I'M BACKI grabbed my salad and brought it with me.
Here it is. As most of you know my baby girl is getting married this Christmas Eve and there will be showers and get togethers, the usual expected wedding preparations .It has just come to my attention that after 12 or so years of being separated and 6 years of being physically separated in different dwellings that my ex has not told his parents that we are no longer together.This it has nothing to do with protecting their feelings and everything to do with him not looking bad. Everyone else in the family knows except for them, the other family members apparently are furious with him and have tried on many many occasions to make him tell them the truth but he refuses. They all know the situation and have all expressed how happy they will be to see and talk to me again, to my children.They also know that this situation will cause trouble as far as Wedding Plans go and have expressed how important it is to get this situation resolved. What in the name of heavens should I do. I am a nervous stressed out wreck. I didn't think anyone would believe this , so I never mentioned it this past week.If I do anything he will make my life a living ****, and my son says if his father won't do he will, but I am afraid for him to do this given his fathers temper and obvious insanity. I could use some feedback although I know that there is nothing anyone can do about it.
PS:I am under the impression that he has told them some fantasy story to explain my absense all these years of a nervous breakdown or something medical not that he didn't almost pushed me over the edge , I'm just slightly cracked
Good evening ladies,
I didnt' get a chance to post this morning before work thanks to the time change, it is still rather dark in the morning and we can't do much till it gets light enough to see so hubby waited for me to ride in with him. So it was get up, dressed, pack lunches and out the door.
Angie, I am so sorry you are going through a rough patch with your son. NO mother should hear that word or get the disrespect you got from him. There is no excuse for it.. I raised 5 boys, and had any of them said anything like what he did, my dh would have them apologizing in seconds flat or they'd be out the door. He would not tolerate certain things from them, and that was one of them. Thankfully none of them ever said those things. We had our share of arguments but they were always respectful. If he can drop $300 a night at a bar he can pay it for rent somewhere else.. how can he be at a bar if he is only 18? Maybe if he wants to live with you till he goes to college, he should be paying you rent and be responsible for certain things.Things will straighten out, be patient and not knowing the complete circumstances, perhaps he was having a bad day or whatever.. still he should apologize to you for that remark.
Christina, good luck on your walking.
Mindee, maybe your son is lactose intolerant if milk gives him the runs. There are alternatives. I'd find out if I were you. If not, I'd give him whole milk still. I had all my boys on wholemilk till they were much older.
Ellen, there is nothing wrong with purple walls. I had my bathroom redone last Feb. and after much struggling with color choices I went with my heart's desire and the walls are a light purple, actual name is Greenhouse Pansy, thought it was appropriate... and the ceiling is called Champagne, it's a mellow yellow, and I have sage accessories. I have a paper border at chair rail height with a sage outline top and bottom and a mixture of flowers in the middle with butterflies. Then I have a huge bouquet of silk flowers that look just like the wallpaper sitting on the floor in the corner.. anyway the purple walls are very pretty and I have gotten many compliments on it. My son's fiance told me Matt and Shari would be proud of my choices.. (from Room by Room on HGTV) in case some of you don't know them. Anyway it's your house and you should have the colors you want. Hubby wasn't to keen on a purple bathroom and after wards even he had to admit, it's pretty sharp.
This morning we had rain and 37 degrees F. by 10 am we had snow but by 3 o'clock it was all gone again. A typical Michigan day.
It also rained last night, even though we have a new roof on just a few years ago, there is a still a leek.. right in the doorway to my office, on my new wooden floor. Jane, I am in agreement with you, I hate old houses too, and I wish I could be moving into a new one..
Well, not much else to say. I've rattled on long enough.. Ellen, love your painting bear clip art.. he is so cute.. I'm off to ride at least 5 miles. Did 7 last night. So hopefully will catch you all in the morning.
Ellen,
What a mess he has gotten himself into.. I don't think you should do anything out of the ordinary except tell the truth. If all your family etc. know except for his parents, then it's his place to tell them or pay the consequences. What can they do to you? Someone will say something, I'm sure others will support you won't they? What did you mean your son would do something if your ex don't? that part was unclear.. IT's not your fault your ex lied to his parents...I guess I don't understand ... is he going to be involved in your daughter's wedding? We have a messed up situation with my son's wedding too.. not like yours but my son's fiance doesn't get along with her father, doesn't want him walking her down the aisle, but will allow him to come to the wedding as long as he don't cause any trouble..her parents are also divorced, it is a bit more complicated than that, but I won't go into that now... it will be interesting to say the list..but back to your problem.. can you be more specific....
