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Old 04-02-2014, 12:02 AM   #1
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Default Please help me, I'm in a total disaster

I am desperate for help, I haven't weighed myself in 4 months because I fear what number will be on the scale. I was around 250 lbs and losing more weight last summer, I was doing really well. I moved in with my boyfriend up in Canada this December and the weather has been so horrific that I haven't stepped into the gym once this whole time.

There is a huge snow storm as I speak! I am terrified. We do not have a car, and it is not worth taking a bus since it's less time to walk there then to take one.

I am very scared. I could use words of encouragement. I may even be starting to have a panic attack. After months of only being in the apartment & just trying to do 50 squats a day, I fear that I may be larger than I ever have before, and I'm guessing it's around 280 pounds.

I see fat forming in unfamiliar ways, and I know I have gotten larger.

I don't know where to start. I really don't think I can diet again. I am promising myself to walk to the gym tomorrow and do a light work-out. I am going to try to start moving, but a diet is too overwhelming to think about, and it is terrifying.

If anyone can help me, I could really use it.
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:26 AM   #2
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Take it from me, a Canadian - IT'S JUST EFFING SNOW!! lol. We don't get blizzards every day but this winter has been especially brutal and I can definitely understand why anyone wouldn't want to walk in it. This is my first year owning a car and even though I live a 5 minute walk from the gym I have been driving there all winter lol.

BUT for the past 10 years living in Ottawa I bussed/walked everywhere and that meant walking to the gym in sleet and blowing wind in -40 weather when I lived a 20 minute walk from the gym.

It sucks but you do it because you have to.

When you say you're terrified, do you mean you're terrified of the snow? If so, it's really not that bad, you're not gonna die lol so bundle up and get that booty to the gym/don't make excuses for yourself if you think that's what's keeping you from working out.

That all being said, you can do A LOT at home - the internet is chalk full of at home exercises to get your heart pumping that require little to no equipment. I know it's harder to be motivated to work out when the TV and your comfy couch is right there but you have to do it - you have the strength to do it you just have to believe in yourself!

Side bar, where in Canada are you currently living?
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:39 AM   #3
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I think perhaps your mental state is your biggest hindrance currently. First, you don't have to be at the gym to lose weight. You can lose weight easily without exercising. Of course its a good idea to move about but you don't need to go running, go to the gym or any of those other things, particularly when you are at your current weight. I am not exercising on my diet though i do some physical activity. I mow the lawns which is quite physical. and i do a bit of other gardening activities. I also walk about the property a fair but i do spend a lot of my time sitting on my bum at my computer.

Remember weight loss is 80% diet. It doesn't matter if you don't want to start with exercise. You can come to it later when you feel more like it.

When you are depressed and fearful its hard to kick start a diet. In fact, you will have to manage your food intake but you don't have to suffer too much. I don't . IN fact i avoid suffering at all costs.

What you will have to do is eat better food.

What i suggest is working out your current maintenance calories using my fitness pal or similar and eat according to those for about week or until your mood starts to settle down and you start to feel more optimistic.

Cut out whatever it is you are stuffing into your mouth that you know is adding no nutrition and just making you hungry. If that's bread, then cut it out. You can bring it back later. If its sweets, cut it out. If its ice-cream, cut it out. If its takeaways cut it out. if its chips and salsa cut it out. Chuck everything out of the house that falls into this category and don't let it come in. Look the other way or leave the room if someone else is doing it in front of you.

Start making your own food. Minimise buying anything readymade in a packet.

Start your food diary again. List everything. quantities included.

Try to eat mainly three meals a day but if those meals are still quite large, break them down into fewer smaller meals.

I generally try to eat breakfast before 9am, lunch at noon, a glass of wine or some fruit at 4-5pm and a dinner between 6-7pm. And nothing after that.

When i started my diet this time, i put a lot of effort into talking myself into RESOLVE to resist eating the wrong things and overeating. So start working on your resolve. Later on this will be second nature and you won't need to worry so much but i found it helpful at the beginning.

Remember just doing this, you should not be hungry. You are still eating a lot. But if you are hungry it may be because your seratonin levels are still low. Keep eating healthy and they will come back up. When you start feeling normal and well again, start your diet. Start reducing your calorie intake but do not do it by too much. Just plug in a loss of half a pound a week. THERE IS NO HURRY. You will be fine if you do it this way and the weight will fall of you, with ease and without strain.

If you have nothing to do in your life but eat and watch tv, consider trying to find something else interesting to do and fill your life with. Try volunteering. I am doing it one afternoon a week and its good. I've recently taken up sewing and have started a small business. That is good for me though its also been a source of stress. Stress is bad for dieting but i have learnt how to manage it and get over it quickly. When i get stressed, i stop focusing on losing and just make sure i stick to my healthy eating plan.

I weigh myself every day but i don't worry too much about what it says on a daily basis because i know the scales go up and down all the time. There are reason for that.

So when you decide you are ready to try again, come back to this thread and try to follow the ideas i've given you. You will see it works.

When you have nothing else to do, start educating yourself about nutrition. Do not fall for all the diet food fads. There are no miracle foods. They are just trying to get your money.

