Sorry if this is a little disjointed (and shallow)...I'm at a really low spot today and just...I don't know...
I started Atkins exactly 2 weeks ago. I've stuck it, pretty much religiously (with a few slip ups), and I've lost 13.5 pounds. My clothes are loser, my bras fit better, and I have more energy.
But I just can't enjoy it.
I'm worried I'll fail again. In the past, when I've finally gotten into "fat burning mode" the weight just starts to melt off. This is a GOOD thing, right? But I always fail. I eat a little more, and I still lose. A little more and a little more...then I'm back to where I started.
I think I'm afraid of being thin. Right now, I know the guys we hang out with like to talk to me because they like to TALK TO ME. What happens when I'm thin and gorgeous? Will they still like me, or just suffer through my babbling because I'm fun to look at? I know, right now, that people we are friends with genuinely like ME. If I'm thin, I'm afraid I'll lose that.
I worry that I'm slipping back into my old ED. It's so easy to just not eat, since I'm a) not hungry, b) feeling a little sick (I lose my appetite in the cold weather), and now, more and more, c) I'm in "control" of my weight loss if I just don't eat. I feel this sick sense of achievement when I can look at food and turn away, even when I *know* I should be eating. Forcing myself to eat in these situations makes me feel like a failure. (yes, I have seen a doctor about this in the past - their solution was anti-depressants, which I had to stop taking - long story)
I have so far to go. When I hit my 239 goal, I still have another 40 pounds to shed before I'm in the Ones. Then another 40 to hit my ultimate goal. It's disheartening. The 13.5 pounds seems like such a small number when I have another 82 in front of me.
I'm so pathetic and whimpery today...forgive me...
I know how it can be to get this "down" feeling. I have tried and failed at so many weight-loss plans, and I started out on Jan. 1 with my all time highest weight.
What has helped me is to realize that I am the only one in charge of whether I fail or succeed... Yes, I have failed before! But it helped me to look back over these past attempts and try to pinpoint what exactly didn't work for me... for example, I am notorious for going off plan for "special occasions"... trips, vacations, family meals, really, most of my special occasions were not all that special! Now that I realize this, I know exactly how to fix it this time around... even if it means opting out of a big family dinner, or ordering a salad when we go out to eat...
I always remember this saying... "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." So if you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten! Try to recognize WHY you failed before... be proactive... fix those problems before they crop up!
I hope this was helpful to you... I know how you feel!
I've done atkins before and I didn't enjoy one minute of it. I lost weight pretty quickly on it, but I was not having fun. Losing weight CAN be an enjoyable experience, but it takes patience. For me it's all about moderation and planning. If I get up in the morning and want two waffles for breakfast then I have them, I just make sure I eat a sensible lunch and dinner. I allow myself to eat what I want in normal size amounts. That's really all you have to do, you don't have to restrict foods, just eat in normal amounts and cut out a few things along the way, like soda and fast food. You need to pace yourself, change things slowly, that's why diets don't work, you cut out so much too fast. Focus on getting healthy, not getting thin. I don't know if I'm helping you or not. When I was trying to lose weight I just kept in mind that it didn't take me a week to put on 50lbs, it took me about a year and it was going to take a year for me to get it off, but it's so worth it.
Jamie...I know, and I firmly believe that's the case for most people. The long story with the antidepressants is also why cutting back and exercising don't work for me. Right after my second daughter, I was basically in liver failure from a duct clogged by a gall stone. I was told that it could have caused permanent liver damage and might affect my metabolism. I didn't know how much it did until I started cutting calories and exercising - something that had worked well for me before the gallbladder experience.
As it stands, Atkins is the ONLY thing that has worked in 2 years to get weight off. I also can't take any drugs that metabolize in my liver (read : anti-depressants) because of the severe pain it causes. Like I said, I was warned of this...but neither I nor my gastro-ent expected it to be as severe as it has turned out to be. I'm not a doctor, so I don't know the "why" of all this, I just know that it's how it has turned out (and it sucks).
I'm hearing three separate but related things here. One is that you're coming up on that point where often you have gone off plan in the past, and you're afraid you might do it again. Of course you're afraid! Perhaps it would help you to think of the next two weeks of your program as a "NEW beginning," because really, that's what it is. You haven't been here before! And so, it's an adventure. New territory!
