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Ever feel like you'll never be satisfied?

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Old 04-26-2010, 08:53 PM   #1
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Default Ever feel like you'll never be satisfied?

I'm worried that I'm turning into one of "those girls" that looks in the mirror and sees a fat girl when everyone else sees a skinny girl. And I'm frustrated that I can't seem to satisfy myself, I always want to "just lose 5 more pounds."

My original goal was 150. Then 145. Now I'm close to 140, but I'm pretty convinced that I'm going to 135. I won't be surprised if I'll want to get to 130. It's not that I want to be a twiggy stick figure, but I'm not going to lie, I want to be thin. Not underweight, but thin. I've worked so hard to get this far, why quit if I'm not completely satisfied? I don't want my ribs to be poking out or to fit into 00's or anything of the sort. Please don't think I want to starve myself down to nothing, and I'm well within the healthy BMI range (I could theoretically go all the way down to 120, but I hiiighly doubt I would want to).

My friends say how thin I am, and how I should stop losing now, but they don't see me naked, I still have a ways to go! I have been strength training for a few months now, and that's made a lot of difference to my overall shape. But there is still a lot of fat covering the muscles. And this isn't me with self-deprecating goggles, I can still grab rolls, lol.

I dunno, I know that I'm smaller now and each pound makes a bigger difference, so maybe I'll be happy at 135. Has anybody ever felt like this?
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Old 04-26-2010, 09:09 PM   #2
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I feel like this ALL THE TIME!!!! I feel like I'm striving for perfection that will never exist. Well, not without Jennifer Aniston's nutritionist and personal trainer working for me full time, LOL. I really want to accept myself as I am and know that I'm HEALTHY and enjoy everything life has to offer without obsessing over my weight or appearance all the time. Hopefully I'll figure that part out soon.
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:28 PM   #3
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I think what happens is that while our "problem" areas shrink, they usually are still there, just in a smaller version. It takes almost superhuman effort to totally change a tough area where we are genetically programmed to be bigger, like says big hips, stomach bulge, cankles, etc. That's why so many of those Hollywood starlets wind up starving themselves, I think. They get so desperate to lose those things that they diet themselves into nothingness, until they become so underweight that they look sick, in an effort to finally get rid of them.
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:54 PM   #4
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im not to goal yet, but my original goal was 150. i dont get it, i was heavier than this when i met my husband (about 165), yet i FEEL way fatter now. i feel like ill never be satisfied. when i was at 220 i thought i would feel like a supermodel at 150, and i do feel MUCH better, but i still feel chubby. :/
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Old 04-26-2010, 11:04 PM   #5
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I am the Queen of not feeling good enough. I'm like this in all areas of my life. I have "everything" (not bragging, but really, there is nothing I really need-I should just be happy with what I've got), I'm successful at work, I'm thin, yet I keep on searching for something more.

I'm not stupid enough to starve myself down to nothing, but 118 sounds awesome too me. I'm at about 120.X right now, but a couple of pounds is going to be magically good enough,

The feeling of not being good enough permeates a lot of facets of my life, but I'm working on it. This isn't a pity party-just something I know I need to work on to be a better person to myself and others.

I can only imagine how it would be to be significantly heavy and then become thin. I'm sure it makes you a little scared to revert back to your old self. Also, it's like, "I worked so hard to get here, why not lose more weight."

Maybe the issue isn't necessarily with the numbers on the scale. I think you should work on improving your physique, but it may not be completely about the numbers--it's the muscle/fat ratio. Your weight already seems pretty low for your height, but maybe you just need to focus on toning, instead of the actual numbers. I really think that some people can lose so much weight, but still be very flabby--there's only so much weight you can lose!
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Old 04-26-2010, 11:39 PM   #6
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Absolutly! Some days it's really depressing because I know some of the damage I've done is irreversable without surgery and self inflicted. Other days it's just like you, my orginal goal was 140-150 then I wanted to be under 140, now I'm just not sure anymore. So I've decided to take a break from the scale and just go until I'm satisfied. My goal is to truly not step on the scale again until I've either a. Gotten to a size 10 (I'm a 12 now and was a 10 the last time I was thin) or b. Am happy with myself and don't think I want to lose anymore weight or c. My two tummies become one (this is a huge goal). If that weigt is 150 then so be it, if it's 130 then great. Now the only trouble is I'm a scale addicted daily weigher so not weighing for what will be months seems a little unlikely but i really want me and my body to tell me when to stop not the scale.
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Old 04-27-2010, 12:38 AM   #7
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Hopefully we will all reach our goals and know when to stop losing. None of us want to end up on the other side of food addiction: anorexia. I have read that one reason that anorexia occurs is that a person thinks that losing weight is the magical cure for other problems in their life. People wth anorexia keep on losing to the point of starvation, sure that another few pounds will make everything better and that "perfection" is just around the corner. They become unable to see themselves as others do and often are unable to start eating again without help. I can see how in our culture, which glorifies thinness, that this could happen as often as it does, especially to young girls. Sometimes the fat we think is on our bodies is actually in our head in the form of "fat thoughts." Of course, sometimes it is actually on our bodies and we want it gone! It can be a slippery slope!
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:11 AM   #8
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I worry about this too, and I've asked DH to let me know if he starts thinking I'm getting too thin. I know that at my goal weight, I will most likely be unhappy with my body because it's all flab.

