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Took pictures of myself in bikini tonight - reality sucks

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Old 06-23-2008, 09:33 PM   #1
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Default Took pictures of myself in bikini tonight - reality sucks

I bought the Body for Life book, it has you have someone take pictures of yourself in a bikini to start the 12 week challenge. The author says there's a difference between what we think we look like and reality, and in my case that's SO TRUE. My little boy took the pictures, lighting was horrible, tilted, etc but still THAT'S ME. I'm living in the past, I thought I only had maybe 8-10 lbs to lose and THIS is 20 lbs plus major toning up. The weight is mostly in my mid section, the worst place to carry fat health wise.

I know that I'm getting older, but I had no clue I was living SO MUCH in the past, my image of myself. In my 20s I had a bikini figure, went to college in Calif. and hung out on the beach. Could eat what I wanted, other girls were envious as they dieting, I never had to until 30 or so even learn to count a calorie. Seems that I'm now almost 40 lbs over what I was then. Ok back then my weight was too thin, but still it's a good 20+ lbs heavier then I need to be even for my age having had a child.

So to work we go. I'm REALLY going to lose the weight this time and tone up. If I don't make it with the first 12 week challenge I'll start over again as I"m traveling a lot this summer for work. I want to be fit for the rest of my life, not some big blob - and believe me I won't be a big blob in a bikini on the beach though as NO ONE will see me in one! How about getting in shape to wear one again? Even a cute tankini instead of a digusting Miracle Suit that supposedly takes 10 lbs off and actually if my boy took a pic of me in that I highly doubt it.

Dang, reality sucks.
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Old 06-23-2008, 09:43 PM   #2
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Photos can be revealing. But they can also spark change.

I'm sorry you feel so badly about yourself now. You've already lost weight and made a big difference in your body, whether you're 100% thrilled right now or not. Try to be kind to yourself, and keep working toward your goals. You WILL get there.
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Old 06-23-2008, 09:46 PM   #3
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im glad you come back i was really missing your post after the crash .im up for challenge.
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Old 06-23-2008, 09:54 PM   #4
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Hey horsey,

Ahhh, be kind to yourself. I agree with Amanda...

Recognition of the need to change is a big step towards health. I know that you know what to do. I also know how beautifully you have incorporated change in the past and how much you want to set a healthy example for your boy.

Deep breath. Baby steps.

I have had similar "yikes" moments. Our brains fill in images and it is only when we see ourselves in a different medium that we recognize reality. I have a picture from Mother's Day a year ago that appalled me into action. Maybe someday if I am very brave I will post it on here as a before picture.

I only know a little bit about body for life, but I understand that it is a weightlitfting program. We would LOVE to see you in the weightlifting forum. Building solid muscle will make you smaller even if the scale doesn't fly down 20 pounds. I hope you love weightlifting as much as I do.

Peace, deep breaths, and a . We've got your back, horsey.
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Old 06-23-2008, 10:00 PM   #5
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Someone complimented me this winter on how thin I was, I'm the master of disguise, a black blazer, jeans and a white tee and I can look 10-15 lbs thinner because I still have long thin legs. But yikes in a bikini long legs with a fat belly don't look that good. Ok, I'll admit after having seen Sex in the City, the movie I read that Samantha who had gained weight really stuck her tummy out for some of the pictures (and the really gross close up was a body double too), I did THAT too. I wanted the pic to look awful so I put the bottom of the bikini down so a big blob would hang out - it's a before/after picture challenge. BUT that I could look that out of wack is bad. Even if I REALLY wore a bikini I'd wear a halter top and higher cut bottoms and really I wouldn't look THAT bad. Either way it's still REALITY. I didn't WORK to cover up fat that I've become a fashion expert at. Maybe this is what I NEED to really rev it up!
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Old 06-23-2008, 10:02 PM   #6
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Yes I do enjoy weight lifting, Body for Life is a weight training program using pyramids so it's quite tough, for beginners but not really. You really work hard in this program. I'm going to give it a shot, I've weight trained before and loved the results, then yo yoed and "lost it" the progress. Well pictures in a bikini I'll never wear again that was ONLY for these pics... hurts, sucks and life goes on.
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Old 06-23-2008, 10:56 PM   #7
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horsey, I know you didn't like what you see in those photos. I don't like what I see in the mirror either, sometimes. But don't hate your body. Remember that our bodies are miracles, doing exactly what they are supposed to do. If they have gone awry with shape and poundage, it's because of choices we made, not because they are "bad." Love your body, and help yourself to become strong and healthy.



