[SwallowedintheSea]

A place to write little notes to yourself whenever you need a release.

- - Sometimes you need time to reflect on yourself. As a writer I've always written myself little notes. Sounds silly, but it's a fun habit, especially when you go back and look at them. I left myself a note in my math book in 8th grade that I read just the other day, and it made me smile. I had completely forgotten I wrote it. We change, yet we stay the same, and writing little notes to yourself every once in a while is a great way to see how you have transformed (getting that job? finding your soulmate?) and how you have stayed the same (still love "the office"? still have that snarky sense of humor?). I am hoping people can use this thread to write little notes to themselves, funny or serious or random or powerful, whatever suits your fancy. Your future self will thank you. - -

Dear 15-year-old Me,
I know you are in a really dark place right now. When you get older you're not going to have many memories from this time in your life. It's very fuzzy, blurred, like a picture taken out of focus. In the future you'll remember a few things in clarity - like the time Mom wanted to weigh you and you drank practically a gallon of water so you'd hit 114 pounds, or the nights you went to bed starving. Darling, whatever it is that crawled up inside you and told you that you weren't perfect, I want you to squash it. I know this thing makes you feel like you are in control, but really, it is controlling YOU. Get it out. You are beautiful, smart, creative, and what your body looks like does not define you. In a few months summer will come and you'll discover running, which will be a very healthy emotional and physical outlet for you. Until then, I want you to know something painful but true: feeling "skinny" is a mental thing, and even if you continue doing this to yourself until you get so small you disappear, it's not going to fill the hole in your heart.
I love you. Things will get better.
Me

Dear 16-year-old Me,
Honestly, I am really proud of you. You've come a really long way. You ran literally every single day of the summer without fail?! You went from not being able to run a mile to running on a varsity cross country team within a matter of months?! I am proud of you for sticking with it. Every time you stick with something it makes you more stickable in the future. (: Even though you were the slowest on the team, you didn't stop. You made friends that became family, learned new skills, and beat your own personal records. In the end that's what really matters.
Me

Dear Current Me,
This past winter was hard for you. Depression and eating took control of you and over time as you gained weight, running became a punishment. I want you to rediscover running. When you run from the place inside of you that craves feeling powerful and strong and mighty, that's when you love it. Stop running to punish yourself. Get your eating under control, end the excuses, and run because you love it. Get back into the habit and things will fall into place again. No more excuses. You are not a quitter. Time to give it your all.
Me

Dear Future Me,
Realistically, I know you are going to have ups and downs in your fitness and your weight. You're going to have times when you love your body and times you hate it. But my goal for you is to get to a healthy mental place where you can appreciate your body at any weight, a physical place where you are able to maintain a healthy weight for extended periods of time, and an emotional place where you find ways to release your feelings that do not involve food. I want fitness and healthy eating to be one of those easy, effortless things in life. I want you to be an inspiration for your kids one day. I want you to make yourself proud. Life is full of highs and lows, but I want you to know that even during the "lows" you are strong and brave and powerful. You were put on this earth for a reason and that reason is to kick some ***. (:
<3
Me