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Losing weight DID make me happy!

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Old 05-01-2010, 12:11 PM   #1
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Default Losing weight DID make me happy!

I'm not sure if anybody else had people say things like this to them, but I constantly had people tell me "losing weight isn't going to solve your problems" and "just because you'll be skinnier doesn't mean you'll be happier...you'll just be a hungry unhappy person." I'm not going to lie, better health was not my number one reason to lose weight. I wanted to look good because I felt that looking better would make me happier. Probably a shallow reason, but I'm sure it's not uncommon. In an ideal world, I should have been able to love myself unconditionally no matter what size I am, but I was unhappy with my reflection in the mirror and this was truly depressing for me.

Well those naysayers were wrong! I am 100% happier! Everything in my life has improved for the better. I am proud of how I look, and because of this, I actually enjoy putting myself together (doing my hair, makeup, dressing up). I've been more confident, and I've made several new friends in the last few months. I had never been a social butterfly, but all of a sudden I am one. For once, I enjoy being active and I have energy. I don't sit around all morning trying to force myself to get off the couch to go to Walmart, I wake up at 5:30am with no alarm and can't wait to get started on the day. I've learned how to cook, I've developed new tastes, I've learned loads about nutrition. With new energy and confidence and a zest for life, I'm interested in new things. I suddenly have a strong desire to play golf which is totally random, but I have signed up for a beginners clinic. I have learned to love my body. Not just how it looks, but I've learned its patterns, what effects it, how to take care of it, and how to take pride in it. My wonderful boyfriend has been deployed in Iraq since I was at my highest weight, so I haven't experienced "skinny sex" yet, but I know that'll be amazing too, haha.

My world is just better. I'm healthier, happier, stronger, more energetic, I look better, I'm more confident, and I feel like I'm experiencing life for the first time. Before, I was just existing, trudging through my days. Now, I'm living. I wake up every morning with enthusiasm and energy.

Anyways, sorry for this excessively joyful post. I ate breakfast this morning with one of those friends who told me "losing weight won't solve your problems" all those months ago. She kept picking at my (delicious) egg white, broccoli, and turkey omelet going on and on about how I must hate starving myself. It reminded me how far I've come, and how glad I am that I committed myself to getting here.
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Old 05-01-2010, 12:15 PM   #2
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I agree with this, especially when I look at overall happiness. For me it is more about having more energy to tackle the day, play with my kids, getting stuff done, etc. All of that contributes to a greater feeling of satisfaction/happiness each day.
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Old 05-01-2010, 12:47 PM   #3
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I totally agree with this, getting thin can improve soooo many more aspects of you life than you think it will, well done, you are an inspiration
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Old 05-01-2010, 12:59 PM   #4
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OMG! Wow, I can't believe he hasn't been home since you started losing. Boy will he be in for a shock! AWESOME!
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:34 PM   #5
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Haha, thanks guys, I'm glad you all feel the same I want to shout it from the rooftops, everyone deserves to feel this great. It took me so long to get started on weight loss because I just thought it would be hard, tedious, and I'd ultimately fail. I know a lot of people feel like this so they never get started and they're missing out!

And crcossel, he left exactly 7 months ago today. I won't see him until July (I'm planning on being about 135 by then). I've hinted that I've been "getting healthier," but I don't think he realizes what a change it is, lol. Actually what kicked me in the pants to lose the weight was overhearing two soldiers talking and one said "wives and girlfriends either get skinny or fat from worrying during deployments...we all know which way most of them go." I didn't want to be one of the girlfriends that got fat, and I knew I was headed that way. So I got skinny instead!
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:39 PM   #6
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Your post made me tear up a little, haha. Your happiness sounds amazing. I hope I get there...some day.
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:44 PM   #7
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Wow! I so feel you on this one! Sure we all have down days and even ugly days but overall I am a MUCH happier person! I go out in public now! I want to get up and DO something now! Visit friends and family I haven't seen in years, etc. Losing weight had definitely made me a happier person. I'd never go back, not for a million donuts!

Edit: I was just thinking about your post a little more and how EXCITING about your husband! He's going to be so OMG when he sees you! I'm excited for you! You'll have to make a post about it because that's just too cool and I have to know how he reacts!
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:49 PM   #8
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My bf isnt going to iraq but he is in the (Canadian) navy.. i cant wait for him to go i will be sad but then i can focus on me he will only be gone 4 months this time..... I know how military wives and gfs have this stigma at least here in Canada they do... overweight in pjs with kids running havoc.. THAT will NOT be me!!!!!!!!! Congrats To you! i cant wait to be where you are!!!
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Old 05-01-2010, 01:51 PM   #9
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Your post is uplifting I have started taking more pride in myself as well but it's a process. That is going to be great for your boyfriend to see you after all these months, what a surprise! He may have to do a double take and make sure he's not looking at the wrong girl LOL. Do you know when he is coming home?

Good for you! You deserve to be proud
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Old 05-01-2010, 02:23 PM   #10
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I can TOTALLY relate to your post

I feel alive again. I want to go out. I want to try new things. I'm not scared anymore because I feel so much more empowered!

