As someone who has "given up" too many times to count...
I had to get to know myself, and be brutally honest with myself.
Self-awareness is the key - know and love yourself...
Sounds like you need some successes (victory) breeds confidence...
Many good suggestions here by others - my 2c is just this....
You need to give yourself some victories to "build" the confidence...
For example, knowing myself... calling it a diet for me never worked...
Diets have a beginning and an end - if you know what I mean.
I had to change somethings and make small victories....
When I started - All I did was give up soda pop, no more sugar laden drinks.
Could have a diet soda, but never really liked them that much. Save diet A&W root beer that is.....
After several weeks, maybe even a month.... I was surprised - I didn't crave or even want pop anymore, tried a sip and it tasted awful....
VICTORY
I told myself, if I can change that - what else can I change? ok, no more eating after 7pm at least 3 hours before bed.... If I don't eat by 7 I am going to bed hungry.... ( I was a late night pizza junkie ) .... About 3 weeks later this change wasn't a problem..
VICTORY
BONUS - I will never "go on a diet" again!!! Victory - I am losing weight
Without a diet... Small victories -
I just looked to make some changes, nothing overwhelming change one thing at a time - prove to yourself you can do it - and celebrate each Victory!!
Don't settle for less -
You can be victorious !!!
Change one thing!
Prove it to yourself and celebrate!!
I'm going to address the topic of 'always thinking about food'.
Your body needs fuel. From food we make new cells that our bodies need to build all kinds of tissue ... skin, heart muscle, fingernails, hair ... You are never going to be able to do without food. Never!
You are ever mindful of the gas tank in your car. You need to make sure your bus pass is valid. Right?
When my kids were little I thought about food all the time. What to make for breakfast, what to pack for lunches, what to make for supper, what to eat for snacks, when to go to the grocery store, do I have any apples, when to start the roast, do I have enough time to make bread, how many muffins for the bake sale ...
I still need to plan my diet, grocery store trips, cooking times, packing my lunch for work ... And yes, I think about what to eat next. Of course I do.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. If I spend part of this morning planning food, buying food, cooking it and packing it properly ... I can dream about what to eat next because it's all in the fridge ready to go.
There is no stress attached.
Join a chat thread. Come here at least once a day. Take the encouragement everyone is offering and hold it close to your heart.
I don't think motivation is what you need. I think you need to make a plan for yourself and follow it religiously. Find out your daily caloric needs using online calculators (freedieting.com, sparkpeople.com, thedailyplate.com). Pick a range from these values and get a list of meals (variety is best!) that allow you to stick to these ranges. Freedieting has sample meal plans for a number of calorie ranges that can give you ideas.
If you are addicted to fast food and convenience foods, then start by incorporating more veggies, low fat milk/cheese, less butter and more healthy starches into your diet for 2 weeks while reducing the number of fast food meals/junk food. Make a bet with yourself that you can do this for 2 weeks. More important, STICK TO IT! Ignore motivation. For me, motivation comes when I see results on the scale, but it's really my determination to follow my plan that gets me the results, not motivation.
Once you have made these dietary changes for at least a month or so, then start exercising. It can be as simple as a 10 minute walk 3 days a week that you can increase every 2 weeks. The idea is to take small steps at a time. If you tell yourself that you will exercise for 2 hours everyday and eat only salads for lunch and dinner with 2 slices of toast for breakfast, you might feel overwhelmed and be more tempted to give up. That's what I did the last 5-6 times I tried to lose weight. This time, I've decided to eat what I want but in moderation. I make 90% of my meals at home and make sure they pack a nutritious punch. So far it's working, so I've found a plan that works for me. Finding a plan is tricky, but reworking your diet is fundamental.
Rockinrobin has some excellent words of advise on the issue of motivation v. commitment. I'll see if I can link you to her posts. It's really inspiring and true!
I totally understand where you are coming from! We both have a similar amount of weight to lose and it seems so daunting that giving up seems like the best option.
After a wake up call last week from my husband, I realized that I HAVE to take the OPTION of failure out of the equation. I have convinced myself that I HAVE to lose weight. There is no option and no room for failure. PERIOD. I feel like if I give myself the option to fail then I will choose to fail. So I'm determined to make healthy eating and exercising as vital and as normal as breathing. If I don't breathe I will die, just like I will if I continue to carry this weight around and continue gaining.
Do you remember when American Cancer Society ran a stop smoking campaign to "Never quit quiting"? Not even sure that was the phrase but basically it said every time you quit, you learn something even if you restarted and to apply it to the next time you quit.