Read the articles on hormones on the nutrition wonderland website. Read them a few times. Take on board the information they tell you there. I have found the knowledge in those articles on seratonin, leptin, insulin, dopamine and fibre very useful this time. Understanding this stuff helps you make better choices and helps you not to worry so much about the wrong things.

I'll offer you more advice if you want it.

You cannot afford to give up on yourself. You just need to get ready and be willing to change your life. It is possible and its not hard when you know what you are doing.
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:47 AM   #4
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one other important thing to remember: diets don't work.

you need to change the way you think about food and the rest will follow. So don't freak yourself out over words like "diet" - i never consider myself to be on a diet but I am always conscious about what and how i am eating.
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Old 04-02-2014, 12:57 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by kaybee1 View Post
Take it from me, a Canadian - IT'S JUST EFFING SNOW!! lol. We don't get blizzards every day but this winter has been especially brutal and I can definitely understand why anyone wouldn't want to walk in it. This is my first year owning a car and even though I live a 5 minute walk from the gym I have been driving there all winter lol.

BUT for the past 10 years living in Ottawa I bussed/walked everywhere and that meant walking to the gym in sleet and blowing wind in -40 weather when I lived a 20 minute walk from the gym.

It sucks but you do it because you have to.

When you say you're terrified, do you mean you're terrified of the snow? If so, it's really not that bad, you're not gonna die lol so bundle up and get that booty to the gym/don't make excuses for yourself if you think that's what's keeping you from working out.

That all being said, you can do A LOT at home - the internet is chalk full of at home exercises to get your heart pumping that require little to no equipment. I know it's harder to be motivated to work out when the TV and your comfy couch is right there but you have to do it - you have the strength to do it you just have to believe in yourself!

Side bar, where in Canada are you currently living?
Oh! That's a good kick in the butt. And that's what I need haha! I am in Newfoundland! St. John's. Really I am just working myself up for no reason, and you're right, I have plenty at my disposal. I just need to MOVE. It's...like really bad here. I lived in Moscow and I can't even believe the climate here, it's so wild and beautiful but hard for me too!

Thank you so much you brought me back down to earth.
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:04 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pattience View Post
I think perhaps your mental state is your biggest hindrance currently. First, you don't have to be at the gym to lose weight. You can lose weight easily without exercising. Of course its a good idea to move about but you don't need to go running, go to the gym or any of those other things, particularly when you are at your current weight. I am not exercising on my diet though i do some physical activity. I mow the lawns which is quite physical. and i do a bit of other gardening activities. I also walk about the property a fair but i do spend a lot of my time sitting on my bum at my computer.

Remember weight loss is 80% diet. It doesn't matter if you don't want to start with exercise. You can come to it later when you feel more like it.

When you are depressed and fearful its hard to kick start a diet. In fact, you will have to manage your food intake but you don't have to suffer too much. I don't . IN fact i avoid suffering at all costs.

What you will have to do is eat better food.

What i suggest is working out your current maintenance calories using my fitness pal or similar and eat according to those for about week or until your mood starts to settle down and you start to feel more optimistic.

Cut out whatever it is you are stuffing into your mouth that you know is adding no nutrition and just making you hungry. If that's bread, then cut it out. You can bring it back later. If its sweets, cut it out. If its ice-cream, cut it out. If its takeaways cut it out. if its chips and salsa cut it out. Chuck everything out of the house that falls into this category and don't let it come in. Look the other way or leave the room if someone else is doing it in front of you.

Start making your own food. Minimise buying anything readymade in a packet.

Start your food diary again. List everything. quantities included.

Try to eat mainly three meals a day but if those meals are still quite large, break them down into fewer smaller meals.

I generally try to eat breakfast before 9am, lunch at noon, a glass of wine or some fruit at 4-5pm and a dinner between 6-7pm. And nothing after that.

When i started my diet this time, i put a lot of effort into talking myself into RESOLVE to resist eating the wrong things and overeating. So start working on your resolve. Later on this will be second nature and you won't need to worry so much but i found it helpful at the beginning.

Remember just doing this, you should not be hungry. You are still eating a lot. But if you are hungry it may be because your seratonin levels are still low. Keep eating healthy and they will come back up. When you start feeling normal and well again, start your diet. Start reducing your calorie intake but do not do it by too much. Just plug in a loss of half a pound a week. THERE IS NO HURRY. You will be fine if you do it this way and the weight will fall of you, with ease and without strain.

If you have nothing to do in your life but eat and watch tv, consider trying to find something else interesting to do and fill your life with. Try volunteering. I am doing it one afternoon a week and its good. I've recently taken up sewing and have started a small business. That is good for me though its also been a source of stress. Stress is bad for dieting but i have learnt how to manage it and get over it quickly. When i get stressed, i stop focusing on losing and just make sure i stick to my healthy eating plan.

I weigh myself every day but i don't worry too much about what it says on a daily basis because i know the scales go up and down all the time. There are reason for that.

So when you decide you are ready to try again, come back to this thread and try to follow the ideas i've given you. You will see it works.

When you have nothing else to do, start educating yourself about nutrition. Do not fall for all the diet food fads. There are no miracle foods. They are just trying to get your money.

