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Old 11-28-2007, 07:49 PM   #1
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Unhappy Emotional Eating

I don't know what is wrong with me. I did so well last year and this year I just can't seem to get it together. I get on track and then it seems like something emotional happens and I just eat like a pig.

I was doing fairly well the last couple of weeks and then Sunday night happened. My DH went hunting for a week in Wisconsin the week before Thanksgiving. He came home the night before Thanksgiving and we had a very nice weekend. Then on Sunday night right before we went to bed he tells me that he got a DUI up in Wisconsin (he didn't tell me earlier because he didn't want to ruin my holiday). I can't believe how many times I have preached to him not to drink and drive but he did it any way. Now all the money we have saved all year long for Christmas will have to go to Lawyers and fines.

Needless to say, I have really been a pig since Sunday. I don't want to eat like this but I can't seem to stop myself. I get depressed, I eat. I'm going to really try tomorrow to pull myself together.

Sorry, I guess I just really needed to vent
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Old 11-28-2007, 07:58 PM   #2
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I'm sorry for your stress. DUI is really a hot button issue for me. I'm glad he is alive and that no one died because of his choice. Maybe try to substitute exercise for eating---pummeling a punching bag relieves all sorts of stress.
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Old 11-28-2007, 08:11 PM   #3
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Hey Abbyin,

I'm so sorry about this. But you know, what's done is done, he went and got the DUI, and your eating isn't going to help that. As someone's sig says, "If hunger is not the problem, then food is not the solution." I know that you know this already, but sometimes a reminder can help?

I like midwife's suggestion--exercise really is a better way to deal with stress. A good walk, an exercise DVD, a trip to the YMCA--all these can help you feel better without resorting to food. Also, talking with friends can help (as long as you don't go out to eat at the same time! )

Hang in there. Things will get better. At least no one was hurt or killed, as midwife noted.

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Old 11-28-2007, 08:45 PM   #4
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ABBY ~ to you ... I was/am an emotional eater, but I am now learning strategies to help myself stop that destructive behavior. I like the adage mentioned by JAYELL; memorizing them helps becuz when you are under stress you can remind yourself of them.

One of my favorites is from the bible ~ ' DON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR ANGER ' which reminds me that it is OK to be angry for awhile, but not for more than a day! Sometimes I read, listen to music, go for a walk, call someone, come on here for support, have a soothing cup of tea; anything that keeps me from over-eating. As time goes on, it is getting easier and easier to remind myself not to take life's problems out on myself ...

Honestly, I really like the 'PUNCHING BAG' idea; that could really get out some angst, eh? LOL!!!

My DH got a minor traffic ticket for something I had reminded him three times just prior; he didn't listen ... so he did the honorable thing and paid the fine out of his own savings/ income. I hope this doesn't ruin your whole Christmas; many lawyers and fines can be paid on payment plans (so much a month); ask about this ... maybe you could pay half and the rest in payments.

Hope this helps you in some way ... ROSEBUD
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Old 11-28-2007, 09:32 PM   #5
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I can completely understand how you feel Abby. My husband has a drinking problem too. I used to stuff my emotions down with food, because I couldn't fix him. However, I know now that I have to get in control of me, and not let food in control. I wish you best wishes.
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Old 11-28-2007, 10:32 PM   #6
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Emotional eating is a tough one, it's something I struggle very hard with. I think everyone else has given you great advice. I just wanted to say that in the past when I've voiced my desperation about emotional eating, I didn't want to hear that exercising would help because I HATE to exercise. Well, one day, I actually tried it: I put my spin on it by taking my dog for a walk in the sunshine. It really did actually help. Give it a try, I hope it helps you. Best of luck.
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Old 11-28-2007, 10:44 PM   #7
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I have a tendency to emotionally eat when under stress. Exercise does help me A LOT -- although like trooworld, I would have hated to be told that as I don't like to consider exercise!

It happens to everyone at some point, and we all need to come up with strategies to deal with it.

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Old 11-29-2007, 06:10 AM   #8
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I know you KNOW that eating will solve nothing, that eating will just add to your stress because then you have the original problem AND the new excess weight to contend with...you KNOW it will cost you time and money and energy that is better reserved for other things...yet that annoying emotional-reflexive-addicted side of the brain doesn't, I know exactly where you are coming from!

