Hello all,
Like many of you I have dieted over and over throughout my life (I am 43, I started dieting in earnest at 16).
If I add up what I have gained and lost over the decades it is between 600 and 700 pounds. You name the diet, I have done it. I have also exercised lots (I ran three marathons and several half marathons about 6 years ago when I was in my "starve myself and exercise like a lunatic" phase). I have tried dieting, non-dieting, OA, etc.
In any event, I am at one of my highest weights ever. My dr. is recommending WLS and that scares the crap out of me--- and quite frankly I do not see the point--- regain is a problem with that like it is with any diet. And that is my problem in general.. I do not see the point in starting a diet, because invariably the diet will end, and I will be right back at square one again. Even "lifestyle changes" require effort that I thus far have found insustainable over the long term.
I am aware of the effort it takes to lose weight. The physical effort, the mental effort--- the battling hunger, the having to plan ahead ("so and so invited me to a party--- should I eat before I go? What will I eat when I am there? What if they don't have anything there I can eat? What do I do to avoid a binge?) and on and on and on. I swear I get tired just thinking about it. Planning when to work out, planning which workouts to do on which days, planning food shopping, counting (cals. fat grams, carbs-- whatever- depending on the diet) etc.
I was talking with a dear friend today about how miserable I am being so fat...and she said my telling myself it is pointless to try to lose weight because I will just gain it back again is a "story I am telling myself". She thinks I should try to convince myself THIS time it WILL work--- despite decades of evidence to the contrary.
I feel like Charlie Brown when Lucy tries to convince him she will not whisk the football away THIS time if he tries to kick it....and he tries... and lands flat on his back...again. So....my question to you all is this....how do I find hope again? How do I convince myself I have even a prayer of getting the weight off for good? How do I get myself to believe it is even possible-- because right now, I am thinking there is just no way.
TIA