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I feel I am turning paranoid.

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Old 07-27-2008, 01:07 PM   #1
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Angry I feel I am turning paranoid.

Ok this is weird.

My eating plan so far was like this. Monday to Saturday my caloric intake maximum is 1500 calories. On Sunday I allow myself to go up to 1800. That allowed me to eat something sweet or a take-away for the week and not feel deprived. I was happy with how it was going. I lost weight so far and I did not feel deprived at all.

Yet lately I feel I am going paranoid. When I eat my sweet, I feel immensely guilty for eating it. If I go over 30% of the daily amount of fat, I feel like I am a glutonous scumbag.

I started my weight loss trip 5 years ago at 240 kg and it is only now that I feel so strongly this urge to punish myself. I used to be proud with the fact that I managed to de-villainise the concept of food in my head. I feel like a loon! What's is happening to me?
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Old 07-27-2008, 01:19 PM   #2
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My dear niece KATERINA

That is just the demons putting evil thoughts in your head!

Those caloreis for every day are well within range for you. You are surely entitled to treat yourself with an additional 300 calories once a week.

Don't allow the demons to get ahold of you! Rebuke them!

You have done so well and will continue to do so...YOU are in charge!

Have a great day ~ Uncle Gary
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Old 07-27-2008, 01:24 PM   #3
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You shouldn't feel that way at all. Having a cheat day or a cheat meal a week is excellent for the metabolism. It keeps your body from getting used to X amount of calories a day. Think of it being good for your body; it is as long as it's once a week.

No need to punish yourself. You should reward yourself. You've been doing great!

Last edited by Taurie : 07-27-2008 at 01:25 PM. Reason: type-o
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Old 07-27-2008, 02:03 PM   #4
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I know that a cheat day is good, I simply can't explain this thing lately. It is as if my brain goes "How Dare You Eat That!"
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Old 07-27-2008, 02:06 PM   #5
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Yeah, I have been having the same problem lately. I have never had trouble losing weight with a weekly "splurge" day/meal, but I still feel guilty when I do it, even though it is part of my plan, AND it works.

That was not very helpful advice from me. Actually, it wasn't advice at all. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone in feeling this way.
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Old 07-27-2008, 02:11 PM   #6
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I kind of just went through the same thing in the last hour. Monday- Saturday I am very strict with my calories, I am very particular of what I eat that I barely have dessert or anything sweet. Maybe twice or thrice a week I'll treat myself to a fat-free pudding. Anywho, today is my Scrumptious Sunday! The one day that I am not allowed to think about calories and just enjoy eating. It's a tradition that I make pancakes Sunday morning, so I did. Usually, its great and I feel good that I was good all week and I totally deserved this. BUT I started to feel guilty when my boyfriend didn't finish off his breakfast and I did! (we had the same amount) I know it isn't a big deal and I'm not allowed to care, but I got pretty upset that I just out-ate my boyfriend.

We just have to keep in mind that we can eat whatever the **** we want, its Sunday! The other 6 days of the week we can eat whatever we want, we just choose not to because we have goals.

Without Sunday, even just the thought of looking forward to it, my mind would be going crazy all week.

Enjoy today!!
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Old 07-27-2008, 02:49 PM   #7
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Whenever I start feeling like my old unhealthy attitude toward food has just popped up out of nowhere, I pull out a Geneen Roth book for support. Usually there's something in there that can help me re-examine what I'm doing and feeling. Now that I'm in a different mental place, the books have a different affect on me - I can see them and use them in a whole different way.

Are there any tools that helped you "de-villainise" food and reach the point that you're at now? Maybe it would be useful to take another look at them.

Lisa
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Old 07-27-2008, 03:04 PM   #8
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One of my most dangerous traps is the "all or nothing" mindset. In my case it starts being "all food is bad, not eating anything is always better". It is a trap because it is undoable ultimately.

This sounds pretty normal to me, one of the things that I used to do with food is not only to enjoy it, but to punish myself with it. (The "I took all that candy and now I have to finish every bite whether I want it or not because I am a lazy gluttonous pig" concept.)

Stop when you hit these moments and remind yourself of the more rational thoughts. You are not a gluttonous scumbag, you are a disciplined person who can make daily adjustments and still maintain a healthy lifestyle. Keep your victories in your mind. Try to change your thinking, actively!
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Old 07-27-2008, 03:37 PM   #9
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Hey!

Are you trying to make eating "sinful"? It isn't, you know. Tell those ideas to simply take a hike. There is no need for them. You are doing fine--you are following your plan. This is ONLY FOOD we're talking about--it's not like you've been doing horrible things!

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Old 07-27-2008, 11:17 PM   #10
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I have been thinking about this niece KATERINA...since family was here all day for our monthly get together

I know "cheat day" is just an expression but I'm thinking it isn't cheating if you are conscientiously doing it. As I said before you are in control, you are the one saying I can have this XXXXX because I want/deserve/desire it and yes it puts me over my limit but I am going to walk more/run/skip rope/ whatever to compensate for it...or not, if I choose to.

For me personally, and this is only ME speaking, I just don't like the idea of calling it cheating...I'm not guilty of anything! I want to do it...I am making good decisions for myself...I am not perfect...I will turn those extra calories into a run/walk!

Later ~ Uncle Gary
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Old 07-28-2008, 02:01 AM   #11
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wish i could stick to a cheat once a day rather than nibbling on bisuits everyday!....
this weeks boot camp....
no nibbling and half hour walks at luch time....
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Old 07-28-2008, 03:32 AM   #12
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i feel guilty too! But for me thats kinda a good thing, keeps me in check. If i've had a good day or week, and i have room (ie i have fat allowance left over) then i have a little little bit of what want, a small piece of cake or a couple of biscuits. If you've worked hard like i am sure you have, then you definately deserve it! And if you see yourself gaining weight again, just hold back again. Thats what i do ^_^
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Old 07-28-2008, 06:16 AM   #13
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Is this different from mindful eating?

I've found that the more I learn about nutrition and 'healthy body care' the more aware I am of the effect each morsel has on me. Not so that it monopolizes each moment of each day but ... I knew that slice of pizza wasn't my best choice. Next time I'll plan better.

However .... I'm not a treat day person. The odd goodie yes, but not a whole treat day.
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Old 07-28-2008, 08:01 AM   #14
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Thank you all for your support. I love this community for its great support.

LisaF - My dad took me to meditation courses when I was 10 and I always followed the I could do anything if I want to course of thinking. And yes when I decided to lose weight with all my heart in 2005 it is this way of thinking that kept me going. I think the de-villain moment happened when I was reading Alan Cohen's book"The Dragon doesn't live here anymore" where he says that we need to love the choices we made whether it has to do with food, love, career etc and I had this moment when all made sense because yes food has calories but when we choose to indulge a little, we should enjoy that treat, that day, rather than beating ourselves afterwards.

Wow that said, I feel much better. Maybe, I should follow my own advices more often.

Susan B - Now that I think of it, I have started feeling a bit paranoid since I started keeping a journal that examines all the fat and nutrients down. I think I feel guilty because rather than eating all those calories in the chocolate (for example) I could have eaten... I don't know... a kilo of cherries?
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Old 07-28-2008, 11:12 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preetyladyserenity View Post
Maybe, I should follow my own advices more often.
I feel this way constantly!
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