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Old 03-08-2008, 11:11 AM   #1  
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Default Just a rant, I feel so low.

Hello everybody. It's been a few months since I posted...I've been busy and not been on the board and just haven't had much to say. Plus, I haven't been eating good and it's a matter of shame too. Mine is probably a familiar story: I'd been eating pretty well for a while, logging my food and etc. Then school started and I lost my groove. My husband and I started eating out more and I began craving bags of chips and going to the store specifically to get them and then would come home and eat almost the whole bag. We have stayed away from buffets, though, since Jan 1st.

I lost my way and felt hopeless, like I'd never find my way again even though I knew what I needed to do to succeed. I still feel a little hopeless. Last night, I had a nice healthy soup on the stove but my hubby couldn't wait until it was done and wanted to go get Carl's Jr. What did I do? I agreed. And I got the biggest meal that I could get: a $6 Western Bacon Cheeseburger and a large fry. I hated myself afterwards. A couple of weeks ago, we went to an OA meeting. We had been to them in the past, we were going regularly for about 8 months but then gave up about 2 years ago.

I just wanted to say that I feel hopeless. I need to find out why I am eating this way, there is some emotional thing inside that is causing this. I need to find better coping mechanisms.

I think one thing that will help is if I make time to come here every day and read the posts. Maybe that will spur me into action again.

Thanks for reading this. btw, my ticker is wrong now, I gained about 6 lbs back.
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Old 03-08-2008, 11:14 AM   #2  
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I am sorry you're feeling this way. I send you all the support a cyber friend can!
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Old 03-08-2008, 11:22 AM   #3  
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Don't feel hopeless!!!! You CAN get back into the swing of things. If we all quit everytime we fell off the wagon, then there'd be absolutely ZERO success stories around here. ZERO. Remember, it only takes one time to get this weight loss thing "right". And luckily we get as many chances at it as we need. So, please - feel HOPEFUL.

Get back to it. You know. Start logging your food again. Ridding your house of the junk. Adding in good healthy delicious foods. Having a PLAN for the entire day. Having a plan when stress hits. Having a plan when happiness hits, or boredom or hunger. Do you get the feeling that I'm heavy into planning? That's because I firmly believe that eating healthy does not happen by chance. That it MUST be planned for in advance.

All right now, so no feeling hopeful. Feel EXCITED. Start making some changes and you can absolutely CHANGE your life.

And yes, come to 3FC every day, several times a day. We're all here for you.
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Old 03-08-2008, 12:41 PM   #4  
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Originally Posted by SoulBliss View Post
I am sorry you're feeling this way. I send you all the support a cyber friend can!
Thanks, Soul...I appreciate that, it helps.

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Originally Posted by rockinrobin View Post
If we all quit everytime we fell off the wagon, then there'd be absolutely ZERO success stories around here. Get back to it. Start logging your food again. Ridding your house of the junk. Adding in good healthy delicious foods. Having a PLAN for the entire day. Having a plan when stress hits. Having a plan when happiness hits, or boredom or hunger.
You know, for the longest time (since last May!) I was falling and getting back up over and over. I thought I had learned to not give up, but I just got so sick of falling off and it got harder and harder to get back up. I gained back most of the weight I had lost. I am off to a good start this morning: My hubby and I went for a walk around the neighborhood and then came home and had egg white, spinach and feta omelettes with an english muffin. I also put it in Fitday for the first time in months. In Fitday, I put in all my customized foods for the week so that I won't have to enter them during the week (that is one of the excuses I used to get out of logging), all I have to do is choose that item from the database. I think that will help a lot. You know what is crazy, Robin, is that I don't have any junk in the house, and haven't the whole time...what happens is I get an intense craving for bad food and run out and get it. I need to just stay away from it for a few weeks and it will get easier to resist, I think. The more I eat it the more I crave it. I've got a plan for the week for food, all relatively healthy foods (500 cal or less meals) and healthy snacks. I am going to the grocery store today to get my foods. I think I will sit down and actually make a plan, like you suggested...a plan for the different moods...and then tape it to the fridge. Thanks for your support.

btw, I changed my ticker now...I weigh 226 now.
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Old 03-08-2008, 12:59 PM   #5  
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I sympathize -- I think we've all been there!

Any idea what sets you off? I've learned I'm a stress eater. It helps when I have a handful of veggies to munch on when I'm feeling stress -- so I try to plan for that on days I know will be tough!
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Old 03-08-2008, 02:52 PM   #6  
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Hey trooworld -- welcome back to the fold. I'm at the same place you are now. Lost it, gained it back, lost it, gained it back, am losing it once again and this time for the final time. I'm sick of this nonsense; I'm eating better forever not just so I can return to being a little piggy. The tube has been compromised and I'm getting outta the fattie foodie tube NOW!