HI GINNY.....NO NO..... You misunderstood , You see ,Jules said that hubby wouldn't let her paint her walls purple , then Angie said paint the trims purple ,cause he didn't say anything about the trims being purple only the walls , then I put my 2 cents worth in and said I don't think I would like purple trims , but how about purple wallpaper because hubby only said he didn't want purple paint on the walls and there you have it I have nothing against purple walls , just purple trims thats all, honest Ginny I LOVE PURPLE WALLS
My son meant he would tell his Grandparents, because he thinks its unfair that they don't know the truth , and they are the only ones who don't.He also knows the stress I am under and he wants his sisters wedding to be happy as it should be. My daughter thinks her father is being ridiculous , and yes everyone will be involved and at the wedding. No we are not divorced , for financial reasons and for fear of retaliation on me. I have been threatened many times and I have no reason to believe the threats would not to be carried out, given the abuse in the marriage.
MY Son just came for a visit I will come back in a bit
I will wait to hear more of the story Ellen before I voice an opinion. My first thought though is to let the ex stew in his own mess but of course your safety comes first
*sigh*
I just had a choclate chip cookie, a really big one......YUM.
Where is Jane????
I better get. Gaby will love the clipart!! She is a sleep now from a full day at the sitters but when she wakes up I will show her.
Met with lawyer regarding Nut Former Co Worker she is disputing her stress claim , what a ding bat.
Geesh Ellen, that is a tough one. What is with his thinking? This is suppose to be DD special day. Friends and family gathered around to celebrate her joyous occassion. Key words, DD's special day., not her father's. I would say, ride it out. And if DD is going to have a talk with him, she should express her concern with him. geesh Ellen, I am thinking for your safety not to contact his parents for sure, but why doesn't he want them to know? And what would DS be saying to his Grandparents? And would the ex take it out on you?
HI MARTII hope you are feeling better today HI SUSANnow what else would you like to know . Did you show Gaby the bear clipart I put there for her? HI ANGIEHe doesn't want them to know because he would have a lot of explaining to do about a lot of things and he doesn't want to look bad, although everyone else in the family knows and supports me 100% .Although I got along with my inlaws I can't say they will though, they are from the old country, and me not being Italian was a big no no when we married anyway. They have already had to deal with divorce with the other son and everyday occurances,and dealt with them in time , but this is to late I'm thinking for any real acceptance on their parts. I don't know , its such an uncomfortable ,situation. Problem is he is more concerned about himself than his daughters Wedding or feelings ,has always been that way. I know if they find out somehow he will blame me anyways. My son would tell them the truth ,without going into the details of why the separation took place, thats his dads responsibility to tell the truth or lie to them about that, although everyone in the family knows anyways.Things are so much easier when people are truthful about things , because it always comes out eventually.I really don't know what his thinking is, maybe he thinks he can force me into being the doting wife, but everyone knows that won't happen . This should be such a happy occasion , this should not be an issue, and I can't believe it is.
