I feel like total horse doody. Why? I'll tell you, even though I am embarassed beyond all belief.
I got on the scale this morning. I am up from the 192.8. I knew I would be up -- going to the gym 5x this week will do that to muscles. But instead of knowing it was ok, I went berzerk.
I went to the "bank" this morning, which happens to be in a supermarket.
I bought chocolate and 2 power bars. I had my first binge in a very long time. 2 Hershey bars, a pwer bar, some chips and a peach. Then a blt for lunch. I want to nap. I want to cry. I want to hide.
But instead, I will leave work early, go home, change and get my tush to the gym. Then, make a healthy dinner.
I am so very disappointed in myself. I don't even like chocolate!
I was a bad, bad girl. I just keep setting myself up for further disappointment and I don't know how to stop it.
It IS hard to see the scale move up even when you know it is for a healthy reason. You can do this, Jenn. Forgive yourself, keep exercising and get back OP.
hang in there!!! I'm so impressed you went to the gym 5x this week!!! I've been hanging by a thin thread to phase 1 and couldn't muster up the energy to exercise! You're an inspiration to a newbie!!!
I know what you mean, Jen. On vacation, while family was around, they had a fish fry and roasted brats and fried chicken and ate at restaurants that I had no business ordering from... I felt myself getting really angry with them b/c they know I'm trying to lose, and I could tell I was getting angry with myself for not having the willpower to opt for salads instead.
I think the conclusion I've come to is that I really do need to have some naughty meals every blue moon or so (just hopefully not a full week of them anytime soon). Then I don't end up resenting the healthy stuff so much.
BTW, I only gained one pound over that week of vacation, and I have already lost it and more in the week since I've been back. You can jump right back in pretty painlessly! Don't beat yourself up too much...tomorrow's a new day with no mistakes in it.
Thanks all. It just seems like I do so well, like going to the gym 5 darn times this week (mind you, I've only been 1x a week, if that, for the rest of the month) only to screw things us knowing I wouldn't make my July goal anyway. Then, I gain like 5 pounds and need to use another week or two to try to lose it, instead of losing "virgin" pounds.
It's just a neverending battle I guess!
Thanks again for the comments. And for letting me vent.
Jenn, I know you can do this. Look how AMAZINGLY far you have already come! Sometimes, when we get scared, we self-sabotage. I know that feeling way too well!
(I'm impressed that you snuck a healthy peach into your binge. Wow!!)
Take gentle care of yourself, Jenn. Don't let the guilt from this mini-binge drive you to a bigger one. :
Thanks all -- notice I am not at the gym and instead, got my computer!!! Only problem is that I didn't buy speakers, thinking i could transfer my old ones and they don't work. Also, my old digital camera is not XP compatible so I can't put up my eBay auction!
Oh well. Tomorrow is another day. I figure I walked 2 city blocks and up 3 flights of stairs with a 39 pound box and a 32 pound box!
Tomorrow is another day. I am helping a friend move so there's a workout for ya. I will try to get to the gym tomorrow and I am forgoing going out tonight.
Jenne, maybe you did a good thing? I remember when I did Atkins I stuck to it for 4 weeks with no weight loss, and finally gave in, and MAJORLY binged, yours pales in comparison, anyways! It broke my plateau, and I lost 3 pounds! Every meal is a new start.
I did a bad, bad thing...
It IS hard to see the scale move up even when you know it is for a healthy reason. You can do this, Jenn. Forgive yourself, keep exercising and get back OP.
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