I remember when I was in the 6-7th grade (not sure which year it was) but I sat next to a very overweight kid and I was always so insecure sitting in the school desks because my thighs would always hang over the side. Well one day out of the blue the kid next to me started calling me Pamzilla referring to my weight and my height. I remember wanting to cry the moment he said that to me. To this day it still bothers me but I have learned to embrace the old me and learn to move on it from it.
I've shared this before, but I was slim in high school - walked everywhere and was in great shape....you know, without even trying.
Anyway, my 'best friend' in high school had always been in love with this one guy, and she finally got him. They came here for a vacation (she still lives in England and I'm in Canada now) and we bent over backwards to help them out so he could propose and make it sweet.
When it came to the wedding (for which we'd planned for years) she called to tell me that, no offense, but she'd rather that I wasn't her maid of honour, after all, because she really wanted the wedding pics to be wonderful and I was so fat now that I'd ruin it. She said, "I mean, you know, I just want the pics to be really perfect, you know?".
I'm ashamed to say that I stayed friends with her for a good while - then finally saw the light and moved on.
As YourSummerDream says, girls can be amazingly mean to each other.
I remember 2 particular instances when I was a kid, I was chubby, maybe 15 pounds more than kids my age? In 5th grade, there was a boy Tony, he was so cute, and cool (5th grade cool ) and I think he treated me fairly and was okay, until the day it was time for 'snack' - you could buy a half pint of milk for 5 cents and a pack of 2 generic cupcakes for 10 cents more (yeah, this was 1971) Someone asked me if I wanted snack, and I was about to say yes, when Tony said "she doesn't need snack, she's fat." He said it so matter-of-factly.
Same year, had to go boot shopping with my mom. This was when a clerk took your shoe size and would supervise everything you tried on. He was trying so hard to pull a pair of boots over my fat calves. I mean he was struggling to do it. Why the **** couldn't he have seen it was hopeless and stopped? I can still feel and remember how my face was burning, I was so close to crying. Out in the parking lot I told my mom how bad I felt. She said something not too soothing, like "yes it was embarassing."
And a good, good girlfriend of mine, when I was in 6th grade...I spent Saturday night at her house, and she always went to church Sunday mornings, so I had to go with her. I had to borrow knee high socks to go with a skirt I borrowed. I was able to fit into one of her skirts (she wasn't super skinny, a healthy farm girl size) but afterwards...she told me that my "legs looked like fat sausages", from being in the tight white knee highs. That still hurts me she was a good friend.
Not exactly the same, actually a different story. Here goes.
When my twin boys were about 11, we were in a large Wal-Mart, in the process of checking out. I looked up and walking into the store was a very obese woman. Now that would not have been a big deal, but, her sweat pants did not come up nearly enough to cover up her tummy and she had on a sweat shirt that she had cut the band off of the bottom. To top it off she was braless and the bottom of her breasts, nips included were swinging in public view every step she took. All of this along with the fact that she was probably 6' tall, and was with a little 5'6" skinny dried up old guy.
While I'm trying not to look or say anything, my boys saw this and looked up at me. You can't even imagine the looks they had on their faces! I shook my head at them and put my finger to my mouth to shush them.
It was all we could do to get out of the store without saying something to one another.
I would never make a rude comment to an overweight person, or a handicapped person, you get the idea, but it was such a bizarre situation to explain to a couple of 11 year old boys.
The boys and I had a long talk on the way home, after the shock wore off.
There is no particular point to this story, just thought I'd share.
Really my only horror story happened this August. I had signed up for a biology class that would take us backpacking and hiking in the mountains, plains, and desert for 10 days. One day we were hiking some very nasty switch backs to get to out camp site near the top of a 14'er. I fell behind everyone early on, no big deal, I feel fine by myself. Well, twice on the hike my professor came back down the trail to take my pack so I could hopefully go faster. I was so mad!!! I he wouldn't let me get into camp with my own gear under my own steam. I was never more embarrassed in my whole life, and in front of my peers too!
Things didn't get better either, a couple days later we were standing around talking about what a great team everyone was and a comment was made regarding how a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. I felt like crying. That was the final straw. I am bound and determined to get this right. When I go on the winter snowshoe trip no one is going to be able to touch me.
Why this wasn't enough to get my ample rear in gear when it happened, I'll never know, but it wasn't...
Back in 2004, shortly before we moved to Oregon from California, we went to go see Crosby, Stills and Nash playing at the Santa Barbara Bowl, near where I used to live. Now, if you've ever been there, you know that it's a pretty good hike up to the Bowl, and a bit more of a hike to get up into the stands. We also had to park about 2 miles away. My husband and I went with another friend -- the two of them were skinny.