Bizzare describes the situation and him for sure, now you can understand why I'm cracked All kidding aside I honestly don't know how to deal with it, because if I force the issue I know he will retaliate.You get away , but not really, especially when there are kids involved, I try to keep things as peaceful as possible,try not to ruffle to many feathers, believe me I have had enough of this to last a lifetime. So hows that for a dilema and you guys thought I was all clipart and fluff
WELL ITS LATE AND I AM OFF TO BED, THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK ,MUCH APPRECIATED, ALTHOUGH I KNOW THERE ISN'T REALLY ANYTHING ANYONE CAN DO IT HELPS TO TALK ABOUT IT , I THINK . I GUESS WE WILL CHAT TOMORROW... NIGHT GIRLS HI ANGIEI JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT INSPITE OF ALL THIS TOUGH LOVE TALK ABOUT BRANDON, IF YOU START FEELING GUILTY ABOUT SHARING THIS WITH US , DON'T WORRY I KNOW THAT HE IS A GOOD KID , JUST A LITTLE OR A LOT MISGUIDED RIGHT NOW TRYING TO SPREAD HIS WINGS, AND MAKE HIS PRESENCE KNOWN. A LOT OF KIDS GO THROUGH THIS, ITS HARD ON US,AND IT WILL BE HARD ON THEM TO, IF ONLY THEY COULD SEE THE FUTURE BEFORE THEM. I DON'T KNOW WHY SOME LASH OUT WITH DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOURS TO THE ONES WHO LOVE AND WORRY ABOUT THEM MOST IN THE WORLD, BUT THEY DO. ONE DAY THEY WILL REALIZE THAT, MAYBE SOONER PROBABLY LATER, BUT EVENTUALLY I'M SURE BRANDON WILL.YOUR A GOOD MOM AND AN INVOLVED MOM,I CAN'T SAY DON'T WORRY, BECAUSE THATS WHAT MOTHERS DO. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT, BECAUSE WHEN I SAY THINGS SOMETIMES I REGRET IT, THINKING HOW COULD I SAY THAT ABOUT MY SON,WHAT KIND OF A MOM AM I ,BUT I LOVE MY SON AND I KNOW YOU LOVE YOURS AND WE DO THE BEST WE CAN DO AND HOPE THEY TAKE THE BEST WITH THEM.
Well, not much time to post again, but just have to tell you. My new grandson made his appearance last night. He is Joseph Charles after the two grandfather's (another J) and he weighted 7 lbs. 14 oz. Mom and baby both doing fine. Was so darn excited last night when ds called to tell us, I couldn't get to sleep for hours, so today I am soooooo tired but very happy.
Angie, what Ellen said is right on target. Your son will grow up and he'll realize that he was very wrong, just love him and be patient. They all have a way of pushing our buttons but you know you raised him right and he'll turn out to be a good man in the long run.
Everyone have a super day... catch you all this evening.
Christine--I have to admit I have been slacking in the water deaprtment--which explains why the scale is not moving...I am one of those people that need to drink to budge the scales....
Mindee--I had two kids by the time I was 21 and quit drinking too....
Ginny--How wonderful to have a new grandbaby!
Ellen--I feel for you, just make sure you keep yourself safe...Your should be ex seems to be a very selfish individual...and not too bright--does he think that the truth won't come out??? and how dumb is he too lose someone as wonderful as YOU!!!
Angie-- DS moved out at 18 1/2 so he wouldn't have to follow "our" rules..it's the best thing that ever happenned especially when the first roomate turned out to be a big lazy slob and DS realized that houses don't clean themselves and that he didn't like living in a mess. He and DH both found new appreciation for each other since DH realized that DS did more around the house than DH thought.
Susan--chocolate chip cookies.....mmmmmmmm.......I could use a big piece of chocalate cake right now.....it's my TOM and the cravings are terrible!!
Just finished my lunch...a turkey, turkey on pita and man was it good! Does anyone have a Spangles where you live? I never heard of them until I moved here and the food is quite good. They have a lot of diet things on the menu and the turkey pita is one of them. Anyway, got up late and missed breakfast so I was starving. Then had a 100 calorie pack or the honey maid cinnamon thin crisps. They are like little circle graham crackers and very tasty. Trying to get back on track again with my eating also. Anyway, went to the park and got in a 2 mile walk. It was so nice! The sun is shining but it is kind of cool-perfect walking weather. So that's a total of 5 miles walked, 3 yesterday and 2 today and man do I feel it! It's a good feeling/hurt though. Drank 3 bottles of water yesterday also and am aiming for 3 today. I put 4 out on the counter for me but since I haven't been drinking much, I will do what I can. Like I've said before, for me anything is better than nothing and so I just have to do what works for me.
GINNY...CONGRATULATION'S to the family on the new bundle of joy, little Joseph!
JULES...same here...if I don't drink the water, I don't lose. This time though, I'm not doing any challenges, just drinking what I feel like drinking, as long as I get at least two bottles a day I am good.
ELLEN...sounds like hubby got himself in this mess and he needs to get himself out. But honestly, can his parents be that blind as to not know what's going on? Sounds like he is the one who is cracked and you just be careful. About the house, and not really knowing what will be built anywhere there is a lot of property...you are right. We never really know. With the new house though we are 99% sure that nothing will be built behind there. The people have a nice big spread with horses and it isn't zoned for commercial property like this is behind us. And the yard is very deep so even if there was to be a house or shed, or something built back there it wouldn't be so close that we would feel people could see in the windows. Here we don't know what will be built or when or if it would be so close that we would feel that way. But...we specifically bought this house because there was nothing there. We like the openess of it other wise we would have bought somewhere else.
