I guess I mean appearance wise. I use the My Body Gallery website as an estimate of what I may kind of look like as I push through my weight loss. And frankly, I look NOTHING like them. x': They all have very nice figures, despite we weigh the same. Heck, my friend ways the same as me and is my height, but looks better. I know everyone is built different, so how can I stop being envious of other people or stop comparing myself to them? /:
Comparing yourself to other people is perfectly normal - everyone I know (including myself) does it on a regular basis - body wise, skill wise and so on.
Accepting the fact that we all look so different is an important step, allowing you to someday accepting how you look, although it can always be a bit of a struggle coming to terms with yourself when being surrounded by all sorts of wonderful bodies all the frigging time, and it just seems so unfair that they should be blessed while you aren't. Trust me, I know the feeling.
The very essence of being able to not compare yourself and ultimately just feeling like the lowest of the lowest, is closely related to your self-acceptance, and as far as I can tell from your post, you haven't really reached that point yet. Your friend looking better despite weighing the same and having the same height is possibly because of your difference in body types - you might be an apple shape, while she is a pear or hourglass - in each type, fat is stored in different places, naturally shaping the body in different ways.
On a final note, you should really start working on how you view and value yourself and how, what and why you would want to improve your body.
... it can always be a bit of a struggle coming to terms with yourself when being surrounded by all sorts of wonderful bodies all the frigging time, and it just seems so unfair that they should be blessed while you aren't.
The sentiment of your post was wonderful, but I have to disagree with the "blessed" part. Every single person I know that has a wonderful body as worked their butt off for it. They weren't blessed with it, they worked for it.
Thank you - and yes, obviously it can be misread, but the reason I wrote it is simply because when I personally feel terrible, start comparing myself and hating my own guts, I begin to dwell in my own self-loathing and can feel as if they've been "blessed" with a perfect body, while I haven't. This is even though, rationally, I know they've worked incredibly hard and I'm just jealous, but at my low points I can't think in a rational manner - if you get it? so I stand by my statement
Last edited by magentadivine; 05-28-2012 at 05:18 PM.
Treat yourself as you would treat any other human being: with love and compassion.
As for the My Body Gallery website, don't forget: when people put pictures of themselves on the internet, they're almost always the most flattering pictures possible! This hit me one day when I was looking enviously at the people at my weight (or even 10-20 lbs larger) on the My Body Gallery website.
I have pictures of myself in just the right poses in just the right lighting that look really good. I also have pictures of myself in harsh lighting and impromptu poses that show lumps and bumps, or cellulite, or a bit of double chin, or whatever. Guess which pictures I share on Facebook, etc?
Everyone is built differently, you have to learn to love what you've got. And for me the only thing that fixed it was time. I didn't start appreciating anything about my body until I was probably 22.
My boobs are saggy, always have been.. even in high school. It's just the genetic card I was dealt. Sometimes I wish I was those women who have perky boobs and cleavage. I have to wear two push up bras or be over 200lbs to get my boobs to squish together. But you know what? I've got a nice butt (However filled with cellulite it may be) and my waist ain't bad either.
Everyone has their "thing". The thing that they hate and the thing that they eventually realize is pretty okay. At your age I didn't think I had anything going for me. I think a lot of the comparisons will fade with time as you become more comfortable in your own body.
Be accepting of yourself. You might never be them but they will never be you. And that is not an insult. You're pretty great all, you have to do is see it.
If I'm remembering past posts correctly, you aren't seeing a whole lot of difference yet. You still kinda' feel that frumpy lumpy and a little bit discouraged by your lack of progress in physical appearance, even though you've made great strides in your weight loss.
I know we're all different and we all have our own kinds of crazy. But if you are anything like me, you will reach that point when you look at yourself and you think "dang woman, you look good!". You'll reach that point when you look at your Body Gallery, and you're going to think you're there, or close to there, and you'll feel good. You'll compare yourself to others and there will be some where you think you look better than they do, and others who you will think look better than you. But standing in your own skin, you'll feel good and you'll think you look alright, even though you're not your ideal weight yet, or your ideal shape. Standing next to that girl with your desired body shape won't make you feel like a heifer. You'll feel like an attractive woman on your own.
I still see the fat girl. I still catch the reflection of my back-fat in the poorly placed mirror on the other side of the room, and I still feel frumpy lumpy at times. I'm still overweight and I still have around 35 pounds left to lose. But even with all that, I feel good. I look at myself and I think I look pretty good too. Others have told me I don't need to lose more weight, so I can only think they think I look pretty good too.
We all come in different shapes and sizes, it's natural to compare yourself to others, but you shouldn't feel like you're any less beautiful than the next woman. Each body type has its own strong points. I took a test just a couple of minutes ago, to determine my body shape and apparently I'm a spoon . I have wide hips, but long and lean legs, so I can wear short skirts - there's advantages and disadvantages to each body type, that's to say they're all beautiful in different ways. The key is to stop focusing on what you perceive to be negative aspects in your appearance and try emphasizing your qualities instead.
Also, through exercising and a proper diet, you can definitely shape your body and get closer to your desired appearance. Shake off those negative thoughts and smile: you are a beautiful woman and you are unique.
How can I stop comparing myself to other people?
Treat yourself as you would treat any other human being: with love and compassion.
. I have wide hips, but long and lean legs, so I can wear short skirts - there's advantages and disadvantages to each body type, that's to say they're all beautiful in different ways. The key is to stop focusing on what you perceive to be negative aspects in your appearance and try emphasizing your qualities instead. 
