Hello ladies (and gents)!
I've been lurking and posting here for a while now but an in need of some serious help... I'll start with some background info and then on to what my problem(or one of my many, many problems haha!) is.
Last fall or late summer someone challenged me that I couldn't drop some pounds. I've always been a big girl, but hadn't really noticed just how big I'd gotten. Being a fierce competitor, I began counting calories and exercising, but quickly into things, I had a big back injury. Physical exercise or even much movement became nearly impossible and extremely painful. Needless to say, I started at 256lbs (at 5'5" ) and by January was hovering around 205-210lbs with strictly counting calories. I spent two months on vacation abroad and with no way to cook my own meals I struggled... but still managed to stick around 200-205lbs by February. I've never been able to get back in the 'groove' since.
I'm now around 170 having been here for the past 3 months. I'm not really counting calories but I feel like I know what my calorie limit means in terms of what I eat day to day. I'm sticking to around 1200 cal/day which seems to be a very much maintenance point for me. No loss, no gain. I still have about 30lbs to lose but don't really think a 1000cal/day diet is too healthy. Some say pick up the exercise routine, but this isn't really an option for me. I'm young but am on the verge of getting complex back surgery in an attempt to correct some pretty debilitating problems. Walking for 5 minutes sometimes bring me to tears, biking feels like grinding nerves, and swimming is fine until I get out of the pool and it feels like I've died. I've been going to physical therapy 3 times a week for the past 9 months so this has included intense stretching and weight training. Between steroids, painkillers, and any one of the 20-some pills I take a day, I feel like pushing into a strict diet might be too much stress on the body.
I'm just lost. I need to get back on the weight loss wagon, but can't even find where to begin. I feel like I'm 'eating healthy' now with a diet rich in healthy proteins, fruits, veggies, and whole grains and very very low in processed foods and sweets but I'm not happy with the scale. I need lower numbers. I went from a size 22-24 and am now a 10 or 12 but still have obvious areas of fat. I've been working on strength training but there is still a good 30lbs to be lost in my eyes. I feel like it's normal to sink into a healthier lifestyle with a great exercise routine once you get to this point in weightloss but I can't really do that...
Anyone know of any good motivational books, blogs, or websites? I feel like I just need to get a swift kick in the butt to start back again.