Read the articles on hormones on the nutrition wonderland website. Read them a few times. Take on board the information they tell you there. I have found the knowledge in those articles on seratonin, leptin, insulin, dopamine and fibre very useful this time. Understanding this stuff helps you make better choices and helps you not to worry so much about the wrong things.

I'll offer you more advice if you want it.

You cannot afford to give up on yourself. You just need to get ready and be willing to change your life. It is possible and its not hard when you know what you are doing.
I think my issue is that I'm doing some pretty intense schooling right now, and building my portfolio. I devote myself to this a good 8 hours a day. I find myself working at 9am and getting through barely half around 4pm, when my boyfriend gets home.
I'm putting so much effort and drive into school and my portfolio that I am COMPLETELY neglecting my body and my old habits.
I feel really good about myself after a light work out, so I think going to the gym might boost my confidence.
I think the problem here is that I am so busy I find myself having no time to plan out meals. I cook almost everything I eat, but a lot of it is curry and pasta and my favorite foods.
I am rewarding myself with food and that has to stop, or at least, it needs to decrease. I am making very good grades and I'm so proud of myself and happy that I feel like it gives me rights to eat what ever I want.
It's a weird subconscious "right" I think I have, and I need to do something about it.
But I'll tell you what, I've copied and pasted your comment, and I'm going to follow it. You have helped me greatly, I appreciate your feedback more than you know. Thank you so much.
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:09 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by kaybee1 View Post
one other important thing to remember: diets don't work.

you need to change the way you think about food and the rest will follow. So don't freak yourself out over words like "diet" - i never consider myself to be on a diet but I am always conscious about what and how i am eating.
Thank you. I hate the word diet. I was on a really good track before my semester began, and then it became, eating my favorite cooked snacks while I go really hard studying. It feels so good to hear this from someone!

I know I feel really good when I eat real food. I know how to eat and I need to stop being a slave to crap food that makes my body feel bad.
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Old 04-02-2014, 07:09 AM   #8
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Your post in reply to me is much more positive than your first post gave me to think.

I just want to add, that i do not plan my meals. I might think about the odd meal when i'im shopping at the supermarket. You know i might buy some fish with a particular purpose in mind or this or that vegetable, but generally i don't spend any time planning my meals. But i do find the food diary really helpful.

I don't spend a lot of time cooking either.

I think studying can make you want to eat more.

The only way i can stop being a slave to crap food is to eat regular meals that are of nutritious food.

Maybe you are pushing yourself too hard. In view there is nothing wrong with pasta or curry but if you are eating too much of it then well there's your problem. Maybe you need a bit of a break from all the work. ON the weekends for instance? Its so easy to let study be all consuming.

glad my post helped you a bit.
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:24 AM   #9
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Tell me about it I hate snow!! And I hate cold! And this has been such an awful winter and it doesn't seem to want to end. Normally I don't have a problem going outside for a walk in bad weather but I have a toddler that I take with me in the stroller and well, I can't subject him to 20degree long walks in the park now can I? So I've done a lot of home workouts which are my least favorite kind of work outs (except for cardio machines, god I hate treadmills with a passion).

If you're looking for some support in changing the way you eat but NOT dieting then check out the intuitive eating threads. I feel so much better ever since I stopped dieting and much more in control of my body/mind/food intake. We have a lot of stuff we need to worry about, food shouldn't be one of them.
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:46 AM   #10
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I think we do need to worry about food and overeating when we are threatening our health. Its not trivial.
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Old 04-02-2014, 08:59 AM   #11
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I think we do need to worry about food and overeating when we are threatening our health. Its not trivial.
Worry? Why worry? If there is something we can do about, if we have a plan and we're comfortable with how that plan is going to turn out then what's the use of worrying about it? Worrying is nothing but negativity. Acknowledge the problem, deal with and don't worry about it. That's my motto, worry is the most useless emotion if there ever was one. It accomplishes absolutely nothing! Worrying is what you do when you don't know what to do. I know what to do, so I have nothing to worry about.
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:07 AM   #12
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I meant worry as in concern, i thought that was how you were using the word too.
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:11 AM   #13
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I meant worry as in concern, i thought that was how you were using the word too.
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I think we do need to worry about food and overeating when we are threatening our health. Its not trivial.
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Old 04-02-2014, 09:56 AM   #14
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Yeah seriously, the East has been dumped on this year, extra brutal but it's not always that horrible
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Old 04-02-2014, 10:33 AM   #15
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Bunny,

I was almost exactly where you were a short 11 months ago. A 5 9 guy at 285.

I googled why am I so hungry after a huge fast food meal. My best google of all time. I finally learned about insulin, food storage, blood sugar. I learned I had put my body in permanent fat storage mode and was always hungry because my body was storing not using my calories.

Why would my body EVER burn it's stored fat? No reason to. It knew tons of sugar/carbs were just around the corner.

So I eliminated bread, pasta, potatoes, fast food, junk snacks. And it was MAGIC. Actually science. It was hard at first then my bodies ability to burn fat kindled. In carb counters there is a thread Why Am I low carb. You might enjoy it.
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