I felt awful sulking back here; like a complete loser failure. I completely bagged this site for a really, really long time cause I was so embarassed that I had let all my hard work go down the drain. Now I'm even trying to post when things are not going my way -- I used to just post when everything was fab. Oy!

Can't say enough about planning. Planning and eating mindfully; paying attention and getting right back on track when slipups happen -- and boy o boy they will happen. Such is life. I love browsing around here and reading other's stories. Glory87 has posted her very long story in the Goals section. Well worth the read; very informative and inspirational.

Figuring out what triggers your cravings is crucial. I'm a closet eater. Can do fine all day, eating out, parties, etc but get me alone w/no one around and call me Hoover. I'm working on it every single day. One day I hope I don't have to but for now, that's the plan.

Stick around, read alot, chat alot, plan a TON. In the words of Tony (what-a-dork) Little: You can do it!
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Old 03-08-2008, 07:06 PM   #7  
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I don't know if this will help at all, but I'll tell you what works best to keep me from eating out: sodium content. I started watching the sodium content of what I was eating, and sort of arbitrarily set myself a limit of 200mg of sodium, max, per serving. Lot of good foods in that range, but take a look at just about anything take out or "heat and eat": 500mg, 1000mg +, ack! I don't want to be puffed up like a baloon, not to mention the ankles. For years, my ankles have been swollen up every night. I assumed it was age, poor circulation, etc. Since I cut the sodium, I can actually see my ankle bones! Not to say I never, ever go over that, but I feel so much better not being bloated up like that, so that's a big motivator for keeping me on track, and somehow, saying no to sodium seems easier than saying no to pizza or burgers, lol.
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Old 03-09-2008, 11:59 AM   #8  
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I sympathize -- I think we've all been there!

Any idea what sets you off?
Hi Heather, I think that's a good question and something that I need to think about, maybe track when it happens. It could be stress, I have a stressful living situation and have a lot of stress from school. When I eat like that, I never have paid attention to WHY, but I need to do that.

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I felt awful sulking back here; like a complete loser failure. I completely bagged this site for a really, really long time cause I was so embarassed that I had let all my hard work go down the drain. I love browsing around here and reading other's stories. Glory87 has posted her very long story in the Goals section.
Gosh, hattrick, I know what you mean...I am sick of this nonsense too. I do well, then fall down and get back up and do it over and over! I agree with you, if you fall off of coming here, it's embarrassing to come back but I needed to do it. This site helps me so much. Yeah, I had lost 18 lbs this time before "falling from grace", I gained all but 4 lbs back (well, I though I had gained all but 8 lbs back, which is what my ticker says [I have to change it again!], but it is the beginning of my TOM). The good news is I get to start over, and I've started over now I just have to do it. I will check out Glory's story...I'm not sure, maybe I've read it, but I will read it again. I like reading how people have succeeded...especially yoyo dieters like me.

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I don't know if this will help at all, but I'll tell you what works best to keep me from eating out: sodium content.
Jamsk8r: that's a great idea. I can use my husband on this one: he has high blood pressure and shouldn't be eating that kind of stuff...I need to remind myself when we want to go out to eat that it is detrimental to both of our health, but especially his.

I did well yesterday, except for I drank some beers last night. But I am okay with drinking a little on Saturday nights. The important thing is I did well with the food. I even logged the beer. Today I have a plan: eat cereal for breakfast, either homemade soup or chicken and dumplings (lowfat with boneless skinless chicken breasts) for lunch, and then chicken skewers and salad for dinner. According to Fitday, I should be able to log less than 1700 cals today, which is what I am aiming for. I'm also hoping to ride my exercise bike or go for a walk. It's such a nice day, maybe I will do that. I will work on trying to think about why I overeat but I have a feeling I might have to catch it in the moment.
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Old 03-09-2008, 12:12 PM   #9  
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I don't know if this will help or not, but have you and your husband had check-ups lately? For me, having a check-up and finding out that my blood pressure was high, I was pre-diabetic and had high cholesterol snapped me out of my fat coma! I realized that I'm 42 and that if I don't fix this now, I'm going to end up with some serious diseases. I'm terrified of being sick and that one appointment just really woke me up to reality. That was 5 months ago and now every time I'm tempted by food I think of myself living with diabetes, giving myself insulin injections, taking blood pressure medication, not being able to do outdoor activities with my 9 year old son, those kinds of things. I'm a total hypochondriac (and a nurse!) so I NEVER want to be sick. For some reason facing your own mortality seems a little more real when you are in your late 30's (I saw from your profile you are 39) and for me in my early 40's. Again, I don't know if this approach will help you....I just know it did for me. I'm eating a whole foods diet and focusing on health and the weight is coming off slowly but surely.

