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Need help keeping a good attitute!!

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Old 07-30-2008, 07:01 AM   #1
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Default Need help keeping a good attitude!

I just saw pictures and was shocked at how big I have allowed myself to get. What a wake up call!

I've been trying to find a plan that works for me, and I have definitely realized that for whatever reason, I do not have staying power. I start off full steam and by the end of the week, I lose motivation or am frustrated and give up. I want to end this cycle!

I am a mom to a 19-month-old with a home-based career, and if I get off track even a little bit in my life, I have a really hard time maintaining healthy habits, a quality I really don't like about myself.

I know what I need to do and how to do it, but I just can't seem to keep my head in the right place. Help!!!???
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Old 07-30-2008, 07:21 AM   #2
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Hey chick!

Oh, those terrible photos... Been there for sure! Reality is hard to take at times.

Tell us a bit about what you've tried in the past. Is it that you just lost steam after a week, or were the things you were trying too restrictive? Maybe we can help point you in a better direction.

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Old 07-30-2008, 07:33 AM   #3
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Oh, I have tried EVERYTHING! WW, South Beach, calorie counting, not calorie counting... I don't really think that problem is that I'm too restrictive, with calories at least, at this point... I think my main problem is that I have tried and failed so many times, for so many years, that there is a part of me that flat out does not think I can do it.

Weekends are a particular problem. I seem to give myself free passes for the weekend, which I know is ridiculous and doesn't work, but every time the weekend rolls around, I put weight loss on the back burner. I guess by Friday, I feel like I'm tired of thinking about it (I feel like I always have to analyze what I'm eating, and it gets tiring... as you all probably know!!). My husband and I eat junk food, takeout, drink wine... basically live it up from Friday through Sunday.

I generally eat healthy meals Monday through Friday, so my problem those days is usually snacking. Weekends are just a disaster. And, if I've had a particularly long or stressful day, I tend to reward myself with food.

I'm home with my daughter all day, which I love, but I'm having trouble finding an outlet when I'm tired, anxious, etc. during the day. When I was in an office, I would just muddle through until I got home, and then at night I used to read, take a bath, talk on the phone, etc. I'm finding it hard to mudle through on bad days because the fridge is always there! Food is just playing way too big a role in my life.

I completely realize what I'm doing, even when I'm doing it, but I seem to have trouble stopping!

Sorry for the long post, but hopefully someone will be able to relate and have some advice. I want to lose this weight and lead a healthy, active lifestyle so much. What is stopping me???
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Old 07-30-2008, 09:15 AM   #4
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Hmmm...pardon the tough love here, but what is stopping you is yourself.

Been there, done that.

I have to schedule and plan my foods and stick to the plan. I am NOT perfect, but when I slip up, I get right back on the plan. You have to want to lose weight more than you want to have a free pass for the weekends. Next time you are eating something that you did not plan to eat, tell yourself "I am making the choice to eat this. I can choose to stop or to continue. I am in charge."

You might stop eating it or you might not, but either way you will take ownership of your behavior. And the first time you decide to NOT participate in that behavior, I hope you will find true liberation. You really are the one in charge. When you are ready, you will change.

Good luck!
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Old 07-30-2008, 09:25 AM   #5
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waterskier chick, I have to agree with midwife.

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I think my main problem is that I have tried and failed so many times, for so many years, that there is a part of me that flat out does not think I can do it.
No--it's that part of you doesn't want to do it, and so you keep on failing. What you're doing is sabotaging yourself--who else decides to give you the weekend off? Who else would decide that it's OK to join your husband in his pursuit of junk food, wine, etc. I don't think there's anyone there holding you hostage...

It sounds to me like you've developed an unhealthy relationship with food--instead of being what you eat in order to live, it's become an outlet, a solace, a good time.

Basically, you're going to have to find a way to change your habits. No one can change them for you. You've tried "everything" but not stayed with any of them. That doesn't mean you can't try again. Get yourself a plan and stick with it maybe consider rejoining WW and doing their Core plan for awhile. Perhaps you should also find a counselor who specializes in food issues to help you work things out. Just some ideas! I'm afraid there aren't any other ways around it that will work as well...

Good luck!

Jay
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:01 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midwife View Post
Hmmm...pardon the tough love here, but what is stopping you is yourself.

Been there, done that.

I have to schedule and plan my foods and stick to the plan. I am NOT perfect, but when I slip up, I get right back on the plan. You have to want to lose weight more than you want to have a free pass for the weekends. Next time you are eating something that you did not plan to eat, tell yourself "I am making the choice to eat this. I can choose to stop or to continue. I am in charge."

You might stop eating it or you might not, but either way you will take ownership of your behavior. And the first time you decide to NOT participate in that behavior, I hope you will find true liberation. You really are the one in charge. When you are ready, you will change.

Good luck!
Excellent advice. For me, planning is the absolute KEY to success.

