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Really need some help.....

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Old 12-12-2007, 08:11 PM   #1
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Hi Everyone -

I'm new here and I will apologize ahead of time because this might be long. I am really, really depressed tonight and I just need some advice.

I have been overweight my entire life. I have a best friend who I have known all my life, she is also overweight although she is much bigger than me right now. My friend has made the decision to have weight loss surgery and has been talking to me a lot about it. I am now wondering whether I should just suck it up and do it.

Back about ten years ago, between low fat and low carb dieting and lots of walking and weight training, I had gotten myself from 350 down to 250. Although still overweight, I felt great. I ended up hitting a plateu and when I went to see an endocronologist to find out why, I found out I had PCOS. I started different courses of meds and slowly started gaining some weight.

Then I met my wonderful, very skinny crazy metabolism husband about 5 years ago. Without even realizing, I started packing weight back on as I ate away with and baked for him. I gained almost all of it back. I still can't forgive myself for that.

We have been trying desperately to get pregnant but with the weight and the PCOS, it has not happened.

I am so utterly torn right now. I am miserable at this weight, back to the place where I fear small plane seats and have no clothes that fit. I know that weight loss would also increase my chances of getting pregnant.

All this said - as great as weight loss surgery sounds - something in me feels like it's just not right for me. I have done it - why can't I do it again? However, losing so much weight so quickly sounds like a dream.

I am just very lost tonight and very down. I really need support and advice to help me figure this out. I am grateful for anyone who can help.
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Old 12-12-2007, 08:45 PM   #2
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Hey!

We have a whole forum for Weight Loss Surgery. Click here:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/weight-loss-surgery-78/

Read the Sticky posts and feel free to ask questions! These are folks with experience.

One thing I would point out is that weight loss surgery usually means a change in how you eat, depending on what surgery you have.

You have shown that you can lose 100 pounds on your own--so, maybe you could do that again without the surgery. We have a forum here for 300+ people:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/300-club-124/

and also for 100 pound losers:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club-55/

Of course, you are always welcome to post here!

Good luck! Don't be depressed! You can find a way, whichever you decide.

Jay
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Old 12-12-2007, 08:49 PM   #3
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First off, WELCOME!!!

You have found a wonderful, supportive group of folks who will walk with you on your journey.

Second, forgive yourself for gaining the weight back. What's done is done, and guilt is a waste of energy.

You have the tools and the knowledge and the history to do what you gotta do. I have every faith that you can make daily decisions to bring you toward your goal.

Stick around, post often, and I can't wait to hear about your successes! And struggles, too, cause they'll be there. You can do this!
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Last edited by midwife : 12-12-2007 at 08:49 PM.
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Old 12-12-2007, 09:51 PM   #4
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You know you have the ability to lose the weight without surgery. What you need is the commitment to keep it off. (Me too!) The surgery is not a miracle. It's a really tough road that you should avoid if possible.

Back in May I felt just as lost as you feel tonight. Less than 7 months later I am down a 100+ pounds and feel like I can take on the world. Make the commitment and you can feel that way too. It's not easy but it's definitely possible.

Check out the 100 Pounds to Lose Group. It's very active and supportive and has made a huge difference in my journey.

Good luck whatever you decide, and feel better.
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Old 12-12-2007, 09:54 PM   #5
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KP!!

First....deep breaths....then research, research, research. Surgery IMHO should be the LAST resort. I think you already kinda know what you need to do, you've had success with walking and low fat/ low carb in the past.

We're glad you're here and you ARE NOT ALONE!!!
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Old 12-12-2007, 10:38 PM   #6
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Welcome!

I also have a skinny husband with a crazy metabolism and I also have PCOS.

You can do it Feel free to peruse the website and read posts by others.
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Old 12-13-2007, 09:01 AM   #7
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Thank you all so much.
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Old 12-13-2007, 12:20 PM   #8
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Hello and welcome! As someone else has said, you are in the right place for support and information. This board really helps me.

About the pregnancy thing...maybe you could use that as a motivator? But be careful not to put too much pressure on yourself to make that goal, or it could end up backfiring. I understand about getting married and gaining weight...I did the same thing except it happened before we were even married! I wanted to keep him happy and since food makes me happy, what better way to make him happy?

You have to move on from gaining the weight back. Not forgiving yourself will only hold you back and contribute to eating more. You learned a lesson from gaining it back, and now it's time to move on. You can do it, you've proved to yourself that you know how to lose weight and are capable of it.

Come back here often, post and read and get support from all these wonderful people!

Good luck!
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