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Old 12-12-2007, 08:11 PM   #1
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Height: 5'11"

Default Really need some help.....

Hi Everyone -

I'm new here and I will apologize ahead of time because this might be long. I am really, really depressed tonight and I just need some advice.

I have been overweight my entire life. I have a best friend who I have known all my life, she is also overweight although she is much bigger than me right now. My friend has made the decision to have weight loss surgery and has been talking to me a lot about it. I am now wondering whether I should just suck it up and do it.

Back about ten years ago, between low fat and low carb dieting and lots of walking and weight training, I had gotten myself from 350 down to 250. Although still overweight, I felt great. I ended up hitting a plateu and when I went to see an endocronologist to find out why, I found out I had PCOS. I started different courses of meds and slowly started gaining some weight.

Then I met my wonderful, very skinny crazy metabolism husband about 5 years ago. Without even realizing, I started packing weight back on as I ate away with and baked for him. I gained almost all of it back. I still can't forgive myself for that.

We have been trying desperately to get pregnant but with the weight and the PCOS, it has not happened.

I am so utterly torn right now. I am miserable at this weight, back to the place where I fear small plane seats and have no clothes that fit. I know that weight loss would also increase my chances of getting pregnant.

All this said - as great as weight loss surgery sounds - something in me feels like it's just not right for me. I have done it - why can't I do it again? However, losing so much weight so quickly sounds like a dream.

I am just very lost tonight and very down. I really need support and advice to help me figure this out. I am grateful for anyone who can help.
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Old 12-12-2007, 08:45 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 10,498

S/C/G: Lost 50 lbs, regained some

Height: 5'3"



We have a whole forum for Weight Loss Surgery. Click here:


Read the Sticky posts and feel free to ask questions! These are folks with experience.

One thing I would point out is that weight loss surgery usually means a change in how you eat, depending on what surgery you have.

You have shown that you can lose 100 pounds on your own--so, maybe you could do that again without the surgery. We have a forum here for 300+ people:


and also for 100 pound losers:


Of course, you are always welcome to post here!

Good luck! Don't be depressed! You can find a way, whichever you decide.

"My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama

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Old 12-12-2007, 08:49 PM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Bat Country
Posts: 6,915


First off, WELCOME!!!

You have found a wonderful, supportive group of folks who will walk with you on your journey.

Second, forgive yourself for gaining the weight back. What's done is done, and guilt is a waste of energy.

You have the tools and the knowledge and the history to do what you gotta do. I have every faith that you can make daily decisions to bring you toward your goal.

Stick around, post often, and I can't wait to hear about your successes! And struggles, too, cause they'll be there. You can do this!
"And that's how Beowulf rolls"~ my DD

Last edited by midwife; 12-12-2007 at 08:49 PM.
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Old 12-12-2007, 09:51 PM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 988

S/C/G: 292/144/145

Height: 5'10"


You know you have the ability to lose the weight without surgery. What you need is the commitment to keep it off. (Me too!) The surgery is not a miracle. It's a really tough road that you should avoid if possible.

Back in May I felt just as lost as you feel tonight. Less than 7 months later I am down a 100+ pounds and feel like I can take on the world. Make the commitment and you can feel that way too. It's not easy but it's definitely possible.

Check out the 100 Pounds to Lose Group. It's very active and supportive and has made a huge difference in my journey.

Good luck whatever you decide, and feel better.

Current Weight: 144 lbs.
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Old 12-12-2007, 09:54 PM   #5
2 wheels is plenty :D
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 3,099

S/C/G: 264/195/150

Height: 5'4"



First....deep breaths....then research, research, research. Surgery IMHO should be the LAST resort. I think you already kinda know what you need to do, you've had success with walking and low fat/ low carb in the past.

We're glad you're here and you ARE NOT ALONE!!!
Before & Current Pics
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Old 12-12-2007, 10:38 PM   #6
Just Me
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 14,707

S/C/G: 364/--/182

Height: 5'6"



I also have a skinny husband with a crazy metabolism and I also have PCOS.

You can do it Feel free to peruse the website and read posts by others.
You can't out-exercise poor eating habits.
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Old 12-13-2007, 09:01 AM   #7
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Height: 5'11"


Thank you all so much.
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Old 12-13-2007, 12:20 PM   #8
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: United States
Posts: 821

S/C/G: 248/see ticker/145

Height: 5'6"


Hello and welcome! As someone else has said, you are in the right place for support and information. This board really helps me.

About the pregnancy thing...maybe you could use that as a motivator? But be careful not to put too much pressure on yourself to make that goal, or it could end up backfiring. I understand about getting married and gaining weight...I did the same thing except it happened before we were even married! I wanted to keep him happy and since food makes me happy, what better way to make him happy?

You have to move on from gaining the weight back. Not forgiving yourself will only hold you back and contribute to eating more. You learned a lesson from gaining it back, and now it's time to move on. You can do it, you've proved to yourself that you know how to lose weight and are capable of it.

Come back here often, post and read and get support from all these wonderful people!

Good luck!

Still not giving up, fighting the fight of my life!

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