Well, needless to say, I'm huffing and puffing and generally holding them back as we make our way to the seating area... seating was first come, first served and I felt terrible. It was the first time my weight actually had a measurably negative impact on my life and the lives of those around me. I was so embarrassed. They were both outwardly kind and supportive, but I know their inner thoughts weren't so nice.
Next time I attend such a concert, I plan to JOG to the seating area -- and not be out of breath when I get there!!
Last year a waiter very rudely said "wow, that's a lot of food" and snickered when I ordered 3 rolls at a sushi joint. I was too mortified to say something back or talk to the manager.
I'm a teacher and I hear this comment every year when I get a new students: "Are you having a baby?"
And if I had a dollar for everytime someone said "You have such a pretty face, you would be a knockout if you lost some weight" I may be a very wealthy woman.
Oddly enough I never got any comments while I was big. My dad and mom would express worry every so often, and encourage me when I tried to lose weight.
No, the comments I'm getting are NOW...now that I weigh 140 (which is PERFECTLY ok for my height and my BMI is in fact in the "upper" region of "normal" for my height). People are so rude. I can't go anywhere without getting (from total strangers even)..."You've lost TOO much weight! Stop losing weight! You look sick! Your arms are like TWIGS! Why are you still trying!" I'm not...BTW..haven't lost a pound in more than a year.
It's hard to rebuild self-esteem when people apparently thought I looked better fat.
It's hard to rebuild self-esteem when people apparently thought I looked better fat.
The only time I got a comment was when I was 16 years old and weighed 155 pounds. A customer came into the store where I was working as a clerk and expressed amazement at how "big" I was (I was TALL, but not big!), and started quizzing me on what my parents feed me, how shocked he was at how big I was, how unusual I was, etc. My cheeks still burn at the memory of that....he was so rude.
And Mindi--I'm like 3" taller than you and 50 pounds heavier and I am getting comments about how I'm getting too thin. So let's just try to ignore those--it's ridiculous. I think that people are just used to seeing me fat for all these years.
There's countless foot-in-mouth things that have been said to me in the past, but this incident really sticks out the most because it happened on multiple occasions:
In high school I worked at the local Party City store and at the time i was about 17 or 18. There was a short line at the register and I was ringing up the purchases. The woman who I was ringing for had a small daughter in a stroller and asked when I was due. I gave her a confused look and realized she thought I was pregnant (That's just how I carry my weight, looking like I'm preggers. One day, hopefully, but not now.) I blushed and said something along the lines of "I'm not pregnant, I'm only 17." And the woman behind her (a heavy, heavy woman) INSISTED that I was pregnant. And she actually started to fight with me over why I was pregnant because she had "seen this type of thing before". My manager (a sleazy, overweight guy that was always grabbing my butt) had to come out and assure the woman that I. Was. Not. Pregnant.
You should answer him, "Are you sure you should have said that?"
I never think of these things until too late.
Excellent one!!! Yes, we usually do, but I will put this into the back of my mind for the next time!
I`m disgusted at the rudeness of some people! As a kid I had such comments ("Mainly my dad: "You`re way too fat to wear that, just look at the size of your legs!" and then comparing me to other girls, adding: "Be grateful to hear it from me! If you hear it from a boy you`ll hurt much more, I`m only doing you a favour!") but less so as an adult.
As a kid I stuck out but although I was not much heavier as an adult I blended in better because there are more large women than there are girls. I however remember being in Italy, trying the biggest blouse in a shop which did not fit. I asked the shop assistant for advice, and she looked at me with utter contempt and said something along the line of: "No, that`s the biggest ones we got. I don`t think we stock your size at all, even if you tried another model I don`t think we`d have anything which fits you!"
I've only ever gotten rude comments about my weight while out running in public. And then it's usually from kids. I've had teenage boys "moo" at me when I weighed 130lbs. I've had plenty of college-age guys pretend to hit on me, then comment and laugh amongst themselves, but I've seen them do that to thin girls, too, on occasion.
I'm not counting high school and earlier... I got plenty of comments then, but it was usually about being "ugly," not "fat," and I've forgotten most of them.
I think I shared this once before, but this one was too cute to be mad about: I was out running/walking (I think I was doing the C25K at the time) and two sisters were out playing, maybe 5 and 7 years old. The little one asked the older why I had stopped running, and the older one said "She thinks she's fat... so she runs then she walks then she runs again... so that she can be skinny."
) and I think he treated me fairly and was okay, until the day it was time for 'snack' - you could buy a half pint of milk for 5 cents and a pack of 2 generic cupcakes for 10 cents more (yeah, this was 1971) Someone asked me if I wanted snack, and I was about to say yes, when Tony said "she doesn't need snack, she's fat." He said it so matter-of-factly. 
she was a good friend.