I'm not entirely free from this issue - will I ever be?!, will anyone?! - but a few things that have helped in my experience:

1. Plan the day - not down to last minute or whatever, but at least get a bit of paper and map out what you are doing, so you can identify gaps or likely sources of stress, so you can mentally prepare for them/plan to fill them in advance.
2. Plan your eating - again only roughly, we all have busy lives so its not always possible to get it down to the minute - but roughly plan in 3 meals and 2 snacks helps. The next food, then, is never far away!
3. Don't buy junk. Simplistic but works.
4. Exercise, exercise, exercise
5. Water, water, water
6. Selffaith, selffaith,selffaith

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Old 11-29-2007, 02:16 PM   #9
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Thanks everyone for your support, ideas and encouragement. I'm feeling a little better today. I know exercise would help but I, like a few others, hate to exercise. I guess I could just take some baby steps.

The punching bag does sound like a good idea. Maybe I could just punch DH instead (just kidding).

Thanks again, guys.
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Old 11-30-2007, 11:53 PM   #10
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Thumbs up Wow! I feel your pain

I just signed up today for the same reason. My eating is all emotional! It's time to change! I feel like this site is going to make all the difference. It's nice to be with people wants to make the same changes
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Old 12-01-2007, 07:27 AM   #11
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Maybe you could take care of both issues at once. Put pictures of DUI victims all over the house. He won't wanna drink and drive anymore, and you might lose your appetite.

Like everyone else said, eating isn't going to help it. But the DUI issue...yeah. I say go ahead and use him as a punching bag.
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Old 12-01-2007, 11:35 AM   #12
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Abbyin,

I hope you are doing better with your eating. I totally understand the temptation because I have the same issue!

About your husband's DUI, I came across this website... and if it doesn't stop him from drinking and driving, I don't know what would. The stories are just heartbreaking. (Warning: there are some graphic photos, which are identified as such prior to viewing.) Very sad! http://www.duipictures.com/dstory.htm

On one side of my family, there is a history of alcoholism, so please don't think me 'holier than thou.' I hope your husband overcomes this!
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Old 12-01-2007, 12:32 PM   #13
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I hope it's not alcoholism, I dealt with drinking in my own marriage. Someone who REALLY drinks can be verbally mean, neglect you, lie, etc. You didn't say how often he drinks or how much? If it's too much or it's increasing, then you might want to go to the library and find the AA book, read the signs and how you can deal with it. You can't destroy yourself because someone else is drinking and being stupid. And through AlAnon you can get tips on how not to be codependent, how to set boundaries, and how to take care of yourself. Again I'm hoping it's not that bad, but information is power. When I was in a marriage with a drinker I didn't know what to do, I ate, hurt myself, cried, and lashed out in anger. As for a DUI, he'll have to go to classes most likely and this might "help" him in a round about way. He could lose his license. There are "consequences" and perhaps rightfully so if you are saying he's done this before and has been warned. What's with Minnesota and Wisconsin by the way? Seems like there's a lot of drinkers up there? Is it a part of the Scandanavian culture? I'm mostly Swedish and have a family history of drinking/depression, so does my ex. Please realize this is about your husband, it's hard not to take on his issues, but the consequences are HIS not yours. You'll get through this and so will he.
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Old 12-01-2007, 12:55 PM   #14
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I second horsey's advice. Check out Alanon in your community. You might also get some insight form the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, which she also mentioned. Sorry this had to happen. Good luck.
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Old 12-01-2007, 01:16 PM   #15
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This may or may not be the case for you, but I know that one of the reasons that I eat emotionally is to dull my feelings so that I don't have to deal with them. If I were you I would be VERY ANGRY (plus possibly disappointed, ashamed, etc.) with my husband right now. The thing is we often feel like we aren't allowed to feel angry at people and therefore to handle the feelings we feed them. Let yourself feel angry and try to find constructive ways to get that emotion out. You have every right to be angry and upset (or whatever else it is you are feeling right now).
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