I'm not at goal yet but the fact I've come this far by myself through eating healthy and exercising has really made me feel great about myself. I've gone through yo-yo dieting throughout the years mainly controlled by my mother.
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Old 05-01-2010, 02:37 PM   #11
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Megan, I'm so glad to hear you have discovered this for yourself! It's such a wonderful feeling. I think people who say it won't make you happy are making excuses, in most cases.
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Old 05-01-2010, 02:50 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MeowMix View Post

Edit: I was just thinking about your post a little more and how EXCITING about your husband! He's going to be so OMG when he sees you! I'm excited for you! You'll have to make a post about it because that's just too cool and I have to know how he reacts!
You know, you might want to rethink about surprising him or downplaying how big of a change this is. I can think of three major pitfalls:

1) Anyone gone for a year and desperately homesick is looking forward to the familiar, not the new--in fact, abruptly discovering how much stuff happened while you were gone, how much was happening and you were oblivious, how much you weren't a part of, can be sort of dismaying, even if you like the changes.

You are in college, correct? How would you feel if you went home at Christmas and discovered that while you were gone your parents sold the old, little house you grew up in and bought a fabulous new place with a pool and a tennis court etc etc? You'd love the new house, and be excited, but part of you would also be thrown off balance by this huge change you didn't see coming.

2) Exercise and eating patterns are a way of life, and while you know how yours have changed, they will be all new to him. I mean, you have new priorities now--exercise time matters, and needs to be scheduled around, however comfortable bed is. If he's eating junk in front of the TV and offers it to you, you're going to say no a lot of the time. If he wants to BBQ ribs, you're going to ask if he can make chicken, too.

It'd be weird if he came back a different religion, right? This is that fundamental of a change, and even if you totally supported that decision, it would take some getting used to. It would be something you'd want to know in advance, not something you'd want dropped on you.

3) People planning surprises often build these elaborate daydreams about the day of the big "reveal", and if it doesn't go according to script, it's easy to get upset or be disappointed. I've done this tons: I surprise my husband with a gift I think he will LOVE and he likes it, but isn't "wowed" like I expected. Then I get my feelings hurt, which is stupid.

Returning soldiers, especially, often have odd reactions to things--the transition home is huge and complicated and emotional and basically makes their responses unpredictable. If he doesn't react the way you expect, and you get your feelings hurt . . .that's no way to start off a reunion.
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Old 05-01-2010, 03:03 PM   #13
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Schmead, I definitely agree with you on all points! I didn't mean for it to sound like he has no idea what a change I've made. Really, he just doesn't know that I have lost "X" lbs. But he has seen pictures along the journey and the weight loss is pretty obvious (at least I hope, lol).

He's also a fitness buff, himself, and he's really excited about us getting to work out together. We talk about our gym routines, how we're getting all our protein in, progress on fitness goals, etc. Before he left, he finally convinced me to go running with him, LOL, it was a joke! I ran for about 30 seconds, not even out of the apartment complex, and I was bent over huffing and puffing. Now I might leave him in the dust, lol. So really, me getting healthy has added a whole new level that we can connect on. He's excited about this.

So yes, I'm expecting a period of him needing to get used to the new Megan when he gets home. And I have considered everything you listed for the same reasons. When he initially noticed that I had lost weight, he went through a brief period of wondering why I was losing weight right after he left, as if I was trying to attract other guys. That was a fair concern, but I explained to him that I was using the deployment as a time to focus on improving myself. It has been a good challenge, almost like a project, to pass the time while he's gone. An opportunity to develop habits for myself without distractions. He understands this now, and now we're just excited for him to come home so we can live life as a fit and healthy couple

Buuut, I still think he'll be a bit surprised when he sees how much I've lost in person, and I have no idea how he'll react.

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Old 05-01-2010, 03:04 PM   #14
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I think that people say things like "losing weight isn't going to solve your problems" and "just because you'll be skinnier doesn't mean you'll be happier...you'll just be a hungry unhappy person," is in response to the "old days" when we were told the opposite "You can't be happy unless you're thin (and rich)."

It was a terrible message for those of us who struggled with our weight, and weren't being successful, because we were told (and we believed) that if we couldn't get the weight off, we were doomed to be unhappy forever. In fact, we deserved to be unhappy (and there was something wrong with us if we weren't).

For me, it's been the reverse journey. Rather than losing weight leading to self-worth participation in a full, active life: Choosing self-respect, happiness and participating in life is leading to weight loss.

Positive energy creates positive energy, and I'm not sure it matters where you start, as long as you start. Losing weight can help you feel happier and help you get more out of life and love yourself more. But loving yourself can help you lose weight and get more out of life, and Participating in life can help you lose weight and love yourself.

Positive changes feed other positive changes. Some of us just start with different changes. I think that's why it's more important to start with whatever you can.

What doesn't work very well though (in my opinion) is believing that you're only worthy of love, happiness and all good things, if you're perfect. If only a certain number will satisfy you, and you pin all your hopes and dreams on that number, and you don't think you're worthy of good things until you can claim that number, you may have difficulty claiming happiness even if you are able to achieve the number.

There's no doubt that my weight loss has brought me good things. But good things in my life have also brought me to the weight loss. When I was miserable, and felt unworthy it, the effort always seemed so pointless because I could never reach the weight that I imagined I'd be happy at.

The "losing weight won't make you happy" messages aren't any more productive or accurate (or inaccurate for that matter) than the "you won't be worthy of happiness until you lose the weight" messages.

Learning to write our own messages is the key.
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Old 05-01-2010, 04:03 PM   #15
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I'm still excited for you
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