What i see in the mirror
Hi everyone,
Sorry this is going to sounds such a drag but it will help me get some advice .... i hope. Okay here goes, im only 18, im young to put it blatantly but ive been through a **** of a lot in these recent years and i just think its really affected me a lot. I put on a lot of weight when my sister started having chemotherapy at the age of 9, i think i was about 14. It was a tough time for everyone, friends and family would ring up and ask how my mum and dad were, my sister but not me. And i know it sounds selfish but i felt like i needed some care for by someone, because my mum and dad were always at the hospital they didnt seem to tell us anything. i ended up looking after my other sister of 3 years alone. I think i started junk eating and put on a lot of weight for my age. Then one day my mum told me i needed to start exercising, which i was distraught about - although it was the truth its not something you want to hear really. Anyway then i went extreme dieting and i seem to remember losing a lot of weight in the space of a month. People noticed and i was an attractive girl then recently after going to on the pill i put on a lot of weight, my boyfriend didnt seem to mind, but again recently i lost about a stone again - 14 pounds for all the americans! Anyway im constantly being told i look good, i feel thinner and i feel i should look beatiful. But i look in the mirror and think who is that, i hate it, i crumble lookign in the mirror. Its just not what i expect. How do i start to see the realy me, and what everyone else sees?!!!!!!
|