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Old 01-11-2007, 02:08 PM   #1
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Default Issue w. Rude Female Co-Worker

Hello y'all! I wanted to get some opinions and feedback regarding an on-going issue at work. I am a member of a small team in a corp. setting. My female team member continues to be caddy, immature and rude concerning sweet treats here in the office.

EX: Today there is a large cake to celebrate all the people that have a birthday this month. My co-worker is well aware that I am really working on losing weight and eating extremely clean (I pack my breakfast, lunch and afternoon snack every single day without fail). As soon as she hears that there's cake in the break room she makes a b-line for it (she is also very thin and brags about how much junk she can eat and not gain a pound). I stayed in my chair and continued my work. She comes back with her slice and asked me to turn around so I can look at how great the cake looks. I tell her no thanks, and she then proceeds to tell me every detail about how delious the cake is. It was such a obvious dig on me I wanted to turn around and just smack her!

This is just one of many such instances where I feel like she goes over and above trying to make me envious of her eating what she wants. I don't want to sink to her level of childish, immature behavior but I also want to call her out and maybe make her aware of her B.S towards me trying to lose weight. She and I have even talked about women turning on other women and their efforts to lose. Any suggestions??? Thanks for listening (and p.s- I didn't turn around , nor did I break down and get a slice)!!!
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Old 01-11-2007, 02:44 PM   #2
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Wow. That doesn't sound like someone who just "doesn't realize" what they're doing to you. That was deliberate sabotaging behavior.

I'd suggest pointing out to her how juvenile it makes her sound. I'd say something like "Listen, I've noticed recently how you seem to think it's funny to taunt me with food. It kind of reminds me of being back in the fourth grade; you remember how kids were at that age? Anyway, I just though it'd be better for everyone if we could treat each other like adults. Please try to respect my choices about food in the future."

And kudos to you and your self-control. I seriously WOULD have smacked her. Or at the very least gotten up and in her face with some VERY intimidating body language.

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Old 01-11-2007, 02:47 PM   #3
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Just this once, go ahead and smack her. Not really, the other ladies have given you great advice. WTG on resisting.


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Old 01-11-2007, 02:49 PM   #4
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"no thank you, My doctor discovered that I have a terrible allergy to _______(insert food product or ingredient name). Eating it or being in the same room with it, can cause a severe allergic reaction for me"....

maybe this would make her shut up and move on with her cake to another room.

Or you might try the more direct approach if she's so catty......"STOP! YOUR CONSTANT OBSESSION WITH FOOD IS REALLY ANNOYING ME".

congrats on rising above her and the cake.
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:00 PM   #5
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I would just tell her to knock it off. She knows exactly what she's doing, whether she plays dumb or not.
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:31 PM   #6
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What is wrong with people?? She is not a very nice person. Everyone has given you great advice on what to say to her if you want to say something. If I was in that situation I'd probably just ignore her, but I'm a wuss when it comes to saying things that are on my mind. Just remember, misery loves company, she may be skinny, but maybe she has a food obsession and isn't as happy as she makes herself out to be. Great job on resisting!! You should be very proud of yourself, that's awesome!
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:32 PM   #7
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Next time she tries to make you look at her food and goes on about how good it is turn and look and then go "...oh my gawd, I think I saw a spider on that bite you just took!!"

Or if you think you can do it and still resist, turn and sit as close to her as possible and watch her eat every last bite. Put your face forward and follow the fork from the plate to her mouth. Make her feel stupid and awkward about eating.
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Old 01-11-2007, 04:08 PM   #8
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I'm the kind of person who would just say, "it sounds wonderful but I'm not hungry or I have X to eat, thanks anyway" or I would ingore her...

people like this FEED off reactions, ingoring her is probably the best way to get rid of her - but I learned that a long time ago. When I went through school everyone was like this towards me because I was the largest, I learned that when I ingored them - they stopped. It's not always the case though.
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Old 01-11-2007, 04:15 PM   #9
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I'd remind her that just because cake doesn't make her fat, it can rot her teeth out of her head, cause her diabetes which can rot her leg off etc etc. I am sorry, I know you have to work with this woman on a daily basis, but what she is doing is plain rude adn she needs to be put in her place. In all seriousness, you need to confront the little snot and tell her you don't appreciate her trying to make it harder for you that though she may not care about bettering herself, you are trying hard to do it and her comments are not only hurtful, but ugly and make her catty. If it continues, I would request a desk change and be blunt about why you want to move! I worked for a law firm and my desk was across from the kitchen. That was **** enough without someone being demeaning!

If you feel you cannot be honest with her for whatever reason, be rude and pretend she isn't there including answering her questions or even speaking to her. You will get the opportunity to tell her off soon enough because people like her crave attention and not getting it will drive her NUTS!
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Old 01-11-2007, 04:22 PM   #10
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"I'm really getting concerned about your obsession with food. I hear the company has a great mental health policy, maybe you should check it out. Remember, the first step in confronting a problem like yours is admitting you have a problem."
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Old 01-11-2007, 04:55 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by ejm View Post
"I'm really getting concerned about your obsession with food. I hear the company has a great mental health policy, maybe you should check it out. Remember, the first step in confronting a problem like yours is admitting you have a problem."

That's great advice! I love it!
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Old 01-11-2007, 05:21 PM   #12
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ejm, you are my hero!

It will take as long as it takes.

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Old 01-11-2007, 05:28 PM   #13
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"Wow, that does look really good. You should get yourself a second piece. I'm sure they can spare it. Feel free to take mine! I'm not in the mood for cake right now."
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Old 01-11-2007, 05:32 PM   #14
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Yup, I might have smacked her.... and thats too bad that she thinks just cause she isn't overweight that gives her a free pass to eat whatever she wants... truthfully thin doesn't necessarily mean healthy....she'll be wishing she didn't eat like it didn't matter when she realizes she has a whole bunch of clogged arteries! As far as confronting her... it sounds like she is being deliberate in waving food in front of your face and making you uncomfortable at work...sounds like harassment to me, you have every right to ask her to stop, just be professional about it.
I'm lucky I work in a very laid back environment and everyone here knows I'm trying to lose weight and occasionally something will get waved in front of me...its never deliberately to make me feel bad but I always call them on it...did I mention my office is mostly women and none of them are thin! Every time my boss waves food at me I look at her and say 'I'm sorry...did I blow smoke in your face when you quit? No, I don't think so back off with the chocolate!'
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Old 01-11-2007, 07:34 PM   #15
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Gogirl, I love it!

Yogachick30, what goes around comes around, is all I can say. She is going to keep on teasing you because she knows it bothers you. Laugh at her. Agree with her. "Yeah, that looks really great--it will look even better when you're wearing it." Remember, time catches up with some people . . . The shoe may be on the other foot someday.

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Last edited by JayEll; 01-11-2007 at 08:08 PM.
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