SUSAN...okay, ya gotta quit talking about pizza, donuts and cookies! All of my favs and you are making me want some! Some cookies would taste so good, as would a krispy kreme donut! Thank goodness there is no krispy kreme close to us!
ANGIE...how are you doing today? Are you any closer to figuring out what to do about Brandon?
MINDEE...there was a time that I only drank whole milk. Of course I don't care much for milk except in cereal. The only time I have milk is when I have some cookies. I like to dunk them in it and then drink the milk. But that is very rare and for a few years now I only buy 2%. That's what V drank when I met him and since i didn't drink much it wasn't so bad letting him have his 2%. The kids didn't really notice a difference either-saves a few calories.
Hi to MARTI, JANE, SUE, KATY, KATHY, MARYKATE, CONNIE, and everyone else!
Another boring day for me. Don't really have anything to do today except look up a few things online. I must say it felt really good to get in a walk at the park. Now that the weather is nicer I can do that more often. Anyway...take care ladies and I hope you all are having a wonderful day in your little corner of the world!
Feeling fat and bloated from TOM!! Ugh!!!! Which may explain why I felt so horrible this weekend.
Cristina--Never heard of Spangles. So that must be a place that's only in the mid states?? I remember back in the day when Walmart was just back East. When I was in Illinois, I thought it was a great place! Now they're all over the place.
Jules--Add me to the group of people who needs water to help lose weight! I've been getting those Crystal Light singles and drinking them at work. I tend to get more water in that way. And with warmer weather just around the corner....I really need to get in more water!
Ginny--Congratulations on your new arrival!! What a wonderful surprise! Get yourself some rest and we'll chat more later.
Ellen--What a bizarre situation he's gotten himself into. Are you sure they don't know?? I say you just be yourself and if anything comes up....let them know. And mention that you thought they already knew . Do you live far from them?
Angie--I hope that boy of yours realizes what a great mother he has. I have a friend whose daughter is 18 and she's out of school already. She's been acting the same way which has my friend in clenched fist a lot. She too gave her an ultimatum. I will have to get in contact w/her and see how things are going. Lots of hugs your way!
Susan--A pizza and movie sounds like fun!! And I love that movie!! Glad to hear that Rachael is doing a little better. It takes baby steps for everything. And you're doing a great job just being there for her!
Mindee--I had Jhanai on whole milk until she was about 21/2. If he's having trouble drinking any type of milk, maybe the wee one is lactose intolerant??
Jane--How are you and how are things going? When do you get to pick Katie up and bring home??? I'm always confused and to who is doing what!!
Having James get my bike ready for riding soon. The weather has been really crappy lately but I want it ready to ride when it does look nice.
TOM isn't letting me eat very well!! I feel really bloated!! And when I feel that way....I look it! I probably look like I'm with child!!!
Ok ladies...I took a lot of time trying to catch up! Need to take my doggies out for a bit and then clean myself up Before the day is over.
Does anyone have a Spangles where you live? I never heard of them until I moved here and the food is quite good. They have a lot of diet things on the menu and the turkey pita is one of them. Anyway, got up late and missed breakfast so I was starving. Then had a 100 calorie pack or the honey maid cinnamon thin crisps. They are like little circle graham crackers and very tasty. Trying to get back on track again with my eating also. Anyway, went to the park and got in a 2 mile walk. It was so nice! 
The sun is shining but it is kind of cool-perfect walking weather. 
So that's a total of 5 miles walked, 3 yesterday and 2 today and man do I feel it! It's a good feeling/hurt though. Drank 3 bottles of water yesterday also and am aiming for 3 today. I put 4 out on the counter for me but since I haven't been drinking much, I will do what I can. Like I've said before, for me anything is better than nothing and so I just have to do what works for me. 
All of my favs and you are making me want some! Some cookies would taste so good, as would a krispy kreme donut! Thank goodness there is no krispy kreme close to us! 
I've been getting those Crystal Light singles and drinking them at work. I tend to get more water in that way. And with warmer weather just around the corner....I really need to get in more water!