My strategy to deal with it though is once I get to my goal weight, I'm going to stop worrying about the number on the scale. I'm planning on doing a lot of exercise to build muscle and firm up all the flab and I know that it's going to do weird things to the number on the scale. My clothes and the mirror will be my new "scale" by how I judge how happy I am with my body. All in theory anyway!
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:12 AM   #9
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Sometimes it just takes one day for you to turn around and think...yes, I actually feel good about myself I have been through the whole process but unfortunately, now I am back to square one . However, I remember when I reached a weight where I felt contented and just that one pound made all the difference. All I can do now is strive for that feeling again...and trust me it feels fantastic! Keep going and you'll feel good eventually
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Old 04-27-2010, 06:54 AM   #10
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I've been around here awhile, and yes, I've seen this happen on 3FC. People keep dropping their goal weight as they get closer, thinking that a lower number on the scale is better, better, better. Or they think their bodies will finally change with just another 5 pounds.

Sometimes those "rolls" you're talking about are loose skin. Sometimes that "pooch" on the belly (or whatever) isn't going to go away, no matter what that number is.

I'd suggest you stop making The Number the focus of your efforts at this point. You're at a normal BMI--maybe you should concentrate on maintaining your weight for awhile and see how that goes. Maybe focus on increasing your fitness while maintaining. Eating in maintenance isn't going to be that much different from what you're doing now--just with a couple hundred more calories.

It's up to you, of course.

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Old 04-27-2010, 08:20 AM   #11
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I also wanted to point out that The Number is not simply what you can reduce yourself down to. The Number is also what you can maintain over time, with a reasonable amount of effort, while still enjoying a good quality of life & without feeling like it is the sole focus of all your mental & physical energy.

For me, from hard-earned past experience, I know that I can be 20 pounds lower than my current weight, but that the effort hold that number steady over a long period of time is more than I am willing to make. At that point, I think about food & my weight more than I want to, and exercise becomes more like a compulsion, requiring upwards of two hours a day in my schedule. And I get sad & begin feeling enslaved by my precariously maintained routine.

Weighing the effort against the prize -- holding up the trophy of The Number & the cute smaller size clothes -- and the diminishing benefits to my health, mental & physical, it feels like knocking myself out for a grade of 98, when I could live with a grade of 91 & have a better quality of life, too. I opt for the 91, personally.
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:23 AM   #12
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I won't know until I get there, but right now, being where I've been, I think I will be thrilled at 135 no matter what. When I was your age, I was tiny! And I thought I was fat. I had the same body issues you are describing and frankly, I probably still do. But now I KNOW about myself that I will never see myself correctly, so I must go by pants size. I look at old pictures of myself wearing a 10 or an 8 and I think, man, that girl was tiny! I thought I was so fat then!! So now I know that when I make it to an 8, I should be on top of the world and I will try to rewire my brain in such a way.
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Old 04-27-2010, 10:53 AM   #13
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I know exactly what you mean. I had my original goal of 161 and thought I'd be happy there, I mean I was higher than that five years ago and I thought I looked good at the time. I got there and.... NOT happy. Ok, lose 5 more pounds... down to 156, NOT happy. I think to myself now at 154 - 10 pounds will do it, 10 pounds and I'll look different and that's what I want to look like. Who knows how I'll feel at 145? I hope I'm in love, lol.... but really, I won't know until I get there. To me, at our height, the 130s sound scary thin. But hey, when I was in the 160s, the 140s sounded scary thin. I think the worst part of it all is that we really don't know what we'll look like 5, 10 pounds thinner so it's hard to tell when we'll be able to look in the mirror and be happy. So, give me until 145 and then we'll see how I feel.
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:38 AM   #14
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To be quite honest, and let me stress that this is my little opinion and nothing more, you are the absolute perfect weight for your height - you should stop losing and start maintaining.

I think the problem lies in the fact that you have proven that you are quite successful at weight loss. It is something you do very well, you excel at it. You have devoted a lot of time and hard work to attaining your ideal body, now you have it, and its not good enough. If you stop losing, there will be a somewhat empty space in your life for awhile.

If I were you, I'd think about transferring 'this energy' and success to something else. Maybe you have found your calling and you can find a way to help others lose weight - if losing weight is your main interest in life.
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:54 AM   #15
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There is by no means the holy grail of ideal weight for people, bone mass and density, muscle percentage and a bunch of other vairiable all play a role in how much a persons ideal weight would be. I thnk you should get your body fat accurately tested. You can go to a gym or college and get the caliper method, they have submergion methods. that will be your most accurate idea of where you are at for any fat left to lose.
Here are the body fat percentages that are ideal for women. Realize that athletes means that, if your train for alot of races or am a professional body builder then thats when you fall into that catagory. I aim to be about 22-23% body fat. This will answer questions about whether you have lost too much weight, or if your right about being able to spare a little more

Athletes 14-20%
Fitness 21-24%
Acceptable 25-31%
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