[mizmizzy]

I am right there with you Paula, the same thing has happened to me - well 7 or 8 lbs crept back on me in the past 2.5 months that I had lost...things were going great and I was eating healthy and than emotional stress and a busy lifestyle suddenly stopped me from giving a crap about what I was eating and since than I have been eating ridiculousy bad, and recently looking over my bank statements realized I was eating out ALOT. I feel embarrassed by that and what a waste of Money really. So I am ready to find a new ground and start over the same as you. I don't know what to do other than keep a food journal again and just start spending more time on here, this site reminds me and inspires me to stick to my goals especially when I am having a craving! Best of luck, I can tell you are really beautiful and you should Feel that way and show it off, and so should I!!
<33

[ubergirl]

Like others on this thread, I can completely empathize with how you feel.

I let that little voice run my life for not just years but DECADES. I truly believed that I had no power over the voice. NONE. WHATSOEVER.

But it wasn't true. Just like anyone else, I could quit if I wanted it bad enough.

The trick for me, was to redefine the entire endeavor.

For YEARS, every time I passed up a piece of cake or something I wanted, I threw myself I mini pity party.

Poor, poor uber who can't ever have what she wants... even though everybody is eating cake, poor poor uber can't have any because she's FAT.... waaaaaah......

That uber used to feel so sorry for herself that pretty soon she was sneaking into the kitchen and cutting four or five "tiny" slivers of cake for herself and wolfing them down in the dark, then usually adding ice cream and crackers and whatever else was around. And that uber couldn't control herself. She didn't "want" to eat the cake, but she "had" to.

Somehow, in the whole weight loss and health realm, I had always defined myself as the victim. Every time I passed up a food it was a deprivation...whenever I let go and ate whatever I felt like eating, it was a reward. It took me a VERY LONG TIME to realize that.

I had to turn that paradigm around entirely. I had to finally (and yes, I'm a slow learner) realize that passing up the cake that was making me fat-- THAT was the reward. Licking up cake crumbs at night in the pale light of the refrigerator while hoping that nobody would come along and catch me in the act and then suffering with a life of morbid obesity-- that was NO reward.

Ever since I managed to reframe the problem, the voice leaves me alone almost all the time.

Good luck with your goals. This is absolutely doable. You just have to believe that you can.

[Windchime]

ubergirl, what a great post and a great description of how to re-frame the issue. I had to come to a similar realization myself. I finally turned it around by just telling myself that the voice in my head is my inner two-year-old. She can scream and throw a fit for the cake all she wants, but I am the adult in charge and *I* decide who gets cake, and when. Is it the birthday of someone in my immediate family? If so, I can have a piece of cake. Not 2 or 3 or 5 pieces; one piece.

You should hear my inner two-year-old when I go to Safeway. She is ALWAYS throwing a tantrum in the bakery department, trying to get me to buy carrot cake or a box of cookies. But just like I did when my own boys were toddlers, I have to be firm with her and remind her that cookies and cake are not healthy foods and we won't be getting any today.

Just because part of my mind wants something, doesn't mean that I have to relent and let it happen. Will I have some cookies during Christmas? Absolutely! My sister makes awesome frosted sugar cookies and I WILL be having a couple. But frosted sugar cookies are a Christmas Eve treat, NOT a daily treat. Carrot cake is for my birthday, not for every trip to Safeway.

This way of thinking has been really good for me. Because I'm not telling myself "No" or "Never!"....I am telling myself, "Not today." And that works for me. Usually.