is weird too. Another thing I don't like is not knowing when my period will strike. It would be so much easier to get caught in prepared.
The last cycle I had, after 3 months of none, was hard and heavy and crampy. I haven't had cramps since before I had kids! I am so ready to be done with this process.
Well this helps explain a lot! .I spend all of my time with boys or post menopausal women. This explains to some degree why my cycle is waaaay out of whack! There's no rhyme or reason to it at all. Hormones are off the charts and now I am plateaued. At only 41 I would not think this would be as big am issue but I had one ovary removed and so I think it has an impact. Ughhhh!
It could explain it. My mom we through menopause at 42.
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Mind if I jump into this conversation? I never really knew when my mother went through menopause. I started with extremely heavy periods around age 50, then they got very light but started coming every 3 weeks for a while and then stopped. I thought I was done. Then lo and behold one month I had a period. This went on for about a year then nothing. When I was younger I was so regular that I could practically tell you the day and the hour it would start. It was terrible not knowing, because I was not one who got cramps.
I definitely trust the process. I'm probably one of the most self-aware people you will ever meet. When, and the when is important, when I'm not in denial mode where I ignore everything. I have figured out why I overeat. What triggers lead to it. How to avoid these triggers, etc.... If I can. And with this big regain I had, I now know even more things to be mindful of - signs of depression slipping in and having a plan if I do start to get depressed.
But results are important too and if anyone talks themselves into thinking they don't care about the results, is well, fooling themselves. Plus, noting results lets you know if you are making progress. If at 235 pounds I don't notice health and weight changes, then something is wrong with the process. I must be eating more than I think or something medically is keeping me from getting results.
I totally agree with all that you say here and do pretty much the same things and have the same preparedness for things going pear-shaped. But that's what you'd hope we'd gain from experiences doing diets and dealing with other life problems and being of a certain age.
(Not that i would ever say i was one of the most self-aware people etc. I am aware enough to know i have blind spots.)
I have certainly noticed over the years since i've done therapy that my periods of depression are shorter, and i get over them faster. And i can avoid a lot of them as well. No doubt by the time i die, if i live to old age, i do die in peak mental condition!
