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re: Dad... many thanks...

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Old 09-10-2004, 04:13 AM   #1
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I just wanted to let you know that my Dad left us yesterday. He went very beautifully.
Mom was at the hospice in the morning, and she called to tell us that the nurses were no longer able to find an arterial pulse, that his extremities were getting quite cold, and that it wouldn't be long before he went. My sister and I went in right away. The doctor said he could last anywhere from several hours to a day or two.
We stayed and talked to him for some time while he slept. Finally my sister and I decided to pop out and pick up some magazines for Mom. Just before we left, I looked at Dad, and noticed that his breathing had become even more shallow.
When we were in Chapter's, I said to my sister, "Bet you anything he's going right now."
Sure enough, we got back, and he was gone. He'd left with Mom's head on his shoulder. She'd wanted desperately to be there when he went. It was as though he was waiting to be alone with her... it was very lovely.
We had a prayer with him (the doctor came in the room and joined us at that point... a darling man who was so good to Dad. He used to sit and talk to Dad... they were both avid soccer players, and both had owned an Austin Healey.) holding his hands, and then we all applauded Dad and his gracious departure.
Then the three of us toasted Dad with some tea and coffee, and gave him lots of hugs goodbye. And as one the nurses said to me when I was distressed at leaving him, "You're not leaving him. You're taking him with you."
We all had dinner at Mom's place last night, and toasted Dad a few times again with wine and whiskey. It was a good ending to the day.
Thank you for all of your support during the last few months. Your prayers and love and hugs got me through this. I'm so very grateful to you girls.
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Old 09-10-2004, 04:28 AM   #2
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Sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences during this time of passing.
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Old 09-10-2004, 04:55 AM   #3
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Would that we could all have such a peaceful and loving passing. Take care of yourself now, Ellis. Your Dad is still with you.
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Old 09-10-2004, 07:10 AM   #4
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((((Ellis)))) I'm so glad that your dad's passing was so peaceful. Like Ruth said, would that we all could leave that way.

Take care, Sweetie!

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Old 09-10-2004, 08:15 AM   #5
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oh ellis, i am so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself. your story brought tears to my eyes. please know my sympathies and prayers are with you and all of your family.
xoxoxo,
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Old 09-10-2004, 08:22 AM   #6
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Ellis, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for trusting this group enough to share such a private journey.

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Old 09-10-2004, 09:09 AM   #7
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Oh, Ellis, I am sitting here at work with tears running down my face (good thing I'm the only one in so far). I'm so glad he went peacefully and that you were able to spend so much time with him.
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Old 09-10-2004, 09:13 AM   #8
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I am boo-hooing, too. What a special way for him to go. If we could all be so lucky. I am sorry for your loss as well, and will be thinking of you.

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Old 09-10-2004, 09:15 AM   #9
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Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss. He will always be with you.

(((HUGS)))
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:06 AM   #10
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Ah, Ellis, that is beautiful...especially what the nurse said. I know that's true...he is always with you...and now, as an he can be with you all the time! I agree with everyone else...that is truly the way to go...bless you all for giving him a passing filled with dignity and peace.

Ellis, I'm so sorry you had to go through all this, and I know this might be the hardest time yet, so know that you have my prayers and tons of virtual hugs.
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:22 AM   #11
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Default Hugs Ellis

It sounds like it was beautiful and I'm so glad your mom was with him. There will be some difficult, lonely days and months ahead but hopefully you can remember the strength he left you with. Love to you.
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:24 AM   #12
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Ellis, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm so glad that he went peacefully though, that is the way to go. Your story brought tears to my eyes. You and your family are very strong and ya'll will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:44 AM   #13
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I got your email this morning and then read your lovely description of your Dad's last moments with your family. I can't tell if I'm crying because it's sad or because it was such a beautiful passing with your Mom. Probably both.
My prayers are with you (and so is your Dad )
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Old 09-10-2004, 10:46 AM   #14
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P.S. Take good care of your Mom!
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Old 09-10-2004, 11:10 AM   #15
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Ellis -- I am not sorry it happened the way it did, so peacefully, but I am sorry if you are hurting. Your dad is there with you in mind and spirit, and will always be with you in your heart...
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