I just need some encouragement.
Iíve been pretty off plan for the past month now. Iíve had three or four day stretches that I did pretty well, but then I blew it on the weekend or just gave in for no reason. Iíve pretty much stopped working out and Iím indulging myself left and right.
I found out yesterday that I am pregnant. However, the pregnancy is not viable and I will be having a DNC done this Saturday. They said I should have miscarried by now, but for some reason it has not happened. So on the one hand, Iím thinking, ďWell, Iím pregnant, I canít lose weight anyway and I feel like crap, so I shouldnít be so hard on myself.Ē But on the other hand I can see myself staying on this destructive path forever, continuing to find excuses and putting off getting back on the wagon. The thought of gaining all my weight back is terrifying. (Just because I have a feeling someone will ask: I am not upset about the pregnancy being terminated. I wouldnít say I relieved, but I donít think it would be the best for me to have a baby right now.)
Iíve already gained about five pounds. I know that I truly have gained some back because of my excessive eating and lack of exercise, but my friend said that some of it might be water weight and weight from pregnancy ďmatterĒ? Does that happen? Iím embarrassingly ignorant on pregnancy and weight mattersÖwhen I was pregnant with my son, I actually lost weight during the pregnancy and a great deal after I had him.
Someone please tell me that theyíve managed to get fully back on track and be successful after such a long bingeing period and setbacks such as these. I need to know itís possible.