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Doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons?

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Old 05-21-2010, 05:40 AM   #1
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Unhappy Doing the right thing for all the wrong reasons?

So a couple of weeks back I decided that I wanted to lose some weight... but it hit me today, i wasn't doing it for me i was doing it for a guy! I'm so angry at myself

And when i say i'm doing it for a guy, I don't mean that a guy asked me to lose some weight... I was doing it coz I wanted him to 'like' me... it's not that he doesn't like me, we're great friends but i'm kinda hoping for more than that...

Even though this gave me motivation to lose weight, i still feel bad about it... I'm not really doing it for me, am I?

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Old 05-21-2010, 05:50 AM   #2
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I think there are other reasons that you want to lose weight. Sit down and make a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight.

Don't you want to wear a smaller size? How about health? How about actitivities? Are there things that your size is keeping you from doing?

Keep the list and re-read it periodically. It might help you get through the tough times.
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Old 05-21-2010, 07:25 AM   #3
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Thanks a lot! You've opened my eyes a bit, it might have started out being all about a guy but now it's all about me
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Old 05-21-2010, 08:55 AM   #4
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Sometimes when you need that motivation to be healthier and drop those extra pounds, anything helps.

Though you may feel like you are doing it to get him, you are only really benefiting yourself. It's like saying 'I'm going to take care of myself so a guy can like me', just change it to 'I'm going to take care of myself' and keep that motivation going!

Great things about losing weight:
-Clothes fit better, look better
-You feel better emotionally
-The health benefits are amazing!
-Your body will thank you

And just maybe you will get this guys attention, but if not, look at all the other great stuff that's going to come from this!
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:02 AM   #5
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Lose the weight because you want to be the best you possible. Lose the weight because you want the best chance of a disease free life, because you want the highest quality of life. Because you never want to fear going on an amusement park ride, because you don't want to be limited. Because there is no reason to settle for a second best life, not when there's first best right within your grasp. Lose the weight because you CAN, you've got the ability. Lose the weight because you CARE what you put into your body, that it matters how you treat yourself and you deserve the best out of life. Lose the weight because you respect yourself and to overfeed yourself is a form of abuse and you wouldn't abuse a friend, a stranger, a dog. Lose the weight so you'll never have to wonder, "what if". Lose the weight so you can have the highest level of self confidence, self worth, self respect.
Lose the weight because it's an absolute blast going shopping and having an enormous wardrobe of FABULOUS clothing!!!

The list is really endless. The list of the benefits of being overweight - not too long now, is it??? I always feared giving up the high calorie/high quantity food would be a hardship, turns out that was FALSE. The hardship, the burden was EATING that way and remaining fat. Turns out adhering to a healthy lifestyle is a blessing and a joy of unbelievable proportions.
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:06 AM   #6
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I don't think it much matters what causes the "Aha!" moment. What matters is the reasons that sustain the effort long haul because if those aren't good reasons... there isn't going to BE a long haul.

GL!

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Old 05-21-2010, 09:09 AM   #7
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I don't think it really matters what the actual "Kick in the Pants" was. Lot of folks here have been spurred on by silly things. A comment from a friend, an event ... mine was a pair of pants. I really could have just bought bigger pants.

I think the ground work for you wanting to be slimmer must have already been there. This fellow is just another part of the puzzle. As long as you don't guage your progress based on his reaction to you ... but I don't think you will. He's just a kicker and you'll soon learn how great you feel. Then you'll be doing it because you can and you like it.
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:30 AM   #8
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I totally agree with SusanB. Who cares what got you started, it's what keeps you going that is important. Funny thing about losing weight for men I have found. I've done it and once you lose the weight, 9 times out of ten your are not interested in that guy anymore. I always kind of copped an attitude. "If you didn't like me at my worst, you sure as **** don't deserve me at my best!" (I think Maryln Monroe said that )

Oh, and I lost 190 pounds for 3 men. (So they could have me around for a lot longer...my husband and 2 sons.)
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:36 AM   #9
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I've lost weight for a guy before. Actually, I tried to lose weight, heh, but didn't succeed. I did two things differently: 1. I crash-dieted for a week hoping to lose 5 lbs by the weekend (yeah, I don't know what I was thinking either) and 2. I was looking for short-term results (see previous point). I think if you are slowly incorporating lifestyle changes and losing weight at a healthy rate for you, then you really are doing it for you. I agree with the above posters - it's good to have something to get started, it's up to you to keep it going.

It's a good thing that you're thinking about the reasons for your weight-loss early on. You can change your thinking by altering your goals as mentioned in previous posts. Make it all about you and you'll find that the guy matters less in the long run.
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Old 05-21-2010, 09:38 AM   #10
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I find that for most anything I do, I can come up with a half dozen motivations, not all of them entirely noble. What is my "real" motivation? Dang if I know all the time.

I've found if I'm doing the "right" "best" thing it's not necessary to dwell on ALL the possible reasons.

(And I've always been a little jealous/suspicious of people who claim to have pure motives. Either they are better people than me or they lack imagination.)
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