I had a man that I barely know at work ask me if I'd lost weight (I've lost over 80 pounds) and then when I said yes, ask me if "my husband put his foot down".
There are so many things wrong with that--it's a comment on my sex life, it's sexist, it suggests his view of a normal relationship dynamic is skewed beyond control--that if he weren't a true and complete idiot I would have been upset.
Weirdly, it's the first rude thing I've ever had anyone that wasn't a relative say about my weight. I have a really strict policy of just never discussing anyone's weight, including my own, and usually people follow my cue. It was really odd.
I had a man that I barely know at work ask me if I'd lost weight (I've lost over 80 pounds) and then when I said yes, ask me if "my husband put his foot down".
.
Okay. You win the prize. This comment takes the cake. Heck it takes the whole damn bakery.
WHAT A JERK!!! I would have been livid. I don't know how I would have contained myself, because Lord knows this *man* deserves no response to that.
It helped that the man is a complete and total idiot, and I truly think he meant it in a jocular sort of way, and, more importantly, there isn't a germ of truth in what he said. My husband is totally neutral about my weight: he admires me for doing something difficult, but he isn't invested in the process or the result.
I was more stunned than angry, and honestly, it's a great story.
This story isn't about weight, but about cultural norms and rude questions!
When I was about 25 and single, I moved to West Virginia where many local people get married very very young. I went out with my girlfriends to a bar, and a guy asked me to dance. At the time I had a cute little body and I was wearing a pantsuit so you couldn't see my ankles and feet. So, we were dancing and, although he never asked my name, he asked the following 3 questions:
1. Are you married? (Me: "no")
2. Have you ever been married? (Me: "no")
3. What's wrong, got a club foot or somethin'? (Me: jaw dropped)
The reason for this line of questioning is he couldn't figure out why someone at my advanced age would never have been married, except for some physical problem. True story
lol the old school marriage beliefs... for me it is the idea that someone with children should be married.... but as far as I was concerned my kids were forever, absolute with or without the person who made them, and until that person and I were ready in our relationship for marriage we weren't doing that.... I know there are a lot of beliefs about this but there's mine.
What is remarkable is people's disbelief when I say I lost the weight by exercise and eating better.
For some reason, once you've *publicly* lost weight so to speak, people feel that you're an open book. I have people all the time ask me not only how much I've lost - but how much I currently WEIGH. I also often get asked what size I wear. As if I would ever, ever ask any one that question.
For some reason, once you've *publicly* lost weight so to speak, people feel that you're an open book. I have people all the time ask me not only how much I've lost - but how much I currently WEIGH. I also often get asked what size I wear. As if I would ever, ever ask any one that question.
FRIEND you know how much I love and respect you so I am not afraid to post this.....
I understand where you are coming from because it is based on where you were.
But I also know that people come down other roads.
If you were a "friend" of mine, understanding many levels of friendship here, someone like me would ask those questions out of excitement for you! Because I would assume that you would be excited to share your good news.
I also know that some people come down the same road you have and fail to achieve the same results. I believe they ask the questions because they want what you have and their journey is still ahead of them.
On the other hand I can only imagine how annoying those questions can be for you over and over....a pain in your butt.....
For some reason, once you've *publicly* lost weight so to speak, people feel that you're an open book. I have people all the time ask me not only how much I've lost - but how much I currently WEIGH. I also often get asked what size I wear. As if I would ever, ever ask any one that question.
I don't really mind those questions. Well, I mind if the same person asks over and over.
What is both weird and annoying is people thinking that you can't lose weight by eating better and exercise.
FRIEND you know how much I love and respect you so I am not afraid to post this.....
I understand where you are coming from because it is based on where you were.
But I also know that people come down other roads.
If you were a "friend" of mine, understanding many levels of friendship here, someone like me would ask those questions out of excitement for you! Because I would assume that you would be excited to share your good news.
I also know that some people come down the same road you have and fail to achieve the same results. I believe they ask the questions because they want what you have and their journey is still ahead of them.
On the other hand I can only imagine how annoying those questions can be for you over and over....a pain in your butt.....
much like me
These are not *friends* per se' that are asking these questions, they're more like acquaintances, just people I happen to know. And I think asking anyone what they weigh really is a bit personal. Dress size too. It's just one of those things that you should not inquire about, IMO. It's mucho personal.
Now of course I really have no problem telling the world about my dress size as thanks to vanity size it's quite tiny. My weight - which is ALWAYS fluctuating within a 5 lb range - me being me, I'd have to go into a whole song and dance to explain how it varies and no, sorry - it's just too personal. Asking how much I LOST - okay, I get the excitement thing, but how much I actually WEIGH - nope. You're just not *supposed to* go there, again, IMO.
And of course Gary, you have no reason to be afraid to post what you did. 3FC - telling things, stats, sizes, like it is - a whole other ball game - that's why we're here for goodness sake!
I don't really mind those questions. Well, I mind if the same person asks over and over.
What is both weird and annoying is people thinking that you can't lose weight by eating better and exercise.
I have an acquaintance who also works in my building that comments everytime we see each other about my weightloss. That's not what bothers me, because I'm getting used to it. And I have told her how I lost weight. But she acts like I'm holding out on her that I'm keeping my "plan" a secret from her. She also told me that her "Chipolte Diet", where she eats at Chipolte for lunch everyday, does not appear to be working.
I have an acquaintance who also works in my building that comments everytime we see each other about my weightloss. That's not what bothers me, because I'm getting used to it. And I have told her how I lost weight. But she acts like I'm holding out on her that I'm keeping my "plan" a secret from her. She also told me that her "Chipolte Diet", where she eats at Chipolte for lunch everyday, does not appear to be working.
I've gotten this too. Like I said, it doesn't bother me in the least when somebody asks if I have lost weight. But when they ask me how I did it, I don't really know what to tell them. Because really, all I did was eat moderate portion sizes of healthy foods and be more active. I didn't do anything special, I don't even calorie count. But they always expect a more profound answer.
I remember being in their shoes though. I knew that diet and exercise was the way to lose weight, but I couldn't possibly fathom living that lifestyle. So whenever I saw somebody who lost a dramatic amount of weight, I'd ask them how they did it. I always waited for an answer like "well, I switched my diet to cake, cookies, and pizza. I had strenuous channel flipping and chewing exercises. The weight just melted off." Lol...
A woman who is in my town, saw me after I got smaller and bellowed out (in front of people I didn't know) "OH MY GOD you lost a ton of weight, how did you do it??!"
I had a client, out of no where tell me "Whatever you do, don't listen to anyone else about how much you should weigh, I love big women." ..... um......
would ask those questions out of excitement 
for you! Because I would assume that you would be excited to share your good news. 
