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Old 08-03-2008, 04:08 PM   #1
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Old 08-03-2008, 04:12 PM   #2
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I think you should ask her to delete those pictures and if she doesn't forget about her and move on with your life. I think you look fine in those pictures and I'd say about 150 lbs if I was asked... but if you dont feel comfortable with them, then a true friend would accept that and delete those pictures. You can do so much better without people like her in your life..
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Old 08-03-2008, 04:18 PM   #3
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i agree with spoz, i dont think the picture is that bad, but the fact that she took it and put it on the internet is pretty nasty, and i think you should ask her to take them down
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Old 08-03-2008, 04:18 PM   #4
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Wow. Your friend is kind of a knucklehead. There is a possibility that she doesn't realize she is hurting your feelings, but some of the things she has done indicate she takes pleasure in the fact that you are larger than she is. When she says or does these things, you could say, "Do you realize you actually did that/said that out loud?"
By the way, you are VERY pretty, and your hair is gorgeous!
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Old 08-03-2008, 04:40 PM   #5
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Nobody needs 'friends' like that (I think the kids are calling them frenemies these days?). She probably pushes so hard to do stuff together because no one else will hang out with her. And why would they? She's a terrible friend, taking out her insecurities on people she's supposed to like! I'd cut her off in no uncertain terms, personally. You probably can't do anything about the Facebook images, but you don't have to associate with someone who treats other people like that.
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Old 08-03-2008, 05:56 PM   #6
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Yeah, I don't think she's a real friend. She's not acting like it. Tell her you want the photos deleted, please. And after she's deleted them, don't bother with her anymore. That's what I'd do.

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Old 08-03-2008, 06:18 PM   #7
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You look fine. Love your hair.

But what she did and said is nasty. It's coming from her own pain. I sure wouldn't want to look as good as her and still feel bad about myself. But if she pulls you down, you should avoid or limit time with her. You could try talking to her, but from the sound of it, she'll just then do something like take down the pics and post a comment that you made her do it because you thought you looked fat. You have to decide how you think she'll react and whether it's even worth it to try.

You are definitely worth high standards in your friends!
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Old 08-03-2008, 06:43 PM   #8
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Honey,
You look absolutely fantabulous in that picture and NOT like you are 220 pounds!!! I love your hair and your arms are so slender!
Look, I know everybody tends to look at pictures of himself/herself with a more critical eye than at pictures of others, so I just want to assure you are a gorgeous young lady with nothing to worry about!
But, I do agree that your friend's behavious was not very nice. I would consider it a violation of my rights and of the friendship itself if somebody posted pictures of me on the Internet especially when I wanted them deleted. That was not nice of her at all and you should request that she removes them immediately. I do understand how hurtful this feels.

Hugs.
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Old 08-03-2008, 06:46 PM   #9
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Oh sweetie, none of us look too flattering in pictures hunched over while we are eating! But you look just fine!

You are doing so well, don't let this person set you back!

her one for me
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Old 08-03-2008, 11:21 PM   #10
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I can see how you would be upset by that photo. I wouldn't say you look 220 pounds, but I think it was probably deliberately taken to not have you looking your best. Rather than a big explanation of how you feel, perhaps you could simply tell her that you don't like the photo and want her to take it down. If she asks why, you don't have to tell her it is because you think it makes you look heavy. You can just say you don't like it. You have a right to not like things, regardless of the reason.

Why are you around someone like this? And why does anyone allow her to photograph them?
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Old 08-03-2008, 11:34 PM   #11
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Some people need to make other people feel bad to make themselves feel better -- I think you found one of these people!! Life is too short to spend/waste time on someone who does not enrich your life

Ask her to please remove the pictures, which I have a feeling she will debate with you (because when she looks at unflattering pictures of others, apparently it makes her feel good about herself!!). And, move on. The next time she wants to hang out --feel free to tell her you have better plans!!!
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Old 08-04-2008, 06:36 PM   #12
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If you don't think a direct request to have her take down the photos would go well, you can at least de-tag yourself in the picture. While the pictures would still be accessible from her account, they wouldn't show up as photos of you when people look at your own profile.

And I agree, she doesn't sound like a friend I'd want to hang out with...
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Old 08-04-2008, 07:13 PM   #13
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Old 08-04-2008, 07:35 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vikkivma View Post
Thank you very much -- I love a love/hate relationship with my tresses, but I kind of feel like Jo March in the sense that they've always been my one good feature at any weight (not that Jo was fat... I love how I'm saying this like I might offend her. lol.)


Quote:
Originally Posted by vikkivma View Post
I think she did know what she was doing, especially since the caption below the picture read, "Hehe."
What a weirdo.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vikkivma View Post
My very sweet friend (the one she called "fat" who is absolutely gorgeous, and shown in the first post) always makes sure she tells me how much better I'm looking when she sees me.
Ahh, I thought the girl in the pic was the "friend" posting your pics and that *she*thought she was fat. Oops, misread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vikkivma View Post
I'm going to go the passive-agressive route and avoid contact. I just feel that any response gives her a sense of power and accomplishment.
And worse, it keeps you engaged in her negativity. Sounds to me like you really are in a good place with your self-esteem. Way to go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vikkivma View Post
And on top of that, it was good timing on her part (for me) because I had reached an all-time low since I was 15 in my weight the day she posted them, so I wasn't exactly feeling horrid..
Poetic justice. "Hehe" as she would say

Quote:
Originally Posted by vikkivma View Post
She routinely asks me to have lunch with her, spend time with her, etc. so it's ironic that she's the one being nasty since she spent so much effort to be around me.
She thinks she found someone to dump on. But too bad she's wrong.
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Old 08-04-2008, 08:17 PM   #15
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You don't need need negativity, especially on a journey as difficult and demanding such as this. Someone like that thrives on digging for comments and feeling better about themselves by putting others down. You have come so far and look GREAT! I cannot wait until I am down to 185. You should be so proud of yourself and stand up to her- don't give up what you've worked for because of the haters!!!
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