Recognize that changing your habits will be hard and expect to feel some mental (and sometimes physical) discomfort at the beginning but also know that is will get easier the more you stick with your plan! Good luck!
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:08 AM   #7
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The Beck Diet Solution is a great book to give you the motivation and tools to lose weight with any diet. I highly recommend it. Meal planning for all days is a must and so is scheduling time for exercise. Motivation has to come from within. Keep a food diary and write down all the BLTs. You have a 19-month old - it's getting time to teach good eating habits to your child and you have to set the example. Good luck!
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:13 AM   #8
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I agree 100% with midwife as well - that is the change I made in my own life, and I have experienced a lot of success with it so far (to my own surprise!).

One day I realized just how much power I (and each of us) have......you make thousands of decisions each day, including what you stick in your mouth and the type of attitude you're going to have. No one is forcing you to be miserable; you can choose to have a positive outlook! As some have said on 3FC......your body is capable of almost anything; it's your MIND you have to convince.

My advice is to get your entire family on the right track. Ask your husband if he would be willing to make some healthier choices, which would include NOT eating all that junk food on the weekends. Go shopping together for nutrient-dense foods and try to keep the chips and cookies out of the house (or at a minimum). Don't look at weight loss as a burden you are carrying all alone - you can turn it into something that will bring your family together! And I'm sure you all want to be healthy so that you can be there for one another in the long run.

My mom always told me that "If you really want something, you'll find a way." You said that you want to lead a healthy lifestyle "so much," so yeah, the only thing stopping you is YOU right now!

I know you can do this, but you need to decide right here and now that you WILL make a lifestyle change instead of picking a diet to follow for a week and then give up. No one does a 180-degree turnaround when they start their WL journey, it's all about baby steps.....so don't feel like you need to start running 10 miles a day or anything in order to see progress. Just start incorporating more and more healthy choices into your routine. Replace your white bread with whole wheat at lunch, eat an apple with peanut butter for a snack instead of a bag of chips, take the stairs instead of the elevator...you get the idea. In my own experience, it has turned into a fun puzzle for me to figure out: What kind of exercise can I work into my schedule today? What do I need to eat at lunch in order to get the most nutrients for the quantity I am eating?

Good luck!! Remember that you can always post here if you need anything...
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Old 07-30-2008, 10:26 AM   #9
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Yup. Gotta agree with everyone else ... the problem here is "I can't".

Quote:
I completely realize what I'm doing, even when I'm doing it, but I seem to have trouble stopping!
No one else can stop for you. It's the sad fact that only you can decide to stop or not to stop.

One thing that helps me (and I've posted this here before) is that I stopped thinking about eating well and exercising as an option. I started thinking of them as just one of the many things I do as a responsible adult. Things that aren't necessariliy things I *want* to do, but that I just have to - things like paying the bills and brushing my teeth and doing the dishes.

Once I made eating well and exercising part of that equation, it became a little easier to just do it.

.
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Old 07-30-2008, 11:09 AM   #10
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Aside from the good advice already given, I have this to offer: be patient with yourself.

I know that when I finally got fed up with being overweight and feeling like crap about myself because of it, I was desperate to drop the weight fast. I wished the weight could just melt away in a week, and that I could suddenly be the fit person I knew was hiding inside all that flab.

But I also knew that the weight didn't magically appear overnight, and it wasn't going to go away that fast either.

And after almost 5 months of doing this, I still have to remind myself to be patient: the weight will come off, even if it's only a pound a week, or less. I have to continually remind myself that even if I only lose 4 pounds a month, at the end of that month I will be happier that those 4 pounds are gone than if I'd just given up and let them stick around.

Along the same lines--Your bad habits didn't develop overnight. Learning new ones won't either. It's not easy to replace unhealthy behaviors with better ones, but the results are well worth it.

None of us here are perfect. Most of us didn't wake up one morning with a magic solution which made us into people who eat perfectly all the time, make good choices all the time, and work out all the time. Most of us still make mistakes, have set-backs, and yes--get frustrated.

But most of us are also learning how to just grit our teeth and keep going, no matter what. We've stopped making excuses as to why we can't do it, and just started doing it. It's what we need to do, and what you need to do too.

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Old 07-30-2008, 01:14 PM   #11
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Thanks everyone! I think that is just what I needed to hear.
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Old 07-30-2008, 01:27 PM   #12
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I just wanted to add something too. I skimmed through the other posts, so not sure if this was already mentioned, but for me, I have to exercise. You should do it during the week, but make sure that on the weekends, you start the day with a great workout. Then, you'll feel stupid sabotaging your efforts. That's at least how I feel. My hubby and I take turns watching the kids while each one of us gets to workout in the morning. If we have a babysitter, we sometimes use our time to workout together. It is awsome, considering that we used to spend our time eating burgers and ice cream on the weekends. Finally, I would suggest you don't drink alcohol at all because it really messes with the whole weight loss thing...at least in the beginning. Occasionally, glass of wine or light beer might be ok, but not in the initial stages of weight loss. Good luck!
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