like when you're in a public rest room and the *skinny* girls aren't staring at you with disgust, or you walk down the street and some guy checks you out and it's not to poke fun with his buddies, or just not being invisable in general, or the hardest thing I'm actually finding to deal with is the looks from heavier people...I really can't describe it and I wonder if I used to be this way. I'm sure I did. I know I used to think that thin people thought they were better than me because they weren't fat. But I still just get suprised when I look in the mirrior (especially in public) and I look average or like the girl standing next to me at the sink. I get a lot of what are looking at stares too...probably because I'm staring in confusion at myself and the person next to me...comparing and realizing that I my body is completely different now. I'm not sure if I want my head to catch up with my body, part of me feels like maybe it's keeping me a little humble and a little modest.
When I first hit the 20 pounds down mark (I've been maintaining here for about 2 months), I could really tell a difference, but now I think it's worn off - I honestly feel like I look the same as I did when I started, even though my clothes fit totally differently now. Thank goodness for my fiancee - yesterday, while I was getting dressed, he said to me, "I should take a picture - I really don't think you realize how much you've changed." Good man
Boy do I understand this. There's a gigantic mirror behind the cashier at my favorite grocery store. I used to avoid looking at it by looking down. Yesterday I was like a kid, I couldn't stop staring! That couldn't be me looking back. I still expect to hate what I see and am genuinely surprised every time I see myself.
I probably give negative looks to skinny girls too. What a shame. I'd never turned it around like that.
Yes, this happens when I'm at the gym. Probably because I'm sweaty & engaged with the difficulty of what I'm doing, & some rational part of my mind isn't working. I think whatever i'm doing is so hard for me because I am fat & uncoordinated & out-of-shape, compared with all the athletes surrounding me, and I forget this is no longer true. (Well, maybe about coordination -- my balance isn't good.) And if there is someone heavy & out of shape also in the class or on the machines, I relate to that person immediately, as my "own kind" & not to the fitter athletes alongside us.
I'm still adjusting. I will be shopping and pull something in my size off the rack and think, "This must be marked wrong - there's no way that will fit me." On the other hand, sometimes I think I'm thinner than I am.
I feel great in my size 10 clothes but when I see photos I know that though I'm looking way better than I did in size 22 I'm not yet as thin as I think I am. lol
I went to buy some jeans after a long stretch and went through a lot of pairs to find the right size. The cashier couldn't figure out why I didn't know my size and had jeans all over the fitting room till see saw my old ID when I charged it.
I do this all the time especially in public, and for sure with the rest room thing. I look in the mirror and I look like(or sometimes smaller) than the girls next to me it's a weird feeling.
I went to a store the other day and tried on a pair of sweat shorts, I figured with my large hips I would surely need the biggest size, I actually needed two sizes smaller and they were a bit loose.
I pulled my largest pair of jeans out the other day when I was donating clothes. And I thought "Maybe I'll try them on. Even if they are a little large, I could belt them or something". Needless to say, they were huge and falling off of me; i couldnt have kept them on my hips for 10 seconds. But they didn't look that large and I'd be tempted to buy the same size again.
Its been over 2 years and I'm still not adjusted to my "normal" self. I constantly look at myself and still feel like that fat girl from when I started. I often see clothes and think to myself there is no way I can wear that when In reality its just my size. I wish my brain would catch up!
Oh yes to all of what you said! I still go into the restroom and stare at myself in the mirror. I try to be discreet so that people don't think I'm arrogant.
But, I honestly cannot believe how small my legs and hips have gotten. Like someone said, I feel like a kid in a candy store every time I see myself in a new mirror. I just can't believe it.
Then part of me worries that I'm dreaming and that this new body will go away.
Just today one of my work friends told me that the security guard was talking about "this girl in jeans". It took me a second to realize she was telling me because the guard was talking ABOUT me. LOL! My thought was, "Me??". :P
I was there for a moment. I was 260 something and got down to this weight. Sometimes I am still a little surprised when I see a picture and I don't look huge. It feels good.
It happens to me when I'm standing next to someone, and all of a sudden I feel like I shrank and the other person grew... really the other person stayed the same, but they used to be smaller than me, and now they're bigger.
Do you ever forget you've lost weight...