I saw from your profile that you are also a student? I am currently in school too. Believe me honey, if we can go back to school at this point in our lives...we can do this too!!
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Old 03-09-2008, 12:21 PM   #10  
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Hope you are still on track and doing ok. I know how it feels to be falling off the wagon, and getting back on all the time. I have gained and lost the same 4lbs since January, which is why I joined here and started doing Weightwatchers. Good luck with your plan, and your day!
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Old 03-09-2008, 12:30 PM   #11  
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Hello, Similehazel, what a nice first post! Welcome to 3FC! Best of luck to you too!

Trooworld, how's it going today? I second what missingmyerica said...Health (or illness, at least the threat of illness) is a huge motivator for many when nothing else works!

Especially since your husband has health issues, is there a way you can enlist him in making better choices too? I think that if you have support and not sabotage, it will be a lot easier and more motivating for you.
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Old 03-09-2008, 12:33 PM   #12  
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I realized that is sounded like I was saying your husband is sabotaging you...I didn't mean to sound harsh, but if a partner knows you are on a weight loss path and are cooking something healthy but can't wait for it to be done (can't have a healthy snack, some water, whatever to tide him over) so takes you both to eat fast food instead, there may be some of that going on.

Hope that isn't too harsh sounding.
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Old 03-09-2008, 06:17 PM   #13  
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I don't know if this will help or not, but have you and your husband had check-ups lately? I realized that I'm 42 and that if I don't fix this now, I'm going to end up with some serious diseases. For some reason facing your own mortality seems a little more real when you are in your late 30's (I saw from your profile you are 39) and for me in my early 40's. I saw from your profile that you are also a student? I am currently in school too. Believe me honey, if we can go back to school at this point in our lives...we can do this too!!
My hubby had a checkup a few weeks ago and a few months ago got his blood work done and everything is okay with him (except his blood pressure, which is under control with meds), and as far as me, I haven't been to the doctor's in almost a year, so maybe it is time for me to go get a checkup...I'm glad you said that, I didn't think about that. I do get scared because I am 39 and my mother has so many health problems and my real father had open heart surgery, so there are health factors definitely involved. I don't want to end up with high cholesterol or high blood pressure or diabetes or any of those kinds of things, life's tough enough! Every week, I speak to my mother on the phone and she tells me about her ailments and I just think to myself, "thank god I don't have that problem" but if I keep eating the way I do, I'm GOING to end up having some of those problems. Yes I am a student...that's a good way to look at it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by simileyhazel View Post
Hope you are still on track and doing ok. I know how it feels to be falling off the wagon, and getting back on all the time. I have gained and lost the same 4lbs since January, which is why I joined here and started doing Weightwatchers. Good luck with your plan, and your day!
Hey Simileyhazel! Like Soulbliss said, welcome to 3FC! Thanks, I am doing okay but you know, I almost had sort of a slip up: my husband and I had been shopping for a couple of hours and it was 2pm and we still hadn't had lunch, so we kept going back and forth about going out to eat but we were going to go to Chili's so I could get something from the guiltless grill. We ended up not going (one of the reasons is that I thought about all that sodium, like someone else said, and what it would do to my hubby) and just eating leftovers, which were good and healthy. That was a close one, but wouldn't have been a disaster. I've heard great things about WW, good luck! Stick around here, it helps!

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Trooworld, how's it going today? Especially since your husband has health issues, is there a way you can enlist him in making better choices too? I think that if you have support and not sabotage, it will be a lot easier and more motivating for you. I realized that is sounded like I was saying your husband is sabotaging you...I didn't mean to sound harsh, but if a partner knows you are on a weight loss path and are cooking something healthy but can't wait for it to be done (can't have a healthy snack, some water, whatever to tide him over) so takes you both to eat fast food instead, there may be some of that going on.
Hey Soul...it's going pretty good so far. I was put to the test with an eating out temptation but I survived it! When we were running around today, I got hungry and we went to Target and instead of getting chips or a hot dog from the snack bar, I got some beef jerky and even though that had a TON of sodium in it, it was lowfat/low cal and filling and it wasn't the type of junk food that makes me binge.

My hubby is doing really well, for a while, he was losing all kinds of weight (and I was losing weight, too) and then we both fell off the wagon. He's been getting up at 4:00am to workout every day and then walking at work and then sometimes working out at home again at night...so he's an inspiration for me, as long as he's doing good. The problem is that we are both truly addicted to food and we feed off each other's addiction. I just have to have my own willpower and say no if he mentions eating out. He sometimes is sabotaging but doesn't do it intentionally, it's just his food addiction. YOU DIDN'T SOUND HARSH at all! No worries. I think he does sabotage but accidentally. He is always encouraging me to workout; we just went for a walk together yesterday.

We'll see how I do tomorrow, I have school tomorrow and that is stressful, but the good news is that I am there from 11-3:15 and I pack a lunch and sometimes a snack, too, so I don't have to think about it, I just eat after my first class and then I am in class until 3 and go home and maybe have a piece of fruit and a stick of cheese or something until dinner.
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