They stabilized me in the hospital, mainly with tranquilizers. When I was released, I went through several weeks of group therapy, which included various coping mechanisms including bio feedback. I also quit my job and changed my career path. I have had only a very few panic attacks in the 20+ years since then and I thought that I had my anxiety pretty much under control.
Little did I realize that my main coping mechanism was eating. I've always been overweight. I've never been a "normal" weight. I was even overweight when I was born. However, last year, on January 18, I saw 302 pounds on the scale in a doctor's office and something inside me snapped. That day, I started a weight loss plan and I've lost 72 pounds so far. I still have over 50 pounds to go.
So, how does this relate to my anxiety disorder? Well, as my weight has dropped and my eating habits have changed, I no longer self medicate with food. As a result, I've experienced an increase in ruminating.
I think this article has a good explanation of what I'm experiencing: Why Ruminating Is Unhealthy and How To Stop. From the article:
Quote:
Ruminating is like a record that’s stuck and keeps repeating the same lyrics. It’s replaying an argument with a friend in your mind. It’s retracing past mistakes.
When people ruminate, they over-think or obsess about situations or life events, such as work or relationships.
Research has shown that rumination is associated with a variety of negative consequences, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, binge-drinking and binge-eating.
Why does rumination lead to such harmful results?
For some people, drinking or binge-eating becomes a way to cope with life and drown out their ruminations, according to Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D, a psychologist and professor at Yale University.
I have been both a binge eater and a binge drinker. I have mostly stopped both behaviors although I still do fall off the wagon from time to time. Eating too much has always been a way for me to distract myself from both physical and emotional pain although I didn't realize that until just lately. Ruminating is like a record that’s stuck and keeps repeating the same lyrics. It’s replaying an argument with a friend in your mind. It’s retracing past mistakes.
When people ruminate, they over-think or obsess about situations or life events, such as work or relationships.
Research has shown that rumination is associated with a variety of negative consequences, including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, binge-drinking and binge-eating.
Why does rumination lead to such harmful results?
For some people, drinking or binge-eating becomes a way to cope with life and drown out their ruminations, according to Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, Ph.D, a psychologist and professor at Yale University.
Ruminating has always been something I do. I get stuff stuck in my head and I can't get it out. It can be minor stuff, like a silly disagreement or major stuff, like the bullshit that went down in my last job that culminated in me being fired. Negative thoughts will replay over and over and over and over and over again, usually at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. Those negative thoughts are often accompanied by physical manifestations of high emotions such as a pounding heart, tears, shaking and adrenalin rushes. I also get ear worms. Not your average ear worm that lasts for a few hours. No, I get ear worms that last for days, weeks or even months and they even wake me up at night. Last year, I had a Cyndi Lauper song stuck in my head for three months. Right now, I'm on day 4 or 5 of AC/DC's Thunderstruck. Actually, this one isn't too bad, I like the song a lot. But 3 months of Cyndi Lauper damn near drove me insane.
So, as I've lost weight, my ruminating has gotten worse. I'm not quite back to the levels I reached in my 20s, but it has been enough of a problem that I sought medical help again. My medical practitioner has prescribed Xanax for me. I take it right at bedtime, or shortly thereafter, if I been triggered and the ruminating rodeo has commenced in my head. So far, it has been effective in allowing me to sleep. Ruminating during the day hasn't been a huge issue for me because when I start, I can do other things to occupy myself and turn it off. Stupid Yahoo match 3 games are great for that! There's something about them that resets my brain.
I am considering going to therapy but I'm leery of that given some bad experiences I've had in the past.
Anyone else here have anxiety issues? Anyone else ruminate? How do you cope?