Lately I've just been feeling really discouraged about my weight loss. It's kind of hard to explain so bare with me here. It seems to be that there's somewhat of a war going on in my head between what I know about weight loss and what I feel about it. Just some examples:
- For the last 7lbs or so I haven't lost any inches in my bust/waist/hips. I know I'm losing elsewhere but I have a long ways to go, especially in my waist, so it's really frustrating not to see that budge. Add to that that I have a wedding to go to in about 2 months and I really was hoping to be down a size by then but if I keep losing everywhere but there it's not going to happen!
- I went clothing shopping this weekend because they had a lot of great sales this time of year. It looks like my bust is roughly two sizes bigger than my waist/hips so dresses just looked horrid on me. Either they would fit perfectly everywhere but the bust (and then I just couldn't zip it up or the buttons were really bulging) or they fit in the bust but I would have had MAJOR alterations to fix the waist because it made me look pregnant! Add to that that most of the cute clothes didn't even carry sizes large enough to fit my bust at all. I'm feeling especially discourages because it's reminding me of how difficult it has always been for me (even at my smallest) to find clothes that fit well. I've never been able to wear button up shirts or any dresses that were fitted around the bust.
- Lately I've been getting a lot of attention from guys on the street. I HATE IT. I hate that guys thinks that it's ok to yell out comments about women who walk by like we're a piece of meat. I'm happily married and can't even wear my wedding ring anymore because a metal allergy that I've picked up that just makes matters worst. It's like whenever I try to look half way decent for ME or for my DH then I get these stupid comments and they really upset me.
- I have this stupid idea in my head lately that even if I lose the next 28lbs to get to a healthy BMI that I'm still going to be BIG. It's silly, I know, but sometimes I just don't feel like I've come as far as I'd like.
- Some years back a friend of mine gave me this really pretty skirt for my b-day. I was very excited about it but when I tried it on there was no way I could zip it up. I remember feeling so embarrassed about it because there would be no way I could wear her present at that time. Even at my lowest adult weight (175lbs) it never fit. I tried it on today and it fit! I should be happy about it but when I see myself in the mirror I just feel huge still.
- I know this one is especially irrational but sometimes I see other women around my same height on here who have starting weights close to my goal weight talking about how big they let themselves get. I KNOW that it's such an individual thing because of muscle tone/frame size etc but I still let it get to me at times.
Sorry for the whole emotional baggage dump here but I'm just feeling really down right now about the whole weight loss thing and I'm trying to figure out why I'm not happier about my successes.