The other thing I'm hearing is that you're afraid of change. It takes the form of thinking that people like you for who you are, and if you change, they'll like you for something else than who you are--like, sex appeal. But you know, aside from those "possible" issues, it is better for you to lose weight, don't you think? For a lot of reasons, other than looks? People won't stop liking you in the way they like you now, just because you are thinner. They may find you sexually attractive, but that would be in addition to how they like you now. And that's not a bad thing.
And finally, the fear of ED. This is a hard one, but all I can say is, stick with your plan. Don't let your desire for that unhealthy control override your good sense. Eat when you are supposed to, and eat the amounts you are supposed to. The hard part here is making sure you simply follow directions.
Altari, you can do this--you're already doing it. Feel the fear, and keep going anyway! That's all any of us do.
I'm sorry Altari, I didn't know all that. That does stink. Well what is it about Atkins you don't like? For me it was just lack of knowing what I could eat so I stuck to what I did know and it got boring. Maybe there are some good atkin's cook books you could get so you can change it up a bit?? You're doing great so far! Oh and as for people thinking of you different when you're thin, well they'll probably like you even more.
I'm glad to hear someone say that they are "afraid" to lose past a certain they have been to before. I feel as though I reach a threshold and can't move beyond that, a mental block, I guess?
Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a lot better about things today. Yesterday was just a bad day.
Jay...you made me cry! Thanks so much for that post.
Jamie, don't be sorry. I'm in such a weird situation now. After my first daughter, I lost 50 pounds in 6 months by diet and exercise. I tried the same thing after I had my second daughter and...nothing. I was 20 years old at the time and didn't understand why my body wasn't responding to what had always worked!
My problem with Atkins isn't the day to day cravings, it's the day specific issues. My husband and I have a routine for "our" night. We have a big dinner with friends - usually some roasted meat and veggies. Restraining on the veggies is a problem. Giving up the alcohol hasn't been a huge issue. The next morning we go out to breakfast or go by Jamba Juice then do some shopping. That routine is hard to break.
Also, my personal "stress therapy" is baking. So I'll make a loaf of bread then stare at it longingly, lol.
I think once I hit the 20 pounds lost mark I'm going to start doing some minor altering to the plan. I'm hoping that getting some pounds lost will kick start my metabolism, so counting cals and exercise will work again. It's definitely not "easier" day to day, but it allows for so much more leniency in the variety I can eat.
When I'm down (and believe me...we all have down days...right guys???), I've been finding that going out for a long walk really help pick me up...I see you have a little darling, so perhaps just take a walk around the neighborhood..it works for me....stay motivated and here's to good health and good looks to all!
Altaria...I'm so sorry to hear about your problems. I'm glad you're feeling better today.
The only real suggestions i would have is....a) don't worry about what other guys think of you. If they like you now for your conversation, they will like you later for the same reason. b) if you need motivation to keep going, think of those kids. You have two beautiful kids who need their mom. if you ever needed to focus your attention on anything, it is getting healthy to have a long life raiseing your children. c) find healthy meals that all of you can enjoy. d) you and your husband need to make new habits to replace the old ones that aren't healthy for you. You two should come up with a plan of where you can go that is healthier and fits into your weightloss plan and make a healthy routine.
Make sure you include him in your efforts. Then see how he can help you make changes that will benefit you and the whole family.
I really hope things go good for you. I'm rooting for you girl!! You can do this. With a little time and lots of planning, you will be able to over come!!!!!
hmmmm tough one...what happens when they stop looking at you like "this is my 'ol pal" and start LOOKING at you like "whoa, I used to talk to her a lot, but this is a GREAT addition/benefit!" Maybe (holy crow, no way!) maybe you'll stay friends with those guys and keep talking to them and it might actually grow into a romantic relationship that is fullfilling in SO MANY more ways than just chatting partners!!!!
Altari, your doing so well - 13.5 lbs. in 2 weeks. That's awsome! Just try to stick to the plan (if thats the plan you like). You're doing great.
I see your from Chicago. I am from Indianapolis, and I too have kind of been in a blue mood lately . I think it's because it's either been raining or snowing here (very little sun) for the last few weeks. I thought about that today, and decided that I have to get over this somehow. Lets just try to think positive (and sunny) . It's gonna get better, I just know it.
Lost so much, but I can't enjoy it
. It's gonna get better, I just know it. 