[freelancemomma]

Redballoon, your last post was extremely honest and self-aware. You know what the issues and choices are. There's no right or wrong here. You just need to decide which one you want MORE: a nice, trim and healthy body, or the freedom to eat what you want.

F.

[redballoon]

Thanks, freelance. Getting and using the heartrate monitor was an eye-opener and, at the time, an incentive to do more because i could quantify my effort. It, so far, is making me think twice about cancelling out the effort I have made for the sake of some junk food or simply indulging my appetites. On the other hand, when I decide I do want to indulge, I do so with eyes wide open to the consequences. I feel much more in control, less "thrown by fickle winds of fate," which is how it seemed before.

And yes, I DO want the trim body. And perhaps, moreso, I think I want to put more of what I do do out there visible. I mean, yes, I have had my cake and eaten it too and do NOT weight double what I would have had I not exercised as much as I did. But who knows that? Certainly no one around me. And more importantly, was it worth it? It may have been, but it's not now. So, let's see if I can continue this mindset.