Deedee11... that's also the odd thing. I LOVE to cook. I love to experiment with my food and try new things. My specialties are salsas, guacamole, and queso stuff. But for the most part... I still don't feel like eating it. I'll have like... a small taste... just to see if it tastes how I'm wanting it to... and then it'll stay in the fridge and not get eaten.
And it's not just TOM (that's Time of Month right?)... it's all the time. Like... at TOM (still... am I understanding this correctly?
) I have major stomach aches and don't want to eat... because I know it'll upset my stomach. Like... I am constantly running to the bathroom around that time... it's just what happens.
I dunno... The things that usually do sound the best to me are things that are clean. Lately (the past year), I've been having this obsession with "clean" food. It has to LOOK clean... and taste clean. By clean... I kind of mean bland in a way. And those things are almost always stuff like salads, fruits, and veggies.
I'll eat it... but it doesn't mean I enjoy it. I dunno... it's really weird. I was talking to a friend of mine about this... and other things... and... I just really... don't find pleasure in eating. I find pleasure in a ton of other things... just not in eating. I associate eating with pleasurable things... but it's not the eating itself that is pleasurable to me. Does that make any sense?
Like... I would go out and get candy bars because I associate eating candy bars with watching a movie, secrecy (long story), having fun with my brother, and so on. Things that make me feel good. But the food itself doesn't make me feel good.
I dunno. I'm realizing some of these things, and now... when I look at food... most of the time I just don't feel like eating it... because I just... well... don't want it. I've dissassociated myself from it. I'm eating slower because I'm trying to enjoy the food... but... I'm not.
I dunno... it's just weird.
And serendipity... sweet corn... non sweet corn (like the kind of corn they give to animals)... any kind of corn. I just love corn.