My suggestion is to get your motivation straight, first off. You can be a beautiful woman at any size, and nobody has ever hated themselves to thin. Losing weight fixes just that - excess body fat - but it won't make us prettier, taller, smarter, more outgoing, less anxious, or any number of things that aren't directly linked to the amount of excess adipose tissue we possess. Sometimes we find ourselves more confident when the weight is gone, but underlying issues will still be there after weight loss, and it is absolutely necessary to tease out which things a dietary or exercise habit change can fix (like flabby arms and a big belly) and which things require separate emotional work (feeling pretty or outgoing).
Confusing the two has led to a lot of dissatisfied but successful weight losers, who then find those issues haven't resolved and oftentimes experience rebound weight gain as they become depressed or think that losing the weight isn't worth the effort if it didn't fix ________.
You CAN lose the fat and this site is excellent for encouragement and ideas along the way, but there were some red flags in your intro that made me want to caution you that the other work is as much or more important to manage