More Stressed over holidays than I thought

  • My brother passed away last February leaving a wife, 2 teen boys and my devastated mother. I live about 3 hours away from them all and have been as supportive as possible long distance. I took a week vacation after he died to help them sort through financials and things and then try to call my mom often to let her vent. I knew Christmas would be hard for them, but did not anticipate the effect it would have on me. I was blue in December, but after visiting them on Christmas day, I have suddenly become so stressed that I can't concentrate. My blood pressure is up and I worry about everything all the time. I am trying to "fix" myself - I have a Dr appointment Friday, I went to a Yoga class and am planning on going to more. This is not like me, I am usually a calm, collected person. But I think anticipating being an empty nester next year, 2 teen daughters of my own, worring about my family has finally caught up with me. Growing older right now is not my favorite thing.

    So this was just a vent, but it helps a little to get it out.

    Thanks

    Oh yeah, I gained 5 pounds over the holidays, but have lost 1.5 so hopefully back on the right track as far as eating.
  • It's hard when you are acting like the rock for everyone else too. And of course, you need to grieve as well.

    And, I don't know how your brother passed away, but if it was health related, there is the "could it happen to me too." aspect of it.

    Just make sure you have a solid support system too that you can vent and cry about the loss too so that you can be the support you want to be for your sister in law, nephews, and your mom. But accept tht you will grieve and it will happen at odd times.

    It sounds like you have a good handle on doing good things for you - like yoga and eating right, but it doesn't make everything "ok", just a little more tolerable.

    Hugs to you. Sharing here is good too.
  • I'm so sorry about your brother. I have no words of wisdom, but I feel for you.