Think about all the "failures" you have had at weight loss. What did you learn from them? A trigger food or habit that derailed you? Work on that habit first. Discover a few high nutrition filling foods that you liked? Incorporate them into your meal plan. An activity or exercise you didn't dread? Build an exercise program around that activity that you'll actually do.
I remember feeling that way and feeling I woudl have to accept the weight I was. At 308lb it was just too hard to accept I would stay that way forever so I decided to persist in weight loss while trying to accept my weight - turned out losing weight was easier for me than accepting I would be 308 lb forever.
I decided to count calories and do an exercise and when I "failed" (ie when I stopped losing weight again) I would just maintain for a while to take the pressure off myself and then try again. I had to examine myself to work out why every "diet" failed for me though and I'm sure it was because of my emmotional eating which I wasn't aware I was doing. My weight lsos hasn't stalled sicne March (from August til March I was maintaining due to recoverign from a broken ankle)
You're not a failiure though, as long as you persist and don't give up. Try and work out why you haven't been able to stick to any plan and work on those issues and fidn what works for you. I am sure you can do it.
Setting mini goals really helps me- rather than dealing with the whole weight you need to lose just deal with a little bit at a time.
Hey, Breanna,
I feel exactly that way right now - lots of teenager stress at home and lots of work stress at work right now and I just can't seem to get on track.
I've tried everything and the only thing that's really worked for me was the GI diet - basically because i was literally never hungry - and the weight fell off. It's hard for the first few days, but once i got in to it, I felt great. I'm really not good at being restricted and hungry - GI suggests planning to 'cheat' 10% of the time, as it's not a diet, but a lifestyle.
Don't think of it as failure, if you can't do it right now. Think of it as being on hiatus. When you're feeling more ready, you'll start back up again - until then, you're in a holding pattern.
Whats the GI Diet??? But maybe i dont want to know? It has the word diet in it. I dont want to feel like im dieting. For now I am going to go on 20 minute walks with my dog after work. He has to go out and walk and so do I. So day 1 completed. I did it today.
I think you're on the right track. Something that worked for me once was making one change at a time. First I gave up "bread things." Now, there are some pretty big loopholes in there. (Ice cream, candy bars, margaritas--but no chips!!--you get the idea!) But I didn't eat bread-things, which made pigging out just a little bit more inconvenient. I lost weight, without feeling deprived. Then, one by one, over time, I gave up other things. But by then, I was enjoying the results, so I didn't mind as much.
You need to answer your own question. Can you accept yourself as fat? At your height and weight you are considered to be pretty obese, aside from accepting yourself as "fat", can you live with the consequences to your health? If your answer to those questions is yes, then you are choosing to stay as you are, and that is your choice.
If your answer is no, then you need to make some changes. I would be more than happy to send you my email and "buddy up" with you for accountability. Like everyone else said, start with small changes. We are all here for you but you have to make sure that YOU are here for you.
You sound like the former me. For me, weight loss is 99% mental games. It's easy to know how to lose weight - the hard part is what our minds bring into the situation. We are all somewhat unique in our mental struggles with weight loss. This time, I finally realized WHY I kept failing. Thousands and thousands of thoughts run through our heads each day - we constantly carry on a mental conversation with ourselves. You would be surprised how much of the conversation is completely NEGATIVE. I had many, many negative thoughts about myself running around in my head. What I learned is that you become what you dwell on most. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are constantly thinking.. "I'm SO fat. I hate the way I look. I can't stand exercising. My hair is awful. I'll never be thin. I am a failure." ... then your subconscious mind directs you towards things that make that true.
Knowing this completely changed my attitude towards myself and my eating habits. It was a revelation - a HUGE thing for me. I didn't even realize just how many negative thoughts were there until I actually started listening to my internal conversation during the day. I still have some, and don't think anyone can ever be completely rid of them & 100% positive all the time. But, the difference is I listen to them, and immediately replace the negative with positive. I cannot tell you how much this has changed my thoughts about myself, and especially toward weight loss. It's really kind of freeing.
Anyway, here is a book that explains quite extensively about these mental games and this author is the one that turned me around:
Breanna -- that's a great start! I also found that I had to start small before I could really get going. Before I started losing weight, I started by simply taking supplements every day (which I hadn't done regularly and I felt was important if I was going to be restricting calories). Then I added drinking enough fluids. It was several weeks before I actually ate less, lol!
Also, regarding the thinking about eating problem -- gosh you have lots of company. I know that in the past (and even now, sometimes), I am thinking about what I will be eating next after I finish what I am eating! Whe I catch myself doing it now, I am able to stop but it's an easy habit to get into.
Keep on looking for small steps you can take to improve your health!
