If you are overweight, are you insecure about seeing old friends?
I was thinking about this winter of how I backed out of seeing an old college friend. And then I'm thinking of flying to my homestate and I feel the same about other friends I grew up with. I was always so tall and thin and now I just don't feel good about myself although I'm losing some weight. Guess it's incentive to kick the weight loss into higher gear, but really I shouldn't feel insecure either way. I'm nearing 40 and so are they, none of us have our old figures especially those of us that had kids at an older age. It's just that I suppose my figure was my asset as I didn't feel as pretty as some of my friends. I used to wear everything and anything. Getting older is hard on those who are really into their looks, I wasn't really like that - but still I just feel like a blob these days. If I could lose 20 more pounds I'll feel so much better about myself. However it is shallow of me to not see friends while in an overweight state isn't it? Do others feel this way?
I felt hesitant about seeing some of my friends when I was at my highest weight. They hadn't seen me in 20 or more years, and I used to be normal sized. The rotten thing was, they were still normal sized--only I had gotten fat. I still enjoyed seeing them, but I could see that tiny second of shock on their faces when we first got together. That was not THE reason I wanted to lose weight--there are many--but I did take note of it.
Oh, yeah--I stress over that. I live in a tourist town, and just this past week, an old friend of mine was staying at a hotel in town w/ her husband, and she called me so that we could get together. The first thought that occurred to me was, "I'm 30 lbs. heavier than when she last saw me!" I hate that this was my first thought, but to be honest, I know how people are. Even really nice people are going to think that when they see an old friend whose gained weight.
I remember when I saw my old friend from church, over 200+ lbs and she used to be skinny. You know, everyone whispers about it but not to her face. Maybe she's the one I ought to look up when I go to my home state. Yes it does seem that seeing old friends is a motivator. I cancilled a trip for 4th of July, I suppose this was in the back of my head but I was too busy as well so now it'll be Oct and I'm figuring by then - 3-4 months, I'll be down at least 10 more pounds then I'll still feel pudgy but not FAT and FRUMPY like I feel now.
I will answer with an emphatic YES!! I can't count the times I have cancelled on meeting up with my high school friends because I am ashamed of myself. I am scheduled to see the gang on July 11 for the HP movie though, and I am looking forward to it this time. It's been a year since I weighed this little, so hopefully they can tell I lost a little weight.
I didn't go to my 20 year high school reunion, but again my excuse was I was busy but I think weight was a part of it. I don't know that any of my friends are still really skinny, we are almost 40, likely my extra weight is in the typical range but I'm tall so I can hide a lot of it if I really plot out what clothes I'm wearing. Lately I thought of looking up my old boyfriend, I googled him and he looks single, owns his own house, etc - I've even had these dreams over and over about meeting him again - haven't seen him since I was 28 and of course still wearing size 6-7 jeans. Now I'm size 12 and blobby. It's just everyone knew me as SKINNY - he used to put his hands around my waist when I was 18 and it was nothing, so tiny, I never had to worry about weight, ate what I want, etc. But at this weight there's NO WAY I'd look him up on a trip home, shallow or not, I just won't. So maybe he'll be my inspiration, heck he's older then me and he can't be as cute in his Wranglers either...
Size 12 is NOT blobby LOL. I wish I was a 12 right now. I was tickled pink today because I can get back into my non plus size 18 jeans that don't have any spandex.
Go for it! You never know, maybe he is thinking of you too!
I was afraid of this too -- I used it as an excuse not to go out in public too much or only late at night (the main reason is that I was embarrassed). I used to work at a daycare when I was at a lower weight in high school, and after graduation (I was over 300 by then) my former boss called me and asked me to come visit and to give 'our' guinea pig a bath and hair cut -- and I didn't show up because I had gotten so heavy
A few yrs. ago my sister and I were invited to the lake for a cookout and a reunion with all our old high school friends. She went and had a great time catching up with them. I wish I had went, but I didn't go. I said I "had to work". Truth was, I didn't want them to see how fat I was.
In one word: yes.
In two words: yes yes.
In three words: OH **** YES!
I haven't visited my friends from back home in Washington DC since I gained weight, and I don't plan to, until I'm back down to 135. Then, they'll never even know how much I gained!
I was just thinking about this the other day. I definitely avoid seeing people. I have one friend (obviously not a very close one) that I haven't seen in over a year because of my continual weight gain. We used to go to clubs together and think we were the stuff, and now I am a blob! Last year, I missed my high school reunion because of my weight...I told them I had school when I didn't. A few weeks ago, I was so embarrassed: I was at the grocery store and some guy I worked with like 7 years ago saw me (if I would have seen him first, I would have ran the other way) and said, "I know you, don't I?" and he knew me when I was about 50 lbs lighter. I wanted to cry because I know he told people I used to work with about it.
In the past I have warned people, "I have put on quite a bit of weight", before going to see someone I haven't seen for quite a while. I just couldn't stand seeing that little moment of shock when they saw me, and wanted them to be prepared, so I wouldn't see it.
Mom unexpectedly had an an old high school friend call her from a couple hours away, and ask if she'd be home to visit. Mom hadn't seen this friend in 15 years, and let her know, "Yes, come on down, and I'll try to quick lose 50 pounds while you're on your way." Her friend, sounding quite relieved, said she'd try to do the same, LOL.
If you are overweight, are you insecure about seeing old friends?