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Old 06-23-2008, 10:59 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JayEll View Post
horsey, I know you didn't like what you see in those photos. I don't like what I see in the mirror either, sometimes. But don't hate your body. Remember that our bodies are miracles, doing exactly what they are supposed to do. If they have gone awry with shape and poundage, it's because of choices we made, not because they are "bad." Love your body, and help yourself to become strong and healthy.



Jay
That is a GREAT post. Thank you. We ALL need to remember this!
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Old 06-23-2008, 11:34 PM   #9
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Oh I still LIKE my body, covered up! I'll admit sometimes I've been at beaches, seen people in swim suits then dressed up later at resorts and thought, wow, night and day. Clothes do wonders to highlight and disguise assets. But a tiny bikini, not many can do it anyways after 30 or so right? Well no excuses, I DON'T like what I see so forward we go. I won't get back into low self esteem mode though over pictures like THIS. I think the Body for Life author has a POINT to having people take pictures before and after. The before pictures he says to put on the fridge, which I WON'T do.. but I can see the motivation to change. REALLY if one worked out intensely 3 months through the program or another, and ate clean there SHOULD be dramatic changes. Unfair thing is when people complete the challenge and turn in new pictures, they use professional photographers... Well we all know what to do about our weight issues WORK, WORK, WORK. There's no easy way and as for me I'm going to do a HARD challenge for awhile here to see if I can kick my butt in the butt!
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:25 AM   #10
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Old 06-24-2008, 09:47 AM   #11
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Good Luck Horsey! But you can do it!!! We all can, just takes some will power and of course a few slips here and there, its life and its a choice we are making to change ourselves....just remember it took how long to gain, it will take twice as long to lose so it stays off. Rome wasn't built in one day, Right?
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:46 AM   #12
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Wearing a bathing suit, especially a bikini, is incredibly revealing. Just above being naked. And that's a hard thing to do out in public!! I bet the population of people who are overjoyed and ecstatic with the way that they look in a bikini is miniscule.

Luckily, we don't spend much time in one of those things. And we DO have the opportunity to find clothing that hides our so called flaws, and flatters us.

I'm with the others. LOVE yourself and that body of yours this very minute. Our bodies will never, ever be perfect. And luckily, they don't have to be.
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Old 06-24-2008, 11:56 AM   #13
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Pictures do reveal a lot that is what made me start my weight loss journey! I just couldnt stand the way I looked in pictures so in many ways it motivated me! Im only at the start of my journey but I am confident that I will reach my goal! One day at a time you can do it!!!!!!!!
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Old 06-24-2008, 12:07 PM   #14
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I read a book by Bobbi Brown the makeup artist and and some point she said it's fair to lie to ourselves a little bit and I do. I don't have bright lights in my bathroom as I'd see those tiny wrinkles. Oh they don't bother me that much but why stare at them. I use soft lights. Also I don't have a full length mirror and I hate those three way mirrors at dressing rooms, with the neon lights too. If I need to look at my outfit I stand on the tub and sort of see the entire picture. I always emphasize my long legs and cover up my upper body with darker clothes because I'm bigger on top. For awhile my hobby was studying fashion books like What Not to Wear, etc and figuring out what colors and what looks best on me. Got it down to a science almost.... should have been exercising instead of this "hobby" of mine. But in the real world MOSt women wouldn't like what they see in a bikini. I'm living in the past because I used to love my figure in a bikini in the good old days. SO the only way at my age those days won't be completely over for life is if I REALLY work out, lose the final 10-20 lbs and stay in shape. I've already noticed getting in the swing of eating clean, that my face and hair looks better. I quit the Fat Tire beer, as I do believe this is partly a beer belly, like a man's. Not good. Not healthy. I've had a lot of stress in life, so I'm going to take that stress and use nutrition and exercise to beat it. Not sitting around moping, I seem to go in moping/eating spurts. Well I'm excited about my new challenge, I'm on offical day two and am feeling good. Since I run a company I like having a plan that I know has worked for many, something concrete to follow with some rules. Before I didn't like rules, hated discipline and thus the out of shape body and home.
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